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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24904285">run away (into my arms)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/scriptdoctors/pseuds/scriptdoctors'>scriptdoctors</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>half life but the ai is self aware</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Biting, Edging, Eldritch Brick Shithouse Benrey, Feelings Realization, Long Tongue Fuckery, M/M, Masturbation, Porn with Feelings, Power Play, Predator/Prey, Roommates, Rough Sex, Size Difference, Slow Build, Trans Gordon, chasing kink, lots of communication, some blood play, some praise kink</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:01:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>44,926</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24904285</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/scriptdoctors/pseuds/scriptdoctors</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>If this is a dream, I'm happy you're having it with me</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I will stay and savor the way you move me</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Don't want to miss one detail, one sweet smile from your lips</i>
</p><div class="center">
  <p>——————</p>
</div><p>It was then that he realized just how unnaturally silent the forest was. The only sound to be heard was Gordon’s own heavy breathing as he turned from side to side. It was as if every animal was collectively frozen, holding their breath as they hid out of sight. The air hung heavy in the air, thrumming with a nervous energy as not a single breeze went by. It felt as though time had stopped and Gordon was caught in a loop, unknowing until just then.</p><p>A twig snapped in the distance. Gordon spun around and faced the noise.</p><p>In the distance among the tree line was a tall and dark shadow, unnaturally still.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Benrey/Gordon Freeman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>128</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>746</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>minors please fuck off for the love of all things that are holy.</p><p>ok... id like to thank all my friends (shoutout to fc) who were there for me while i wrote this for like over the last month and a half of my life.</p><p>also i know in canon benrey is a bottom but top brick shithouse benrey is my canon cause... yeah. its good. also benrey is around 7 foot and gordon is like 5 foot 3 ish. Why? cause <s>i have a fetish</s> i see big boy benrey and go apeshit. <a href="https://66.media.tumblr.com/d07d0e4a3974788c92388a4f8cb65850/a38fdb25d8f39353-95/s250x400/8b5f641c3341792cdbae042185321ab8eb490219.png">here is a ref of the size difference were talking about here</a>. i was not kidding. he is Big. but you can imagine him as any size really. i wont get offended if you just imagine him a few inches taller or something.</p><p>so....... yeah. haha. you know how it is. also joshua isnt mentioned at all in this because i think what wayne said about gordon just having a picture frame of a clip art baby in his locker insanely hilarious. so joshua doesnt exist in this :( sorry gamers</p><p>also no beta so pls... go easy on me bro. this is 44k plus words so ive probably made a typo somewhere</p><p>anyways please enjoy!!! ;___;</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sun had already started to set soon after the party ended.</p><p>Everyone had already gone their separate ways, exchanging phone numbers with each other as they went to their respective homes. Dr. Coomer and Bubby apparently lived together in the suburbs at the other end of the city, and Tommy had shown him a rather large home that he shared with his father on his phone before leaving with him.</p><p>Gordon was waiting for a taxi on the sidewalk outside of the restaurant, looking at his phone as the sun slowly sank below the horizon. He was covered in blood, dirt, and other substances he didn’t want to think about as he waited for the taxi Tommy’s father called for him.</p><p>But most importantly, he was fucking <i>exhausted</i>.</p><p>His legs hurt, his arms hurt, his head hurt, <i>everything</i> hurt. He wanted nothing more than to go home, take off the HEV Suit, hop in a hot shower and sleep like a damn rock. </p><p>He heard footsteps approach him from the side. He looked over to see Benrey, giving him the same blank expression he always did.</p><p>Gordon couldn’t comprehend how the hell he was still alive after all that the Science Team did to try and kill him, but somehow he showed up to the birthday party like the rest of them. </p><p>Considering that he was part of the reason his arm got cut off in the first place, he wasn’t exactly happy with that development. He wouldn’t have minded if he never saw his fucking face again, really.</p><p>If he still had his minigun arm he would just shoot the guard to get him away from him. But he didn’t, so he glared at him instead.</p><p>“The fuck do you want?”</p><p>“Just chillin’, man.” Benrey answered, watching cars pass beside them.</p><p>“Go chill over there,” Gordon pointed away from him, “Actually, just go anywhere else. Get away from me. Forever.”</p><p>Benrey didn’t move. Gordon was very, very tempted to move instead. It’s not like he couldn’t hail the cab from anywhere else on the street corner. But Gordon was also very, very tired. He barely felt like he could move, his energy draining faster than he expected. So Gordon sat down on the dirty concrete sidewalk and put his head in his hands.</p><p>“What’re you doing?”</p><p>“Thinking about how much I hate you,” Gordon groaned, “And how you won’t leave me the fuck alone.”</p><p>A pause.</p><p>“Aren’t you, uh, supposed to go home?”</p><p>Gordon sighed, shaking his head in his hands.</p><p>“I’m getting a cab- Actually, wait, why am I even talking to you? I don’t want- I don’t wanna even fucking speak to you. I’m gonna pretend you don’t exist. Since you shouldn’t even be existing right now.”</p><p>Benrey didn’t reply. It was silent for a minute before Benrey said anything.</p><p>“Can I go with you?”</p><p>Gordon went still, slowly craning his neck over to Benrey with a look of disbelief.</p><p>“Why. The fuck. Would I ever say yes. Why would I ever in my entire life say yes?!”</p><p>Benrey shrugged.</p><p>“I ‘unno, just asking. Geez… Calm down.”</p><p>“I swear to fucking- Can you not just go home?!”</p><p>God, Gordon already broke his rule about talking to Benrey. But the man just made him so fucking <i>angry-</i></p><p>“No.”</p><p>Gordon’s mind stopped in its tracks.</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“I, uh. Lived at Black Mesa.” The man said, “I don’t- don’t have, uh, anywhere to go.”</p><p>The street was very, very silent as he slowly put together what Benrey meant.</p><p>“Oh my god,” he said in shock, “You wanna come live with me, don't you?”</p><p>Benrey didn't reply, but the continued silence was an answer in and of itself.</p><p>Gordon looked up at the sky and threw his hands up, “Honestly, this is fucking hilarious. The guy who got my arm cut off and tried to kill me wants to come live with me! This is just- just fucking amazing. I’m blown away.”</p><p>“That was one time, man. Don't be a- A baby over a lil’ limb loss between dudes.”</p><p>Gordon ignored him. </p><p>“I can’t fucking believe you.” he said, turning back to the other man, “What would ever make you think that I would ever consider that? That I’d let you into my home <i>ever?</i>”</p><p>Benrey held his stare for a moment before looking away, “I dunno. Just asking, man.”</p><p>“Can you not get it through your head that I fucking <i>hate</i> you?” He started to yell, thankful that no one else was around to hear him chew Benrey out, “Get the hell away from me you fucking weirdo!”</p><p>“... Ok.” Benrey said.</p><p>Gordon was surprised to see Benrey actually turn around and go the other way, beginning to walk down the sidewalk to who knew where.</p><p>He sighed in relief, no longer having Benrey’s invasive presence lingering near him.</p><p>… But a few seconds later, Gordon felt… strange.</p><p>He looked back over to Benrey, who was getting farther and farther away with every step.</p><p>… Dammit, Gordon must have been hit too hard on the head at some point in Black Mesa, but he felt <i>bad</i> for Benrey. His face as he walked away, trying as he might to keep it blank, just radiated ‘kicked puppy’ energy before he turned around.</p><p>Fuck, Gordon couldn’t just let him live on the street. He had been through his own stint of homelessness once before. While it was just couch surfing from friend to friends house for a few months before he could scrape enough money together to get his own place, he didn’t wish it on anyone. Especially knowing that Benrey probably didn’t have any real friends couches he could sleep on. He’d have to sleep on the street or under a bridge or something.</p><p>If he did, then the whole city would have to deal with him. And that would really suck. At least at his house the Benrey energy could be contained somewhat. </p><p>Shit, why did he have to be such a good person? Even to the person he hated the most? He wished he cared less. Well, he wished he didn’t care at <i>all</i>. It was obvious that he had to care somewhat, which was kind of fucking scary and weird, honestly.</p><p>He had to stop thinking about it. If he didn’t Benrey would get too far away and he’d have to run after him.</p><p>“Hey, wait.” Gordon called out after him, “Get over here.”</p><p>Benrey stopped and faced him, looking a bit confused. Gordon nodded and waved him forward, motioning for him to come back. Benrey approached the sitting man, stopping and looking down at him once he was next to Gordon.</p><p>“Look me in the eye, Benrey. Promise to me right now-“</p><p>Benrey’s brows rose.</p><p>“Huh-“</p><p>“DON'T TALK.” He raised his hand, “Shut up before I change my mind.”</p><p>Gordon was pleased to see that Benrey actually stopped talking, mouth snapping shut.</p><p>“Promise me right fucking now- No hesitation or a- Anything, that you will not mess my shit up. Or try and kill me. If I let you into my house.”</p><p>“Deal.” He said.</p><p>“That's not a promise, jackass.”</p><p>“Ugh, fine. Promise.”</p><p>… Well, he did promise. That was probably as good as he was going to get for now. Besides, if shit ever got too hot to handle he could always call the Science Team for round two of monster ass kicking.</p><p>“Ok. You can crash at my place, I guess. Don't make me regret this.”</p><p>“Pog.” He deadpanned.</p><p>“... I just made it so you're not homeless,” Gordon gestured to him, “And all you have to say is that?”</p><p>“Wuh?”</p><p>Gordon groaned. He didn't have time to say anything else to his new roommate, however, as his cab showed up at that moment. He and Benrey got into the backseat, and after telling the cabbie his address was on his way home. The cabbie didn't seem phased by the sheer amount of blood and other substances on his HEV Suit. No doubt Tommy's dad had something to do with that.</p><p>As Gordon watched the city pass by, he had a thought.</p><p>“So, I'm kind of tight on money now, I guess. I mean, I have some savings, but it's- no way can I live off that. So I gotta find a new job, and I guess you should too.”</p><p>“Is this, like, a rent thing?”</p><p>“Yeah,” he said, “I guess it is.”</p><p>“I mean I could just, uh, suck your dick, bro.”</p><p>Gordon's train of thought violently went off the rails and crashed into a nearby town.</p><p>“Fucking- Are you- No?!” He yelled, “Get a real job??”</p><p>“Wow, man, harsh. I’m- I give you an awesome deal of having your dick sucked for free by- By your best bro, best friend, most epic roommate and you just had ta’ just- Shoot me down. Not cool.”</p><p>“Dick sucking doesn’t put money in my pocket?? I think in the hierarchy of needs that shelter and food are way more important than having my dick sucked by some fucking- Some asshole who tried to kill me!”</p><p>Benrey grinned, “So if you got paid it’d be ok? Dope.”</p><p>Gordon felt himself go green around the gills at the sight of Benrey’s very, <i>very</i> sharp teeth, his mind making associations he never wanted to make from the topic at hand-</p><p>Benrey’s grin fell, “Dude. Don’t puke on me. Only clothes I got here. I was just kidding, anyway. You got, like, a super small dick anyway. Like, so small. No way I’d wanna put that thing in my mouth.”</p><p>“Oh my god, stop talking. Stop saying words.”</p><p>Gordon's eyes flickered to the rear view mirror, seeing the cabbie giving the two of them a very confused look before going back to watching the road.</p><p>Gordon looked back at his former coworker, “Can you just be normal for once? Please?”</p><p>“... Huh?”</p><p>Gordon threw his head back against the upholstery. He already regretted inviting him to his place and it hadn't even been ten minutes yet.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>——————</p>
</div>Gordon still regretted it two weeks later.<p>Gordon had found a job as a buyer at a used bookstore. It sucked, mindlessly receiving in garbage and having to explain to customers why he couldn't take their cat piss covered books. But he was getting paid a decent enough amount, which is what mattered. He figured that he would keep it at least until he found one that paid more.</p><p>But Benrey had just been fucking streaming since the day after he arrived.</p><p>Gordon wasn't even sure how he managed to do it in such a short amount of time, but he was starting to pull in the same amount of money that he was making at his real job. And it was really starting to piss him off, watching him goof off and somehow make actual money for playing shitty games while Gordon busted his ass so he didn't lose his apartment.</p><p>So seeing Benrey in his room playing on his computer after a particularly horrible day at work set him off.</p><p>“What the fuck are you doing in here!?” Gordon demanded.</p><p>“My job, dude.” He said, glancing over at him and then back to the monitor, “Chat, say hi. My roommate just got home.”</p><p>“You couldn’t bother to ask me if it was ok if you could just walk into my room while I wasn’t home and start streaming?! I could have had, like, dirty clothes or something laying out and then it’d just be on full blast for everyone to see!”</p><p>“Hey, I’m a bro. If I see a dude's dirty underwear I’ll toss that shit in the laundry bin.”</p><p>Benrey glanced down at chat again, “Don’t say that- Guys, chill… Ok, that was pretty funny. Got me there.”</p><p>Gordon raised a brow, “What’re they saying?”</p><p>Benrey shrugged, “Stupid bullshit. I’m gonna get off now. Thanks for watching tonight, guys. See ya.”</p><p>Benrey cut off the stream and turned the computer off. He spun around in the wide office chair, facing Gordon.</p><p>He patted his legs, “‘M done now.”</p><p>“Good. That’s good. Now get the hell out of my room. I’m trying to relax and seeing you touch my shit doesn’t help.”</p><p>“Whats up?”</p><p>Gordon made his way to his bed and collapsed on top of it, flipping over so he was looking up at the ceiling.</p><p>“This dumbass lady got pissed cause I could only give her a few dollars for her Susan Wiggs books. Like, demanding to see a manager pissed. She fucking- She started screaming at one point, wanting more money for her shitty paperback books! No one wants paperback Susan Wiggs! Shes, like, the fucking Agatha Christie of general fiction. We put at most three dollars on that garbage.”</p><p>He rubbed his head, feeling a headache coming on just from thinking about his job. Why the hell was he even telling Benrey about any of this? </p><p>“That sucks, man.” Benrey said, “Sounds shitty.”</p><p>Gordon lifted his head up, confusion clear on his face, “You're still in here? Don't you want to be annoying somewhere else?”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>Gordon groaned and threw his head back down against the pillow, “Y’know what? Whatever. Stay in here or don’t, I’m gonna talk about my horrible fucking job out loud and pretend you don't exist either way.”</p><p>Gordon started to ramble more about his job, going on about horrible coworkers and management as Benrey every so often made a short comment or joke. Gordon ignored him at first, but the longer he went on he found himself responding to Benrey, going against his statement about pretending he wasn't there. </p><p>He was also starting to feel less and less stressed. He didn’t realize how much he needed to vent to someone until just then. He wasn’t particularly glad it was Benrey, though. He would have rather it been Tommy or Dr. Coomer or even Bubby, even though he was sure Bubby couldn't give less of a shit about his job. But if Benrey was going to stay at his house, the least he could do was listen to him talk every now and then.</p><p>Once he was done, he sighed, sinking further into his bed. His head was still pounding after all of that. He rubbed his temples and reached over to his bedside counter, taking a drink from an old water bottle from the night before.</p><p>“You good?” Benrey asked.</p><p>“Head just hurts.” Gordon mumbled.</p><p>“Oh, ok.”</p><p>It was quiet in his room for a second before Benrey coughed.</p><p>“Guywhoneedshisdicksuckedsayswhat?”</p><p>The fuck did he just say? Did he hear that right?</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Benrey smiled slightly, “Ha, got ‘em.”</p><p>Ok. He actually said that then.</p><p>Gordon sat up, looking at him, “Dude, I don’t need my dick sucked. Especially not by you.”</p><p>“Hey, I’m- It’s, like, a totally legit thing. Doctors recommend friends suck each other's dicks to, uh, relieve pain and shit. Ask Coomer about it. He’s a doctor.”</p><p>“He has a doctorate in quantum physics, dipshit.”</p><p>“They- They teach every doctor that. Even physics doctors. You ever been to college?”</p><p>“Yes, but- Ugh.” He shook his head, “I’m not discussing this further, just- Leave, please. I want to take a nap.”</p><p>“You sure you don't need a spoon, bro? I’m game. Homies need a lil’ spooning every now and then.”</p><p>“Benrey. Out.”</p><p>“Kay, damn. Don't even wanna cuddle. I see how it is-“</p><p>“<i>Out</i>.”</p><p>“I'm goin’, I'm goin’.”</p><p>Gordon watched Benrey get up out of his chair and make his way to the bedroom door. When Benrey was just about to leave, he opened his mouth.</p><p>“Hey, uh, before you leave,” Gordon said without thinking, causing Benrey to stop with his hand on the doorknob, “Thanks for listening to me ramble, I guess.”</p><p>“... No problem, dude. ‘S whatever.” He said, not looking back at him.</p><p>Benrey closed the door behind him, leaving Gordon alone with a pounding headache in his now quiet room.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>——————</p>
</div>The week after Gordon rambled to Benrey was when he decided he should probably stop trying to avoid him.<p>Ever since he moved in, he had been actively trying to not see him while he was at his house. He didn’t have to worry about it at his job, but at home he either stayed in his room while Benrey played one of his game systems or did something in the living room while Benrey was streaming. He didn’t want to pretend like they were friends, so he had thought it would be best to just… not interact with him when he could.</p><p>But after talking to him about work… He should probably try and get to know the man better, at least. Even if he didn’t want to.</p><p>It's not like he still didn’t hate him. He’d look down at the scar on his arm and get the same feelings of revulsion, anger, <i>pain-</i></p><p>But he’d calm himself down, eventually. The man slept in the next room over, for fucks sake. He had to try and get somewhat comfortable to his presence.</p><p>So the next time he came home from work, he peeled off his jacket and shoes and walked into the living room, standing behind Benrey who was on the couch flipping through Netflix.</p><p>“What’re you doing?” He asked.</p><p>Benrey shrugged, “Just tryin’ to find something to watch.”</p><p>“Cool, cool…”</p><p>Benrey didn’t say anything, mindlessly clicking through movies and shows as Gordon debated on what he should say next.</p><p>“Can I…” He trailed off, unsure of what to say.</p><p>Benrey looked over his shoulder at him, “Wanna join?”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>He went around and sat down on the couch. And jesus christ, he only realized just then how big Benrey was compared to him.</p><p>He’d noticed back in Black Mesa that Benrey was not a small guy in any sense of the word. He had towered over Gordon the whole time they were trying to escape, constantly blocking the way just to annoy him or impede his progress. One time he even put the only wrapped sandwich they had found on top of a shelf he couldn’t reach just so he had to struggle to get it down.</p><p>But he had never been as close to him as he was now. Next to Benrey on the couch the man practically could envelop him completely if he wanted. Gordon was pretty short to begin with, but Benrey was just… A lot in many ways. He was wide, taking up a lot more than a single couch cushion, forcing Gordon to shift to the other end of the couch so as not to touch him. His knees knocked up against the coffee table, making it move when he did. And his arms were probably as wide as his head. Damn, those were some big ass arms...</p><p>Wait, no. Don’t focus on that, what the fuck. Focus on the tv.</p><p>“Uh, I heard that there's this one movie that came out recently. It's a video game movie but it's actually good.”</p><p>Benrey hummed, not looking at him as he handed Gordon the remote, “Kay, pull it up then.”</p><p>Gordon typed it out in the search bar and pulled it up so Benrey could read the description.</p><p>“Oh, a horror video game movie? ‘M interested… You sure you won’t cry, though? You gonna get- You gonna cry when you see a buncha monsters? Huh? You probably will. Gords gonna cry watchin’ his dumb horror movie.”</p><p>“Fuck off, dude.” He said, punching him on the shoulder as he hit play.</p><p>The two of them sat on the couch the whole movie, watching with varying levels of interest the longer the movie went on. Gordon expected Benrey to make annoying comments the entire time, but he was surprisingly quiet during the whole thing, save for the occasional question every now and then. </p><p>The movie was over before he knew it. The sun was starting to set outside his living room window as he got up and stretched, shirt lifting up slightly as he raised his arms over his head. Another movie was starting to play in the background, but Benrey had yet to pause it.</p><p>“You wanna see that or something?” He asked, popping his shoulder blade.</p><p>Benrey nodded, eyes flickering from his face to his stomach before settling back on the TV. Gordon could still see the movie from the kitchen, so he made himself and Benrey some ramen as he watched it. Benrey was good about making his own food (Even if it was the most absolutely disgusting shit he had ever seen. He still gagged when he remembered seeing him eat raw hamburger meat between two slices of bread) but Gordon was feeling nice. Making the other man food would be a decent way for them to get acclimated to each other's presence.</p><p>Once he was done, he sat his and Benrey's bowl of ramen on the coffee table. Benrey looked between him and the ramen, pointing to the bowl in front of him.</p><p>“That for me?”</p><p>Gordon nodded, starting to eat his own food.</p><p>“Sweet.”</p><p>They noisily ate noodles for a few minutes, watching the movie that was decidedly worse in quality than the last one. Gordon was tempted to turn it off, but Benrey said he ‘loved horrible movies’ so Gordon put up with it just to keep the peace. He sat with his legs crossed as the movie dragged on, only barely paying attention to what was happening as he steadily grew more tired. Work just had a way of making him exhausted when he got home. His eyes started to grow heavy halfway through the movie, so he couldn't help but blink trying to make the feeling go away.</p><p>The first time he blinked, the movie was still playing.</p><p>The second time he did, it was dark out and something completely different was on. That, and he was leaning against something very warm.</p><p>Gordon lifted his head up, wiping some spit that had formed in the corner of his mouth off. </p><p>“Oh, cool, you're up. That's good, cause I really need to pee.”</p><p>Gordon turned his head, seeing that Benrey was looking down at him. He had somehow fallen asleep on top of Benrey. And while that was already awkward enough, Benrey had wrapped his fucking arm around him, too.</p><p>He pulled himself away, sitting as far away as he could on the couch (which wasn’t that far, admittedly).</p><p>“The hell…?” He said groggily.</p><p>“Dunno, man,” Benrey shrugged, continuing to watch whatever was playing, “I got up during a real boring part of the movie to get a soda and- And you were just snoozin’. So I sat back down and you- You just, uh, fell over on top of me. Didn’t wanna move you.”</p><p>“So instead of waking me up you just- You wrapped your arm around me?!”</p><p>“Yeah. Too much work... ‘M lazy.”</p><p>Gordon growled under his breath. He didn’t say anything as he went to his room and got into bed for the night.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>——————</p>
</div>The longer Benrey stayed with him, the… <i>weirder</i> he felt.<p>It had been close to two months of them living together at that point, with Gordon trying to warm himself up to Benrey as much as he could without going insane... And it was starting to work.</p><p>It still pissed Gordon off seeing him make more money than he did, and some of his jokes really irritated the fuck out of him, but he was actually starting to <i>like</i> him. Which was fucked up, honestly. The man was an asshole, no way around it. But the jokes that didn't annoy him had him laughing more and more. He found himself starting to become interested in the asinine things Benrey would say. Fuck, one time he was at a store and almost bought him a fucking hat because it reminded him of the man.</p><p>Gordon was pretty sure that Benrey wasn’t using his weird alien powers to make him like him. So the only other reason that he could think of was that he actually <i>did</i> hit his head that hard at Black Mesa.</p><p>That brought on a completely new set of problems, because Gordon was noticing… Things.</p><p>It was little things at first. Benrey not blinking for extended periods of time, seeing perfectly well in the dark, opening his jaw too wide. Things that Gordon could ignore or just say that he might just be paranoid about.</p><p>There were bigger things he couldn’t ignore, though.</p><p>The way Benrey could bend his neck unnaturally to look at him if he was at an awkward angle, how bright his eyes glowed under whatever hat he was wearing, or how he swore that one time he saw something <i>writhing</i> under his skin.</p><p>It was all adding together, making a disturbing mosaic of inhuman traits that he had never seen at Black Mesa.</p><p>… But that wasn’t even what bothered him, honestly. It was how it made him feel that was messing with him.</p><p>Gordon would see all these things and instead of doing the sane thing and running the fuck away, he’d… Well, something would catch in his chest.</p><p>He wasn’t sure what it was, but he knew it wasn’t fear. He had seen so much fucked up stuff at Black Mesa that he could say he was more than prepared for whatever eldritch things Benrey could throw at him. But sometimes it would stop him in his tracks just… Looking at him. Observing him. He played it off as curiosity whenever it happened, not thinking about it too much. Even if he wasn’t using his degree, he <i>did</i> have a PhD. His brain naturally latched onto any information it could.</p><p>On one day in particular, his brain decided to focus on Benrey’s mouth.</p><p>Gordon was sitting beside him on the couch while Benrey played on his playstation, talking into his headset about some asshole in the lobby of whatever game he was playing. Gordon wasn’t interested in the game, so he just decided to look at his teeth. It wasn’t that weird. If anyone else lived with someone who had razor sharp teeth they’d probably stare at them too.</p><p>Benrey opened his mouth, saying something into the mic about if they should kick them, giving Gordon the perfect view. They looked smooth, with no serration that he could see. They were shaped like classic shark teeth, looking perfectly capable of… Doing things that he would need sharp teeth for, he guessed. </p><p>Benrey looked at him from the corner of his eye, pausing in what he was saying.</p><p>“You need something?”</p><p>Fuck, how long was Gordon staring at him?</p><p>“What? No- Just listening to your conversation.”</p><p>Benrey hummed and tapped on his mic.</p><p>“Gonna go, guys… ‘M hungry. I’ll get on later.”</p><p>Benrey quit out of his game and shut the playstation down, then got up and went to the kitchen. He leaned down and started to dig through the fridge, moving boxes and objects around inside noisily.</p><p>“Dude, just heat up the spaghetti from last night.” Gordon said.</p><p>“Nah, that shit was like… Nasty. Can't eat that again.”</p><p>“What? That was so good!”</p><p>Benrey closed the fridge and started to look through the freezer, “Yeah, cause you got like, uh… Shit tongue. Can't taste things good. A dumb idiot tongue.”</p><p>Benrey reached deep into the back and grabbed an unopened container of vanilla ice cream. He began to rip open the plastic seal as Gordon rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Ice cream isn't real food, Benrey. And my tongue isn't dumb.”</p><p>“Yeah it is. Can't do cool shit like- you can't do Tech Deck tricks with it. Cause your tongue is so small and shitty.”</p><p>Gordon shook his head, “Yeah, I'm pretty sure you can't do anything cool with yours either. It’s a fucking tongue, dude. You're not doing shit with that thing.”</p><p>Benrey paused for a moment, thinking to himself. He looked down at the ice cream container in his hands, then slowly back up to Gordon before smirking.</p><p>“Watch this.”</p><p>Gordon's irritated face quickly turned to one of animalistic fear as Benrey opened his mouth wider than any human could, flesh ripping on his cheeks as a huge and slimy tongue slithered out. It was far too long, the inhuman organ going down to his chest, dripping saliva onto his shirt and the opened ice cream.</p><p>He could only watch with his mouth wide open as Benrey started to dig his tongue into the ice cream, rolling and contorting as it slowly got a large scoop of vanilla ice cream out. It slid quickly back into his open maw, dragging the dessert inside before snapping his mouth shut with a sickening crack.</p><p>Benrey grinned at Gordon as he observed his dumbfounded and fearful look.</p><p>“Uh. Yeah. Proved you wrong, huh.”</p><p>Gordon found he couldn’t speak. Watching Benrey do whatever that was made the weird feeling he had been getting come back stronger than ever. It felt like a rock was caught in his chest, making it hard to breathe as he looked at him.</p><p>Gordon just wanted to get away from the situation, honestly. He had no idea how the fuck to respond to that.</p><p>“Uh… Huh.” He was able to say after a long period of silence.</p><p>“Yeah, I'm kind of fuckin’ awesome. ‘M like, uh…” Benrey smacked his lips, “Iguana.”</p><p>Gordon didn’t respond, although he was tempted to say something about how iguanas don't have long tongues, dumbass-</p><p>… Hold up.</p><p>“Wait just a- You just fucking stuck your nasty tongue in my ice cream I bought!”</p><p>Benrey began to laugh as Gordon chewed him out. It was better to yell than focus on whatever he was feeling after witnessing that.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>——————</p>
</div>A few days later, Gordon was lying down on his bed. His whole body was aching, both from a generally exhausting day at work and the fact that he slept wrong somehow. The older he got the more his body hated him, it seemed. He had taken some pain medicine earlier when he got home but it hadn’t taken effect yet. So until it did Gordon was forced to lay down underneath his shitty, scratchy sheets that desperately needed a wash.<p>His phone was somewhere in the dining room but he didn’t want to get up to go get it. Benrey was playing some god awful game in the living room and he was not in the mood to be dragged into it. And he really wasn’t in the mood to read a book or play on his desktop either. He just wanted to sink into his bed and never get up again.</p><p>Well… That really limited his options of what he could do to alleviate his boredom and get his mind off the pain. But he did have one idea.</p><p>He shifted on the bed, spreading his legs just a bit as he began to take his pajama pants off. </p><p>He hadn’t touched himself in quite a while. He had just been so busy after everything that happened in Black Mesa that it just slipped his mind. God knew he needed it though. He could feel his dick harden just from the light teasing he was giving himself, tracing his fingers along the inside of his now bare thighs.</p><p>… He didn't even know why he was even teasing himself, honestly. It wasn't like anyone was watching him, so he there was no need to put on a show. He just needed to get on with it.</p><p>He grasped his dick, moving his foreskin back and forth with his fingers a bit. Testosterone had been good to him over the years, giving him some decent growth. Gordon sighed as he played with himself, tugging at his dick as his mind drifted.</p><p>He wasn't imagining anything in particular, just losing himself in the sensations he hadn't let himself feel in quite a while. While his body ached, the gradually building pleasure was able to mask a majority of it. </p><p>Gordon groaned under his breath, trying to be quiet as he heard Benrey let out a loud curse in the living room. Probably losing, no doubt. Benrey wasn't as amazing as he thought he was at games sometimes.</p><p>Wait, don't think about him. The hell? Just ignore him, Gordon.</p><p>Gordon grabbed an unused pillow on his bed and threw it over his face, trying to muffle the sounds of Benrey talking in the living room. The walls were thin, so Gordon was cursed to hear Benrey speak two rooms over.</p><p>He growled to himself, trying his best not to focus on him as he continued to stroke himself. It was slowly beginning to work, once again feeling a slow ball of pleasure building up in his abdomen. </p><p>“Fuck…” He whispered to himself, “Been way too long.”</p><p>He forced the pillow down harder onto his face, nails digging into the pillowcase as he groaned. His mind was beginning to form fantasies, the thought of hands rubbing up against him, going lower and lower, yet tangling in his hair somehow, thoughts of teeth, those sharp, sharp teeth-</p><p>His breath caught in his chest as his brain tried and failed to derail that train of thought because what the fuck, did he really just think about <i>Benrey</i> while he jacked off? But his dick twitched in his hand and that fucking feeling that he’d been trying to understand for weeks now came back in full force as he flushed red underneath the pillow because holy shit Gordon couldn’t stop touching himself thinking about Benrey now.</p><p>His legs shook and clenched as his hand sped up. He could just barely feel the sensation of Benrey's teeth dragging along his neck, threatening to break the thin skin. Benrey's hands digging into his hips, pulling him closer until there was no space between them, and fuck, Gordon let out a choked moan imagining just how small he’d feel underneath him-</p><p>His breathing grew more shallow and quick as he moved his other hand from the pillow to his hole, dancing his fingers around the entrance. </p><p>God, he hadn't been wet in so long, but he was absolutely <i>soaked</i>. And it was because he was thinking about fucking Benrey. He really must have brain rot.</p><p>Gordon inserted a finger, hissing under his breath as he rubbed up against his walls. It had been such a long time since he put anything inside himself, but he was aching for it, aching for anything-</p><p>Aching for Benrey's tongue, that ungodly organ writhing out of his mouth and making its way inside of him, stretching him wide.</p><p>Gordon came, choking out a moan as his entire body convulsed. His mind was blank, only able to concentrate on the motion of his finger inside of him and the hand still stroking his dick, dragging out the pleasure he was experiencing.</p><p>Eventually, he came down from his orgasm induced high, breathing heavily underneath the pillow. He pulled his sticky finger out of himself and threw the pillow off of him, attempting to wipe sweat off of his face without getting cum on himself.</p><p>Besides the ache in his legs now growing stronger from how hard he was clenching them earlier, his mind was starting to focus on the ball of… <i>Something</i> that hadn't gone away once he started thinking about Benrey-</p><p>Gordon’s eyes went wide as he froze. Then he slammed his hands against his face and groaned, uncaring of the mess he was putting on it.</p><p>Because Gordon Freeman was a dumbass who somehow had a crush on Benrey and didn't realize it until he jacked off to him.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>——————</p>
</div>Gordon was in deep shit.<p>It was kind of obvious, looking back on it. He’d had crushes before and knew what they felt like. He had just been trying to reason it away, to try and make more sense of what he had been feeling because what he did feel didn't make any fucking sense. Because, honestly, <i>Benrey?</i> </p><p>He guessed they were friends at that point with how often they hung out, and Benrey hadn't tried to harm him or anything, but still.That didn't quite explain how Gordon had gotten a crush like he was some middle schooler. He was twenty seven for fucks sake, he didn't want to have to deal with shit like crushes. </p><p>But jesus, crushing he was. Ever since he figured out that's what it was, Gordon couldn't ignore it anymore. It just seemed like everything Benrey did now had some sort of effect on him. Gordon could keep it under wraps because he was an adult but… Fuck. He just wished that Benrey wasn't so fucking cute.</p><p>Benrey would be doing anything; sitting on the couch, talking on his stream, whatever. And Gordon's stomach would do flips at the sight, the sound of his voice, anything. One time Gordon came home and Benrey had made <i>food</i> for him, causing Gordon to have to go into his bathroom and splash water on his face because when the hell was he so caring? Even if it was just some shitty microwave bacon, it still made Gordon blush to think about. </p><p>So, yeah. Gordon had it bad, and he was screwed.</p><p>He had to get over it at some point. They lived together, it wasn't appropriate for him to have a crush on him. Repressing it obviously didn't help, but he couldn't (and wouldn't) act on it. So his only option was to ignore it and hope it went away.</p><p>It had been three months of living together at that point. The weather was turning hot, the humid weather of the south starting to creep into every nook and cranny of the apartment. Gordon had been convinced today was going to be the day that he died of heat stroke, but Tommy had called him out of the blue and invited him and Benrey to come swim in the pool at his house. They had been to the Coolatta household before, but they had never been swimming there. He was jealous that whatever job his father did made them enough money that they could have their own swimming pool. The apartment pool was a bit too gross for his liking.</p><p>Gordon had driven them to Tommy’s house. He had mentioned something to Benrey a while back about maybe saving up for a car, but Benrey just mumbled something about how he didn't need one. Considering how he always seemed to be able to just appear wherever he wanted, he guessed he had a point. But Gordon's car had air conditioning, so Benrey was forced to sit in his passenger seat.  He had felt bad for the other man because he had to push the seat back all the way to sit somewhat comfortably. Having a shitty Mercury Milan wasn't good on Benrey's knees, no doubt.</p><p>By the time they got there Dr. Coomer and Bubby were in the backyard setting up the grill while Tommy was tossing a frisbee to Sunkist. Gordon and Benrey walked up to the gate, towels and sunscreen in tow as Gordon knocked on the wood loudly before unlocking it.</p><p>Dr. Coomer looked up from his task and waved to them, “Ah, hello Gordon! Hello Benrey!”</p><p>Gordon waved back and walked up to Coomer with Benrey following behind him. Gordon and Coomer talked for a bit, with Bubby commenting every now and then as he set up the gas tank to the grill. Once Bubby was done, Dr. Coomer excitedly told them that they could get in the pool while he and Bubby attended the food.</p><p>Gordon went over to a lawn chair and put his towel down before taking his shirt off. He sat it down and turned around, watching Tommy do a running dive into the pool alongside his dog. Tommy gasped when he resurfaced, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes.</p><p>“Holy shit, it’s really- it’s pretty cold!”</p><p>Tommy swam up to the edge and stopped near Gordon, “Get in, Mr Freeman! Don't stand there like a lump on a log!”</p><p>Gordon smiled down at him, “Yeah, man, I will. Just gimme a second.”</p><p>Someone walked up next to Gordon, their sandals flopping on the tiles loudly. He turned his head, facing Benrey.</p><p>Benrey's naked chest, that is. Ah... Yeah. That sure was a bare chest, huh.</p><p>Gordon looked up, having to crane his neck to look him in the eye. That two foot height difference was not good for his neck.</p><p>“Yo, uh,” Benrey lifted his hand and waved a spray bottle of sunscreen, “Can you spray my back?”</p><p>Ok, Gordon, don’t freak out. You got this. Don’t be a weirdo. It's just some sunscreen. You got this.</p><p>Gordon shrugged, trying to act casual, “Sure. Turn around.”</p><p>“Sweet.”</p><p>Benrey handed him the bottle and turned around. Gordon shook it and started to coat his back with sunscreen, watching the cold spray make his skin shiny under the harsh sun. He was trying very, very hard not to focus on the wide expanse of skin before him. And damn, he was a lot hairier than he expected-</p><p>Gordon tossed the sunscreen into a lawn chair beside them, trying to think of something else, “You’re done.”</p><p>“You not gonna, like, rub it, bro? Not gonna lather me up like a greasy lil’ hog?”</p><p>“Nope,” Gordon said, “Literally never gonna touch you after that.”</p><p>“Damn. Missin’ out on this uhhh,” He smacked his lips, “Piece of art right here.”</p><p>Tommy interrupted their conversation before it could go any further, which Gordon was thankful for.</p><p>“Hey!” He said, calling from the pool, “Get in already!”</p><p>Gordon smiled, ignoring Benrey in favor of doing a running jump into the pool. The cold water felt amazing against his hot, flushed skin. Gordon resurfaced, taking a deep breath as he sat his glasses on the side of the pool. </p><p>Gordon, Benrey and Tommy hung out in the water for a while, listening to tunes on the radio next to the pool as Bubby and Coomer cooked everyone food. The sun beat down heavily upon them, reflecting bright rays of light back onto their faces as they enjoyed the chlorinated water.</p><p>Eventually, Dr. Coomer clapped his hands together.</p><p>“Food’s ready, everyone!”</p><p>“Hell yeah. Can’t wait for Bubby’s meat.” Benrey deadpanned.</p><p>They all got out of the water, beginning to stand around the grill as Bubby took the hot dogs and hamburgers off the grill.</p><p>Gordon felt someone tap his shoulder. He looked over to see Tommy standing beside him.</p><p>“Could you go inside and get some cups? I need to dry Sunkist off cause she doesn't like being wet while she eats.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah, sure.” He said, “Be right back.”</p><p>He headed inside, opening the glass sliding door and walking into the spacious kitchen. Gordon opened a cabinet over the dishwasher and started to grab a few glasses, sitting them down on the counter one at a time.</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>Gordon jumped, thankful he didn't have a glass in his hand because it definitely would have been reduced to broken shards on the floor. He turned around to see Benrey standing sopping wet in the kitchen.</p><p>“You need something?”</p><p>“Yeah. Don't want lemonade. That stuff's gross. I came to get some juice instead.”</p><p>Benrey's eyes flickered up to the cabinet above Gordon, “And, uh, Tommy said he wanted the wine glasses.”</p><p>Gordon raised a brow, “... We’re drinking lemonade out of wine glasses? Why?”</p><p>“Huh? Yeah.”</p><p>Gordon knew better than to press the issue. If Tommy wanted wine glasses, he would have his wine glasses. It was the least he could do after Tommy invited them over.</p><p>But as Gordon looked back over to the cabinet, he realized he had a problem. Those glasses were all the way at the very top, and Gordon was not tall enough. He supposed he could just… Climb onto the counter, but he didn't want to get it dirty or anything. Damnit, why did Tommy and his dad have to be tall, too? Maybe not as freakishly tall as Benrey, but they should think about their short guests sometimes, too.</p><p>“Aw, look at the short dude over here. Can't even- Can't get those things down cause of your legs? Your little short legs?” Benrey said from behind him, “You need me to do it since I’m, like, tall and shit? Bet you do.”</p><p>Before Gordon could turn around and tell Benrey to fuck off, Benrey squished himself up against Gordon and began to reach into the cabinet.</p><p>He couldn't move, stuck between the cold marble counter and a very wet but shockingly warm body. His face went bright red, and he was sure that his blush was slowly making its way down his neck too. </p><p>“Dude?!” He cried out, “Personal space much??”</p><p>“Calm down man.” Benrey said, grabbing multiple wine glasses, “Was in my way. Standin’ there bein’ all short.”</p><p>Benrey backed away, multiple glasses in hand. Gordon turned around quickly, eyes wide as he looked at Benrey’s blank face.</p><p>“Don’t just stand there. Food’s gonna get cold.”</p><p>Benrey blinked, then almost imperceptibly tilted his head a bit.</p><p>“Damn. Sun really fucked your face up, huh.”</p><p>With that, Benrey left the kitchen, dripping water onto Tommy’s tiled floor. Gordon stayed inside for a few more minutes, trying desperately to cool down his too hot face before he went back out.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>——————</p>
</div>It was a quiet midsummer night in the apartment. Gordon was laying on the floor in his room, looking up at the ceiling. He wasn’t upset or anything. He just was relaxing, listening to the ambient noises outside his open window.<p>Benrey was out, shockingly. He didn’t go out for much, save for various gaming accessories for his streams or whatever snacks Gordon didn't have that he wanted. Either way, Gordon was glad for the temporary space. They spent a lot of time together everyday, playing games, watching movies, whatever. If one of them was doing something, the other was probably somewhere nearby.</p><p>But that also meant that it was getting harder and harder for Gordon's crush to go away. Spending so much time together just made it grow stronger, if anything. Maybe in the time Benrey went out Gordon would get over it.</p><p>He sighed. Yeah, that’d be nice, wouldn’t it? So he could have a normal relationship with Benrey instead of an awkward crush on him.</p><p>Gordon stared up at the ceiling for an indeterminate length of time, hearing cars drive by and crickets chirp until eventually he heard someone walk down the hallway and knock on his door.</p><p>“You good?” Benrey asked through his door.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m good.” He said, turning his head towards the voice.</p><p>“Cool. Just been, uh. In there for a while.”</p><p>“It’s my room, man.”</p><p>Benrey didn't say anything for a moment.</p><p>“... Want some chips?”</p><p>… Well, he <i>was</i> kind of hungry. What time even was it?</p><p>“C’mon in.”</p><p>Benrey opened the door, having to crouch a bit to stick his head in as his yellow eyes looked down at him.</p><p>“Vibing on the floor? Dope.”</p><p>He tossed the bag down onto the ground and sat down. Gordon grabbed the bag of chips and popped one in his mouth, salivating at the taste. He was near starving.</p><p>“What time is it?” Gordon asked.</p><p>“Uhhhh…Two. I think.”</p><p>Fuck. He had work tomorrow and there he was zoning out and doing the opposite of sleeping. He groaned and rubbed his eyes.</p><p>“Damnit... Should go to bed soon.” He mumbled.</p><p>Benrey shifted beside him, doing what he could only assume was a shrug, “Guess so. Or you could be cool and stay up with your friend.”</p><p>Gordon turned his head over to Benrey. It was dark in his room save for the glow coming from Benrey's eyes illuminating him.</p><p>“... Fuck it. Whatever. I’m already gonna be tired in the morning.”</p><p>“Sweet.”</p><p>Benrey laid down next to him, intertwining his fingers on his chest as they both stared at the ceiling, every once in a while eating a few chips.</p><p>Eventually, Gordon was the one who broke the silence.</p><p>“So… Friends, huh?”</p><p>“Huh?” </p><p>“That's what you said,” Gordon replied, “Friends.”</p><p>“Oh. Yeah. I did.” Benrey paused, turning his face from the ceiling to the smaller man next to him, “We’re, like, so tight. Just need some friendship bracelets now. Show everyone how serious we are.”</p><p>Gordon let out a small chuckle, “I probably have some string somewhere we could use.”</p><p>“Nah. We’re gonna get matching, uh… Cock rings. Slap that shit right on our dicks.”</p><p>It probably had something to do with how tired Gordon was, but he started to laugh at that. </p><p>Benrey grinned next to him in the dark, cheered on by Gordon's elation, “Someone’ll come up to me and be like ‘Uhhhh hey wanna be pals?’ and I’ll just whip my dick out and be like ‘Nah man, I’m taken’.” </p><p>Gordon was still giggling at the dumbass joke Benrey was making. Benrey was still talking about it, but he had to try and not focus on that because he began to think about Benrey actually wearing a cock ring which was <i>not</i> a topic he wanted to think about, especially with the object of his affections right next to him. </p><p>Benrey and Gordon kept talking for a while, drifting into random topics. It was nice, not talking about anything in particular in the darkness. </p><p>That, and Gordon was happy that Benrey had said they were actually friends. It's not like that's something you usually talk about with someone, confirming that you’re friends or not. Even without his giant crush, he wanted to be friends with him now. And then Benrey just came out and said they were. So yeah, Gordon was having a pretty decent night, all things considered.</p><p>Eventually, the conversation between them died down, only leaving the ambient outdoor noises to fill the silence. Gordon rubbed his hands on his carpeted floor, feeling the rough texture on his palms as he listened to cars pass outside.</p><p>“I forgive you, by the way.” He said without thinking.</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“For my arm.”</p><p>Benrey’s head shot over to him.</p><p>“... What?”</p><p>“It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while now.” Gordon said, looking over at him, “I mean, I probably shouldn’t, but I do. I’m not… Angry anymore about it.”</p><p>Benrey sat up, still looking at him. His glowing eyes betrayed his otherwise emotionless face, showing just how confused he felt.</p><p>“... I don’t- Huh?” He drummed his fingers against the floor, “You’re, uh, kidding. Right?”</p><p>Gordon shook his head, “I’m not, Benrey. I really do forgive you for that.”</p><p>He wasn’t lying. It was probably just the general tiredness that made him speak his mind about it, but it was the truth. He really did forgive Benrey for what happened, and Bubby as well. He wished it didn’t happen, but he couldn’t change the past. No one could. But he had decided that if he wanted to be friends with Benrey, he had to let the past go. It had been a slow process with setbacks. So, so many setbacks. The amount of times Gordon would wake up in a cold sweat after another nightmare, another horrible dream of having his arm violently chopped off, or the phantom pain he would still get from time to time that would have him stopping in his tracks… It was too many to count.</p><p>He would never get over it, but he could heal from it. Try to get better, try to move past his pain and anger. And he liked to think that he had after so long. He honestly did forgive Benrey. Not because he had a crush on him, but because he wanted to move on. His friendship with Benrey and mental health was more important than holding onto the past.</p><p>He could see Benrey's eyes shoot down to the large scar that wrapped around the middle of his forearm as he drummed harder.</p><p>“I- I don’t, uh-” Benrey stuttered, “I didn’t… I-”</p><p>Gordon started to reach over to him, seeing how uneasy he was getting, “You good, man?”</p><p>Benrey jerked his arm away and stood up, leaving the room without a word. He closed the door behind him with a resounding click, leaving Gordon alone in the dark. The only thing that remained was the sound of passing cars and the confused pit in Gordons chest as he heard Benrey leave the house once more.</p><p>… Gordon didn’t bring it up after that again.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>——————</p>
</div>Two weeks later, Gordon woke up to a knock on his bedroom door.<p>Gordon groaned, sitting up slowly and popping his shoulders. He dragged his feet to his door and stuck his head out. Benrey was fully dressed, clad in a baggy hoodie and khaki shorts.</p><p>“... You need somethin’?”</p><p>“Uh… You know what day it is, right?”</p><p>“Dude. It’s, what… ten or some shit?” He rubbed his eyes, “I wanna sleep some more.”</p><p>Benrey blinked.</p><p>“It’s your birthday, man. Get up.”</p><p>… Oh shit. Gordon had completely forgotten. When he was younger, birthdays were a big deal. He would have been excited for weeks thinking about it. But now that he was closer to thirty than twenty it was just another day to him. He would just go out and buy himself some socks then go home and play games or something.</p><p>“Benrey, I kind of… Don’t care. I’m gonna go back to sleep.”</p><p>He started to close the door, but Benrey stuck his fingers in between the door and the doorframe.</p><p>“Booo, Gordo doesn’t wanna fuckin’... Go do shit on his birthday. Just gonna sleep the day away like a loser. Gonna, uh… Miss my epic present I got for him.”</p><p>Gordon slowly opened the door back up.</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“Yeah, got this thing in the kitchen. Go look.”</p><p>He walked down the hall, followed by a confused Gordon dressed in pajama pants and an old stained sleep shirt. Benrey stopped in front of the kitchen table, gesturing to the most poorly wrapped present Gordon had ever seen in his life.</p><p>“Look at that masterpiece.” Benrey deadpanned, “Go ahead ‘n rip that bad boy open.”</p><p>Gordon grabbed it, trying to guess what was underneath the wrapping paper. He could hear something moving around inside the box but couldn’t guess what it could be. But standing around thinking about it wouldn’t get it open any sooner. He started to tear into it, putting the shreds of wrapping paper on the table. Eventually he took off enough that he was able to see a cardboard box he brought home a few days ago to carry something inside. He ripped it open, tearing the tape off to reveal his present.</p><p>His eyes widened as he pulled out a sealed vinyl record. He didn’t have his glasses on, so he had to squint just a bit to read the fine text on it, but a smile grew on his face as he figured out what it was.</p><p>“Holy shit,” He breathed, “This Linkin Park record o- Only had, like, two hundred printings! How in the fuck did you get this?!”</p><p>Benrey shrugged.</p><p>Gordon looked down at his record, then back at Benrey, “I can’t take this, Benrey. It’s kind of expensive…”</p><p>Benrey rolled his eyes, “Oh my god, you even know what a present is? Just- You gotta take it. Already got it.”</p><p>Gordon fiddled with the plastic wrapping covering the record, feeling the smooth texture underneath his fingers.</p><p>“... Thank you. I love it, Benrey. It’s really awesome.”</p><p>Benrey nodded, but Gordon swore he could see a small smile form on his face. He then slapped him on the back, almost causing him to drop the record out of his hands.</p><p>“Cool. Get in the car now. Got places to be.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“We gotta drive there unless you wanna, like, walk across town. Or I mean, we could do that. Then I’d get to see those toes in action.”</p><p>Gordon gagged, “Can you not talk about my feet on my birthday?”</p><p>“Wha? Talking about a bro’s feet is, uh… A- A- A birthday tradition. No birthday is good without some foot talk. I’d be so sad if my birthday came and my friends didn’t- Didn't talk about how sexy my piggly wigglys were.” Benrey looked down and gestured to Gordon's feet, “Take off those socks and show me them toes so I can fuckin’... Uh. See ‘em. Got so many compliments stored in my brain. Good ones.”</p><p>“Oh my god, just get in the car.”</p><p>A few minutes later Gordon followed Benrey’s (horrible) directions to the center of downtown. He didn't drive there very often just because of how busy it usually was, but he was excited to see exactly what Benrey has in store for them.</p><p>Well… Until they actually got there.</p><p>“I cannot fucking believe you used my birthday as an excuse just to go to a fucking arcade.”</p><p>“You're sayin’ that like you aren't destroying that skeeball high score.”</p><p>“That,” Gordon said, throwing a ball underhanded and watching it roll into the center hole, “Is not the point.”</p><p>“Uh huh… Ok. Whatever you say, man.” Benrey said beside him, watching more tickets spit out of the machine. He ripped them out, bundling them into a tight ball as Gordon collected his cup of tokens he sat down.</p><p>The taller man shoved them into his pocket and followed Gordon, looking for the next machine to play. They only walked for ten seconds before Benrey stopped in his tracks.</p><p>“Oh, hell yes.”</p><p>Gordon turned, following his line of sight to a Dance Dance Revolution machine. The step pads were flashing wildly as a child attempted to keep up with the beat but failed, the directions going by too fast for them to get every one.</p><p>“You actually wanna play that?” Gordon asked.</p><p>“Fuck yeah. DDR is my jam.” Benrey said, watching the kid get frustrated and give up, stomping past them to try another machine.</p><p>Benrey put a few tokens into the slot and stepped onto the platform, flipping through the list of songs until he found one he liked. A dance song Gordon had never heard before started to play, a fast paced tune with lots of bass filling his ears.</p><p>But when the prompts began to appear on the screen, Gordon wasn't expecting him to be so good.</p><p>Gordon watched as Benrey moved faster than he had ever seen, stomping and moving furiously as he hit every beat. His mouth hung wide open, in awe that Benrey was somehow so good at Dance Dance Revolution of all things.</p><p>“Holy shit, dude!” Gordon yelled, trying to talk over the music. He walked closer to him, standing beside the larger man as he watched the score grow higher and higher, “You're going ham!”</p><p>All of a sudden, Benrey threw his head back and <i>laughed</i>. Not a chuckle like Gordon heard so often, but a full on maniacal laughter that Gordon had only heard back at Black Mesa. His sharp teeth glistened as his crazed laughter mixed with the bumping music, echoing in the arcade for all to hear.</p><p>Gordon grinned, elated to see Benrey have so much fun. It made his heart do flips watching Benrey absolutely lose himself doing something.</p><p>Benrey looked down at Gordon for a moment and grinned, flashing his teeth at him. Gordon’s heart simultaneously felt like it stopped yet started beating even faster as he was caught under those eyes for just a moment, a moment that was too short but Gordon wanted to be in forever-</p><p>It was only when Benrey looked away and went back to his game that Gordon realized he no longer had a crush on Benrey.</p><p>Gordon had fallen hopelessly in love with him.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>——————</p>
</div>He should have known that it would happen.<p>Gordon always experienced things too strongly. He didn't really have “chill” emotions. His brain made whatever feelings he had double or triple in intensity than what was probably normal. It was one reason he would get so angry if he started getting stressed. His brain made the slightest anger start to boil over into rage territory that was hard to calm down from.</p><p>But he had never fallen in love this quickly before. Not even with his overpowering emotions had that ever happened before. Gordon hadn't even thought about the possibility of falling in love with the former guard when he really fucking should have. He hadn't prepared at all for that, but there he was, knocked right onto his ass with the realization of ‘Oh my god I actually love that asshole’.</p><p>But being in love with Benrey brought on a much more serious thought that pierced through the heavy cloud of emotions that coursed within him. Having a crush on his roommate was one thing. But being in love with them? That was a different story. It felt… Kind of fucked up of him to love Benrey while he was forced to be roommates with him. Yeah, Benrey was making bank streaming, but Gordon was sure it wasn't enough for him to get his own place. </p><p>Gordon felt like he was in a weird position of power over the other man. Even if they were friends, the apartment was in Gordon's name. Gordon bought most of the food, paid half the rent plus the utilities, paid for any repairs that needed to be done… He didn't feel like he was Benrey's landlord or anything, but what if he (god forbid) found out about Gordon's feelings? He’d feel trapped, no doubt, uncomfortable yet unable to leave. It made Gordon sick to think about. He never wanted Benrey to feel like he was stuck living with him, never wanted him to feel distressed or uncomfortable.</p><p>So Gordon started to distance himself from him like he should have long ago. He would turn down Benrey's requests to play games with him. He started hiding in his room again or staying out as late as he could, wandering around the city or sitting in a parking lot looking at his phone until it was time for him to go home and sleep. He took on more shifts, dealing with even more irate customers and disgusting books but it was fine because if it meant he wouldn't interact with Benrey then it was ok.</p><p>Eventually the weather started to change, the leaves beginning to turn red and orange as the summer heat died down. Gordon was going home after working a morning shift, parking his car outside of his apartment building and thinking to himself for a minute. He knew Benrey was home but he had overheard the man saying something about streaming last night, so he figured it would be safe to go in and relax in the living room for a bit. Get something to eat quietly, fuck around on his tv and then leave for a few hours.</p><p>Gordon went inside the large apartment building and ascended the stairs. But when he opened the door to his home, he wasn't expecting Benrey to be standing in the hallway, leaning up against the wall.</p><p>“Uh. Hey.” Gordon said, keys still in hand.</p><p>“Sup.”</p><p>“Just got off work…” Gordon trailed off, trying to think of something to say, “I’m gonna go- Go see a movie tonight. I just came home to grab my, uh, tickets. That I preordered.”</p><p>Benrey hadn't taken his eyes off of him the entire time, staring down at Gordon as he struggled to find a way out of the situation. Benrey was practically blocking the entire hallway, so he couldn't just walk past him without some serious squeezing. And he couldn't leave without his ‘tickets’ that he made up either… Maybe if he ducked under his arm-</p><p>“Can you just- Can you stop avoiding me?”</p><p>Gordon's thoughts were interrupted, making him look back up and focus on Benrey's face. His face was as blank as it normally was, but his voice wavered just a bit as he continued.</p><p>“I know you’re not watchin’ some movie. Just gonna fuckin’... Do whatever it is that you’ve been doing for weeks. Just-” He took his other hand out of his pocket and gestured vaguely, “Do I smell or somethin’? I mean, you smell, uh… Like garbage. Garbage Freeman with his garbage smell.”</p><p>“I don't smell-“</p><p>“But I- I don't understand why you're avoiding me cause I’m stinkin’ up your apartment. That's just my- My gamer musk. Can't handle my manly aura. Gotta leave the house all the time so you don't burn your uh… Nose hairs. Smellin’ the smell.”</p><p>“Benrey,” He pinched his brow, “I'm not avoiding you because you smell. No one- No one in this house smells. You smell fine.”</p><p>“But you’re avoiding me? Like, legit?”</p><p>Fuck. Did he let that slip? Shit shit shit.</p><p>“It’s… Kind of complicated, dude.” Gordon said, lowering his head so he could avoid eye contact.</p><p>He wasn’t expecting Benrey to lean down, getting his face much too close to his. Gordon backed up unconsciously, feeling his face start to heat up from the proximity.</p><p>“Why’s it so complicated? You uh… Got another friend I need to know about? Gotta show someone our matching, uh, cock rings? Wasn’t kiddin’. You had your dick out that one time so I know you’d do it but I mean… I’ll whip that shit out. Break the sound barrier. Get my hog out and go to town.”</p><p>“We don’t have- We never got cock rings, that never happened-”</p><p>“Fuckin’ just- Tell me, dude, what the fuck is up with you? Can’t just leave me hangin’ up to dry for weeks. Can’t… It’s not cool.”</p><p>Benrey snapped his mouth shut suddenly, putting a hand up to his mouth as he hissed. He could hear the light hum of his Sweet Voice echoing in his chest as Benrey attempted to hold it back. A few seconds later he stopped, pulling his hand away. His hand was covered in liquid Sweet Voice, staining his hand light green and a brownish red as the same liquid dripped from his mouth. He futilely attempted to rub it away, smearing even more liquid on his hand and arm.</p><p>Even with his face dripping with Sweet Voice, however, Benrey looked… Sad. Which was strange because Benrey never looked sad. Gordon had been sure Benrey had been upset a few times before underneath his emotionless facade he effortlessly displayed most of the time, but would play it off with some stupid quip or just annoy Gordon so much he would drop it. But now he swore he saw what looked like… Pensiveness? Melancholy? Either way, a wave of guilt began to wash over Gordon.</p><p>… But he still couldn’t tell him why he had been avoiding him. It wasn’t fair to Benrey that Gordon was avoiding him, but what the hell was he supposed to say? He couldn’t tell him ‘Yeah, sorry, I’ve been avoiding you because I’m desperately in love with you and don’t want you to feel weird since you live with me’. </p><p>Fuck. Gordon wished he hadn’t come inside. None of this would have been happening if he just went to Wendy’s or something and got a burger instead of wanting to eat leftovers. </p><p>But the prospect of being with Benrey again, finally talking to him after so long, finally interacting in some meaningful way, being near him- </p><p>Gordon couldn't help himself. Benrey made his resolve weaken when it came to him.</p><p>But still, what was he supposed to say? The truth was out, and Gordon really did not want to be caught in a lie somewhere down the road...</p><p>Well… Now that he thought about it, Gordon had always heard that the best lie was one that had a bit of truth mixed in.</p><p>“Sorry, man. I just… We’ve been getting pretty close these last few months and I just didn’t wanna fuck it all up. And then you end up stuck here with me since you can’t move out just yet.”</p><p>Benrey paused, furrowing his brows a bit in confusion.</p><p>“... Thats kinda dumb. ‘S not gonna happen. Chill out.”</p><p>Gordon let out a small sigh, “But what if it does? I- I don't want to have to deal with the fallout of that-“</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>Something warm touched his arm. It was Benrey's hand, having leaned in a bit again to do so. He was hyper focused on the feeling of his large hand on his arm as Benrey continued.</p><p>“Chill. You’d have to do somethin’... Pretty fucked up for us to not be friends. Don't worry so much... Loser idiot brain makin’ you think thoughts you shouldn't. Let loose a lil’.”</p><p>… Holy shit. Was Benrey trying to make him feel better? It always seemed like he had the emotional depth of a potato, but fuck if he wasn't trying. Even if it involved insulting his brain. A warm feeling spread through his body at the realization. </p><p>Benrey didn't know the real reason he had been avoiding him, and it would stay that way. But hearing him attempt to comfort him, hearing him say that they would be friends no matter what… It really did make Gordon feel better in a way.</p><p>A part of him still thought it was best to avoid Benrey, but… He needed to account for Benrey's feelings too. Gordon couldn't just avoid him forever, and it obviously made Benrey feel bad. He would just have to make sure Benrey never found out. It’d hurt, knowing he would never return his feelings, but Gordon could live with that.</p><p>Well, he could live with it painfully, at least. But if it meant still being friends with him then it was worth it.</p><p>“... Thanks, man. That makes me feel kinda better.”</p><p>“Yeah. No problem.”</p><p>Benrey didn't let go of his arm immediately. His hand lingered for a few moments too long, unmoving.</p><p>...</p><p>Until he finally released his arm, taking away sweet warmth that Gordon didn't realize he missed until it was gone.</p><p>“Wanna get some food?” Benrey said, scratching his stomach through his shirt, “‘M starving.”</p><p>“Yeah,” He replied, “I got some Pizza Hut coupons that are gonna expire soon, anyway.”</p><p>Later, while he and Benrey ate their pizza on the couch, Gordon texted Tommy. He typed with one finger, trying not to cover his phone in grease.</p><p>
  <i>‘Hey, what does green and brown mean? Benrey tried holding in his sweet voice earlier’</i>
</p><p>Tommy replied back in no time.</p><p>
  <i>‘can you be more descriptive? or do you have a picture?’</i>
</p><p>Gordon's eyes flickered over to Benrey's hand. It was still stained somewhat from earlier, but most had been washed away in the sink. He looked back down to his phone.</p><p>
  <i>‘Uh, it was a really light and bright green. And the brown was kinda red? Like clay or something’</i>
</p><p>Benrey was scarfing down his fourth slice as Tommy sent him one message after the other.</p><p>
  <i>‘oh that sounds like mint and rust!!!’</i>
</p><p>
  <i>‘mint to rust means i miss you lots :)’</i>
</p><p>… A wide grin went across Gordon's face as butterflies filled his stomach. Out of the corner of his eye Benrey licked the grease off his fingers and began to peer at what was on his screen.</p><p>“Whatcha lookin’ at?”</p><p>Gordon clicked the power button, turning the screen off as he smiled up at Benrey.</p><p>“Nothing. Nothing at all.”</p><p>Benrey shrugged and muttered, “Alright.” before turning his attention to the controller on the coffee table and turning on the playstation. </p><p>Later that night, when Gordon was alone in his room and the only thing that accompanied him was his thoughts, he imagined what it would have been like to kiss Benrey's Sweet Voice off of his face as he smiled to himself under the sheets.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>——————</p>
</div>The following day showed Gordon that when life seemed ok for a moment it would always find a way to violently rip those moments apart.<p>Gordon went stumbling into his house at the end of his evening shift, shaky hands locking the door behind him. It was dark inside, with the only sounds to be heard coming from Benrey's room. He was probably playing on his psp or something. Who knew when he would be done with that. Once he started a game it was hard to focus his attention on anything else till he was finished.</p><p>That was good, though. He didn’t want Benrey to see him right now, anyway.</p><p>He threw his shoes and jacket off haphazardly, tossing them on the floor near the door before going into the kitchen. He dug through the fridge and was disappointed to see there was no alcohol. Not that he was surprised; he and Benrey weren’t drinkers at all. But a small part of his brain hoped that Benrey had hidden some beer at the back of the fridge without telling him.</p><p>He settled for a can of soda and went to his room, sitting his drink down on the bedside counter and laying down on the bed. His bed creaked as he shifted, trying to get comfortable. God, he needed a new bed. He needed a new couch, too. A new shower knob, a new pair of shoes, a new dryer. There were a lot of things he needed that he either couldn't afford or couldn't justify the cost.</p><p>But what he really needed at the moment was a fucking drink. Which he didn't have. He didn't trust himself to drive and get one, anyway. It was all he could do to drive to his house. He’d probably crash the car from how hard his hands were shaking if he went to the store.</p><p>Gordon stared up at the ceiling, trying to focus on anything but his thoughts, anything besides his rapidly beating heart. His chest hurt from anxiety because he couldn’t stop thinking, couldn’t stop his brain from forming thoughts, they just wouldn't fucking <i>stop-</i></p><p>“Uh. You good?”</p><p>Gordon lifted his head up. Benrey was standing at the entrance of his room holding an empty glass, observing him with a somewhat uneasy face.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine.” He said as he took a shaky breath, “Can you close the door behind you, please? Why’d you even open it in the first place?”</p><p>“I didn’t. You were makin’ these… Weird noises. And I came over here and it was open.”</p><p>Oh. Wow, Gordon was a mess. He didn’t even close the door behind him. Way to go, Freeman. It must be obvious to everyone around him that he spent a large chunk of his life attending MIT.</p><p>“Fuck…” He whispered to himself. He waved to Benrey, trying to get him to go away, “I’m good, man. Just tired.”</p><p>Benrey stepped into his room, not flipping on the light as he made his way over to Gordon.</p><p>“Dude-”</p><p>“I’m not- I’m not stupid. You’re upset. What’s wrong?” Benrey said, sitting on the edge of his bed as it squeaked in protest, “Someone tell you, uh. You got bad breath? Got up in someone's face at work and killed ‘em in one blow? I don't-  Your breath doesn't smell bad. Smells like fuckin’... Good, yo.”</p><p>“No one told me I have bad breath, Benrey.”</p><p>“Need some Sweet Voice in your life, bro.” He continued, “Get Sweet Voice in your mouth and that shits gonna taste like-”</p><p>“I got fired.” Gordon interrupted.</p><p>Benrey stopped talking, snapping his mouth shut as Gordon continued.</p><p>“I fucking- My manager fired me at the end of my shift. He said that they need to downsize but I know they just want to hire someone cheaper than me.”</p><p>He tossed his glasses to the side, uncaring about where they landed as he brought his hands up to his face, “Just… What the fuck am I gonna do? I don’t- I can’t- I can’t get another job. No one else is hiring. I’ve been trying for fucking months cause I don’t wanna be stuck buying shitty books forever but- but no one wants to hire me, the guy with a PhD, and I don’t- I don’t fucking know why, man-” </p><p>He could feel himself start to sweat as he thought about it more. He lost his job, and he only had so much in savings, so he was going to lose his fucking house. He was going to be homeless, and so was Benrey, and there was nothing he could do because no one wanted to hire him and it was all his fucking fault-</p><p>Gordon could feel himself start to choke up as he said, “I can't fucking handle this shit- I don't- Fuck-“</p><p>“Dude, hey, sit up- C’mon-“ Benrey leaned over him and wiggled a hand under his back, pulling him up into a sitting position. But just as soon as he put his hand on him he pulled it away, making something in Gordon ache. Gordon wanted nothing more than for him to put it back. Put it back and tell him everything was going to be ok when it wasn't.</p><p>Benrey's face was full of concern as Gordon's eyes flickered up to him.</p><p>“Hey, hey- What do you- What do you want me to do? I’m not, uh. Good at these things. Tell me what you want me to do.”</p><p>Gordon felt so embarrassed, caught under Benrey's gaze. He never wanted the other man to see him like this; nearly about to cry, potentially on the cusp of a panic attack. He couldn't think clearly but was also thinking too much. He wanted nothing more than for everything to just stop, let time and space cease to exist just for a moment so he could calm down without his secret love seeing him like this.</p><p>But the second thing he wanted most was to feel safe in those strong arms.</p><p>“I need-“ Gordon whispered, voice cracking as he felt tears pool in his eyes, “I need a fucking hug, man.”</p><p>In what felt like an instant, Benrey pulled Gordon to him, wrapping his arms around him. He was so fucking <i>warm</i> yet Gordon was shaking in his arms, his muscles sending tremors through his body as Gordon put his hands up against his chest. The feeling of Benrey squeezing him tighter was what finally sent him over the edge.</p><p>He cried into the other man's chest, ugly sobs he had been holding back making wet stains on Benrey's shirt. It barely registered in his mind when Benrey started to rub his back, making small circles in an attempt to comfort him.</p><p>“Hey,” Benrey whispered softly to him, “Let it all out. It's ok. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”</p><p>Gordon gripped onto his shirt harder at the words, pulling him closer unconsciously in an attempt to close the space between them. Benrey continued to whisper to him but he was unable to hear him over his own tears.</p><p>Gordon cried for a long time in the darkness. Benrey's eyes illuminated the top of Gordon’s head as he smeared snot onto his own face and Benrey's shirt. Slowly, after what felt like an eternity, his tears diminished to soft whimpers, breathing heavily against the other man as he tried to calm down. He was still shaking, body trembling as he pulled his face away. His face was hot with fresh tears and sticky with mucus. He tried to wipe it away with an arm, only succeeding in smearing it further in his facial hair with a grimace. </p><p>Benrey was looking down at him unblinkingly. Gordon suddenly felt very warm at the realization that Benrey had just hugged him for who knows how long while he cried. He obviously was aware that it was happening but… He didn’t really think about it too much. He just desperately needed the comfort in that moment. And now that the moment was over… Well, to say he was embarrassed was an understatement. He just wanted to crawl in a hole and die, honestly. He kind of forced Benrey to comfort him. Even if they were friends, he just broke down in front of the guy. It's not like he could say no-</p><p>Suddenly, Gordon was pushed down gently onto the bed. Before he could say or do anything Benrey joined him, pulling him close as he cuddled the smaller man.</p><p>Uh.</p><p>“Uh.”</p><p>“Can’t sit up like that anymore. ‘S kinda awkward.” Benrey said. Gordon could feel his chest vibrate at the words.</p><p>Did Gordon die? Was he dead and secretly in heaven? Or perhaps this was some sort of dying hallucination he was having back in Black Mesa and he was actually bleeding out on the cold concrete flooring because holy shit Benrey was fucking cuddling him on his bed. And he had been the one to initiate it, too.</p><p>“You feelin’ better, though? You- You got snot all over me. ‘M like a living tissue over here. Fuckin’ like uhhh…” Benrey smacked his lips, “Eel. Slimy lil’ eel.”</p><p>“... Are eels even slimy?” Gordon asked, trying not to focus too hard on Benrey's arm that was around his torso, “I mean, they live underwater. They’d just feel wet if you touched them.”</p><p>Benrey shrugged with one shoulder. They laid in silence for a while, the only sound to be heard being the bed creaking when one of them shifted and other ambient noises. Gordon felt himself growing more and more exhausted the longer he was cuddled up against Benrey. He usually hated cuddling. It got too hot too quickly and he could never get comfortable against the other person, but with Benrey it was like laying against a soft, warm cloud. One that smelled a bit like stale french fries, but still. It was nice.</p><p>“Thanks, man.” Gordon whispered into Benrey's chest.</p><p>“Huh? Wuh- For what?”</p><p>Ah. He had said that out loud, didn’t he? Well, no turning back, he supposed.</p><p>“For uh… Being there for me, y'know? Means a lot to me.”</p><p>“Oh.” Benrey said. It was silent for a little bit before Benrey replied, “I mean, ‘s no big deal. Gotta make sure my best- my bestest bro feels good. Can’t have him all depressed and shit.”</p><p>Gordon smiled to himself, eyes lidded heavily as he grew even more tired.</p><p>“Well, still. Thank you.”</p><p>“... No problem, man.” Benrey muttered.</p><p>As Gordon closed his eyes, he swore he felt Benrey pull him ever so slightly closer against himself.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>——————</p>
</div>The first thing Gordon noticed when he woke up was sunlight filtering through his blinds, illuminating him and his room with soft mid morning light.<p>The next thing he noticed was the heavy arm draped over him.</p><p>Gordon's eyes snapped open, now wide awake as his mind immediately remembered what happened the night before. Had Benrey really not left after Gordon fell asleep? Did he fall asleep soon after Gordon did and that's why he was still there? Did he even <i>need</i> sleep?</p><p>Gordon was very glad he was facing away from Benrey because his face was bright red as he attempted to wriggle out from under Benrey's arm. He heard Benrey make a low and short noise deep in his chest. Whether it was because he just woke up or had noticed Gordon's struggle under his arm he didn’t know.</p><p>“Oh. You're up.” Benrey muttered.</p><p>Gordon paused, lying still as Benrey moved his arm off of him.</p><p>“Yeah.” He said, “I'm up.”</p><p>“Cool. That's cool…”</p><p>Gordon stayed on his side, not wanting to face Benrey. The hell was he supposed to say in a situation like this?</p><p>Thankfully, Benrey was the one who filled the awkward silence.</p><p>“So… Coomer called earlier.”</p><p>“Really?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Benrey shifted, reaching over to Gordons night stand and grabbing his phone. He dropped it in front of Gordon's face, “Said somethin’ about a wild party tonight.”</p><p>“Oh. What did you say?”</p><p>“Said we’d go. Don't wanna miss out on it.”</p><p>Gordon sighed. He did want to go, but Benrey should have woken him up before answering for the two of them. If anything he should be out trying to find another job instead of hanging out with everyone… Oh well. He’d just have to do that tomorrow. He could just pretend his life was ok for the time being, he supposed-</p><p>Wait a second. Did Benrey really…?</p><p>“Hold on. You woke up earlier but didn’t get out of bed? Where even was my phone at?”</p><p>“Uh. Your jacket pocket. Duh.”</p><p>Benrey pointed to his jacket that was draped across his computer chair. Did he really leave it right there last night? Damn, he really must’ve been out of it if he couldn’t hear his phone from five feet away. But, still. That meant that Benrey got up, answered the phone, then <i>chose</i> to lay back down beside him. The thought made Gordon's stomach twist with anxiety and something more. He had to be overthinking it. He had to be.</p><p>“So you just… A- Answered the phone and got back in bed? Why?” He stuttered.</p><p>“Cause I was tired, dude. ‘S not that deep. Don’t make it weird, haha.”</p><p>Ah. So he was overthinking it. Benrey had just been tired and laid down in the first bed he saw. That’s… That’s good. He was glad he got a decent amount of rest. In his bed. While he cuddled up to him. He just grabbed him in his sleep or something. It’s fine, Gordon. Why did he even ask in the first place? It was stupid to even think about.</p><p>He sat up, stretching his arms and legs and groaning. Damn, he actually fell asleep in his clothes. He hadn't done that since he was a child. He must have <i>really</i> been out of it the night before.</p><p>He looked over to Benrey at his side. He was peering up at him, having taken off his beanie at some point. Gordon stared at him for what was definitely too long, as Benrey raised a brow at him in mild confusion.</p><p>“Whats up?” Benrey asked him.</p><p>“Nothing.” He said, “Just… Never seen your hair before.”</p><p>Benrey's hair was short and black, the scraggly strands chaotically bunching up underneath his head. Gordon would have expected it to be longer, honestly, but… It was nice. It suited him. He wanted to put his fingers through his hair and see exactly how soft it was.</p><p>Wait, no Gordon, disengage. Look away. Don’t make it weird. </p><p>He got out of bed and opened his blinds, shining light directly onto Benrey's face. Benrey hissed, covering his eyes and curling up like a pill bug on his bed.</p><p>“Fuck- Gotta- Gotta warn someone before you try and blind ‘em.” Benrey groaned.</p><p>Gordon rolled his eyes and began to walk away. He really needed to take a shower if they were going to go to a party later.</p><p>He opened the bedroom door and looked behind him. Benrey was rubbing his face, trying to get the harsh light out of his eyes.</p><p>“Get up, dude. Gotta do some shit before we leave today.”</p><p>Gordon left the room and went into the bathroom. He stood in front of the mirror, thinking about how cute Benrey looked on his bed as the shower ran. He wasn't sure if the blush on his face was from the steam or from his own dirty mind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>pregnancy mention in here. if you want to skip when they start talking about condoms press CRTL + F and then search "stand up". you will be safe then</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Gordon heard that Dr. Coomer and Bubby were having a wild party, he wasn’t expecting that so... literally.</p><p>The last time Coomer invited them to a party it was just the Science Team and Benrey playing board games and watching tv. It was fun, even if the board game portion was interrupted by Bubby physically ripping the Monopoly board in half and setting it on fire.</p><p>But… There was an absurd amount of people at their house, currently. He didn't know that their house could fit that many people.</p><p>The music was blasting, the heavy bass making it feel like Gordon's entire body was vibrating with the beat. There were people absolutely everywhere, the constant chatter and cheers echoing in his brain.</p><p>“Holy shit.” Benrey said beside him in front of the door.</p><p>“Yeah,” Gordon replied, talking much louder than he normally would to be heard, “Holy shit.”</p><p>Dr. Coomer came bounding out from the sea of people then, his friendly face plastered with a wide grin as he looked at his former coworkers.</p><p>“Hello, Gordon! Hello, Benrey! Welcome to our home!”</p><p>“Uh, hey Dr. Coomer!” Gordon yelled, trying to talk over a particularly loud string of lyrics, “You got a lot of people here, huh?”</p><p>“Yes! These are some of our coworkers from the lab! Myself and Bubby thought it would be perfect to invite all of them over. The more the merrier, as I always say!”</p><p>Someone walked up to Dr. Coomer and tapped him on the shoulder, saying something to him that Gordon couldn't hear.</p><p>“Ah, it seems I have to go for now, Gordon. A fun game of macaroni pong has been set up in the basement, and I can’t miss that for the world!”</p><p>Before he could ask what the hell macaroni pong was Dr. Coomer and the stranger walked away through the crowd of people, leaving Benrey and Gordon alone.</p><p>“... ‘M gonna go play macaroni pong.” Benrey said, walking after Dr. Coomer, upper body visible in the crowd as he made his way through the party goers.</p><p>In an instant Gordon was alone. He was left to stand awkwardly in front of the door, watching strangers talk and laugh over the too loud music.</p><p>… He should probably find Tommy. He hadn't seen him in a while.</p><p>Thankfully, Gordon found him in the kitchen pouring himself some punch. They talked for a long while, eating nachos and other snack items laid out on the counter. Gordon was having fun just hanging out with Tommy, save for the gigantic crowd of people and music. It made him wish that they all could go on some sort of vacation with the rest of the crew to get more quality time together. Having a full time job and having to work around everyone elses schedule fucking sucked.</p><p>Eventually, however, Tommy wandered off. He wanted to call his dog and check up on her, leaving Gordon with a wave and the last bowl of chips. He popped one in his mouth and leaned against the kitchen counter, wondering what he should do. He was never one for big crowds, even if the kitchen had only a few people in it at the moment. He could go try and find Bubby or Benrey-</p><p>A man he never met appeared beside him and pointed to the nachos in his hand, “You mind if I have some?”</p><p>“Oh, sure.”</p><p>Gordon handed the man a few of his chips, which the man greedily put into his mouth. He wiped the grease of the mouth with the back of his hand and smiled.</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>“No problem.”</p><p>The stranger moved, leaning up against the counter alongside Gordon. A bit too closely, if you asked him. Gordon moved a few inches to the side, trying to get some space between the two of them.</p><p>“So, what's your name?” The man asked him.</p><p>“Gordon.” He said, picking up and taking a sip of his drink, “You?”</p><p>“Dave.”</p><p>Dave smiled, tapping his fingers up against the counter twice, “I’ve never seen you at work before. Are you new?”</p><p>God, he was not going to explain how he met Coomer and Bubby in Black Mesa. Way too much information for a random stranger to know.</p><p>“Uh… No. I don't work there. Coomer and Bubby and I have just been friends for a while.”</p><p>Dave nodded, “Oh, cool. That's cool.”</p><p>Gordon took another sip of his drink as he nodded along.</p><p>“Although, I wouldn't mind having someone as cute as you being a coworker of mine.” Dave said casually.</p><p>Gordon almost did a spit take at the words. He choked on his punch, coughing a few times before he was able to speak.</p><p>“E- Excuse me?” He said. </p><p>“Oh, sorry,” Dave grinned sheepishly. But his eyes did not match his face as he continued, “Did I say that out loud?”</p><p>Gordon felt a small blush creep onto his face from the attention. This random stranger was just… Hitting on him out of nowhere. <i>Openly</i>. Something like that had never happened to him before. But… He wasn't interested for multiple reasons. The main one being that he was in love with a man playing macaroni pong in the basement. </p><p>“Sorry man, I’m not…” He made a vague hand gesture, “Interested right now.”</p><p>Dave made something of a sad face at Gordon's words, but moved ever so slightly closer to him.</p><p>“Aw, you sure? You just met me. Maybe if you got to know me you’d change your mind.”</p><p>Oh. Ok. So this guy was a weirdo. Good to know. Gordon needed to disengage from the situation before it got weirder.</p><p>“Dude, I'm not into you. Leave me alone.”</p><p>Gordon sat down his nachos and started to walk away, but was stopped by Dave grabbing his arm.</p><p>He turned around just in time to see a much larger hand grab Dave's arm as well.</p><p>Dave's eyes widened as he hissed, immediately dropping Gordon's arm as Benrey glared down at him.</p><p>“You messin’ with my bro, bro?” Benrey said.</p><p>Dave tried to jerk his arm out of his grip but failed miserably, not moving Benrey in the slightest. Gordon could see a faint glimmer of fear in his eyes as he shook his head.</p><p>“Good. Get the fuck out.”</p><p>Benrey dropped his arm, allowing Dave to speed walk away out of the kitchen without looking back. Once he was out of sight Gordon let out a sigh of relief and looked up at Benrey.</p><p>“Thanks. That guy was kind of a creep.”</p><p>Benrey didn’t respond. Gordon wouldn't have minded but Benrey was looking at him… Weird. It was a look he hadn't seen before in his eyes. He felt pinned under them, but he never wanted to leave. </p><p>Gordon could barely hear the music as Benrey took a step closer-</p><p>“The hell are you doing up here, Benrey?” Bubby said, coming out of nowhere, “You're not getting off my team that easily.”</p><p>Gordon jumped, ripped out of the moment and sent bounding backward a bit from the shock. Fuck, was his face red? It felt red.</p><p>If Bubby noticed, he didn't say anything. He didn't even look in Gordon's direction as he continued, “Get the hell down there. I am <i>not</i> losing to Patrick’s intern again because someone decided to fuck off.”</p><p>“Sorry. Saw someone harassing my bro.” Benrey said, taking his eyes off Gordon to face Bubby.</p><p>“Yeah, do you know someone called Dave?” Gordon asked the older man.</p><p>Bubby raised a brow, “What? Someone was harassing you?”</p><p>“Yeah. It was real fucking weird…”</p><p>Gordon explained what happened, watching Bubby’s face get more and more angry the longer he went on. Bubby told him he had never met anyone at the lab with that name, so the only possibility was that he came uninvited once he saw the large party. Bubby then went down to talk to Dr. Coomer about it. When they came back up he wasn't expecting them to shut down the party. Coomer said something about ‘the safety of his friends being more important’ as they watched his coworkers begin to leave. </p><p>Once everyone else had left, Gordon and Benrey almost made to leave themselves but were stopped by Coomer. Him and Bubby wanted them and Tommy to stay behind and hang out for a little while. Unfortunately Tommy left, saying something about how his party days at college had long been over and he needed a good night's rest.</p><p>The four of them had fun, still. They watched a movie that Dr. Coomer said he had been dying to see and played on their super nintendo after it was done. Coomer was good at Super Punch Out as was to be expected, but Gordon was surprised to see how damn good Bubby was at Tetris. He didn't know blocks could spin that fast.</p><p>After a few rounds of Tetris, Bubby turned off the game system and faced Gordon and Benrey on the couch.</p><p>“Ok, party’s over. You have to go now.”</p><p>“Damn, really?” Gordon looked at the clock on the wall, “It's not even one yet… We’ve definitely stayed here later before. Is something up?”</p><p>“Oh, dear Bubby is just really into Jeopardy right now!” Dr. Coomer waved his hand, “We can't mess up our sleep schedule too badly or else we might miss it!”</p><p>“If I fall asleep before Jeopardy tomorrow I will fucking lose it.” Bubby said.</p><p>Well, Gordon couldn't argue with that. He would rather not have an angry Bubby try to kill him over a tv show so he and Benrey left, watching the lights inside the house turn off one by one as they went to Gordon's car.</p><p>When they got to his car parked on the side of the road, Gordon stopped.</p><p>“Why the fuck does my tire look flat?”</p><p>Benrey paused, closing the passenger door and stepping around the car to where Gordon was. He nudged the deflated tire with his shoe.</p><p>“Cause it's flat.”</p><p>“I can see that, Benrey. I can fucking tell it doesn’t have air in it. I just want to know how.”</p><p>“Uh… We could’ve run over a nail, I guess.”</p><p>“I don't see a nail sticking out-“ Gordon stopped, his mind attempting to fill in the blanks and coming up with a disturbing answer, “Wait. Hold up. You think- You think it could have been that Dave guy? You think he could have slashed one of my tires?”</p><p>“Huh? Wuh- No. No way. How’d he even know which car was yours?” Benrey said, “Probably just fuckin’... Ran over somethin’.”</p><p>Gordon sighed, “I guess…”</p><p>He pulled out his wallet and found his Triple A card, then got his phone out-</p><p>“Are you fucking kidding me?”</p><p>He held down the power button, watching the screen light up for only a second before turning back off.</p><p>“God fucking- Christ, great time for my phone to die. Can I use your phone for a minute?”</p><p>Benrey dug through his sweatpants pocket and pulled his phone out. Gordon called the number on the card and told the nice mechanic his issue. The man on the line told him he would send someone out there as soon as possible, but it could take around twenty minutes for him to drive all the way out there. Gordon thanked him and hung up, handing the phone back to Benrey.</p><p>He groaned to himself. First he got fired, and now he had a flat tire. Great. His life was going really fucking great right now.</p><p>He leaned up against the driver door with his head in his hands. </p><p>“Hey… Relax, man. They’ll get here soon.” Benrey told him, “It's just a lil’ flat tire. You’re good. Don't stress about it.”</p><p>“It’s really- It’s really fucking hard not to stress about it, Benrey.”</p><p>Benrey was quiet for a moment, watching him before saying, “At least stand over here. So you don't, uh… Get hit or somethin’. When the guy gets here.”</p><p>He had a point. It was pretty fucking dark outside. Gordon stepped over to the passenger side and leaned against the door next to Benrey. They sat in silence for a long time, watching the wind rustle the bushes and trees in front of them. If his phone was charged he would just play sudoku or something and not stare into the woods like a weirdo. But it wasn't, which was kind of the whole reason he was bored. And he wasn't about to use Benrey's phone in case they really needed it for something.</p><p>That, and Benrey was being kind of weird and not responding to any of his attempts to start a conversation. He’d try and bring up something, anything that came across his mind that he thought Benrey might be interested in or at least make a dumb joke about but he wouldn’t even look at him. He’d just stare off into the woods in front of them and not do anything. It made Gordon nervous, like he had somehow done something wrong, but knew he was overthinking it. Benrey was… Just in a mood, he guessed.</p><p>Gordon kicked his foot back and forth, feeling the cool autumn air attempt to bite through his jeans. </p><p>“So damn bored,” He mumbled to himself.</p><p>Benrey turned his head to him for the first time since they started waiting outside.</p><p>“How bored are you?”</p><p>“Like, mind numbing.” He said, “My brain is turning to mush the longer we stand here.”</p><p>Benrey hummed to himself, his voice resonating in his chest.</p><p>“Damn, if you’re so bored, I mean... My mouth is right here, bro.”</p><p>Gordon blinked and looked very slowly at the taller man beside him. Had he heard that right?</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“Th- There's some bushes right there, man.” Benrey pointed to the woods a few feet away from them, “No one would see anything if you’re worried about looking gay, gay boy.”</p><p>Gordon felt his face start to go red at the thought, but crossed his arms.</p><p>“Ha ha, real funny, dude.” He said.</p><p>He turned his head to face Benrey, expecting to see him smiling or attempt to make another dumb joke.</p><p>But instead Benrey looked deathly serious. More serious than he had ever seen him.</p><p>Holy shit.</p><p>“Uh… You <i>are</i> joking, right?” Gordon said, feeling a chill run through his body. He wasn’t sure if it was the cold or something else.</p><p>“Do you want me to be?” Benrey asked, not taking his eyes away from Gordon's as the serious glint in them remained.</p><p>… Holy fuck. Holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck-</p><p>“A- Are…” He stammered, his entire body beginning to vibrate with energy because holy shit, “Are you trying to flirt with me or something? Like, for real?”</p><p>“I have been for months now but thanks for- Uh, noticing just now.” Benrey deadpanned.</p><p>Gordon was glad it was dark out, because his face was bright red.</p><p>“... Oh.”</p><p>Benrey stopped looking at him, beginning to tap against the side of Gordon's car as the silence between them grew. It was Benrey who spoke first after a tense few minutes.</p><p>“Sorry if that... Uh. Made you uncomfortable. I’ll stop.”</p><p>Gordon's heart rate had been rapidly rising the entire time because holy shit Benrey had apparently been fucking flirting with him and he was oblivious the entire time, and when- How long exactly, when exactly did he start? And Benrey was apparently fucking serious about sucking his dick and it was just repeating in his mind like a broken record because he couldn’t believe that he wasn't joking-</p><p>But hearing Benrey say he would stop, say he would quit flirting with him if he wanted- It made his heart painfully skip a beat. </p><p>“No!” He said without thinking.</p><p>Benrey’s head shot over to him, confusion overtaking his face.</p><p>“... Huh?”</p><p>God, Gordon was in so deep. What the fuck was he doing?</p><p>“Uh... Don’t stop. Please.”</p><p>“... You serious?” Benrey said, barely above a whisper, “Like, for real…?”</p><p>Gordon could play it off as a joke. Benrey made jokes (or what he thought was jokes) all the time. He could just say, “Of course I’m kidding, what the hell?” and Benrey would probably say something stupid in response and they would both try and forget that Gordon didn’t just say what he did.</p><p>But Gordon didn’t want him to stop. He never wanted him to stop.</p><p>“... Yeah. I- I’m serious, man.”</p><p>Benrey held eye contact for a few more seconds, then looked down at his shoes.</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>Gordon nodded, even though he knew the other man didn’t see him do it.</p><p>Gordon heard an owl somewhere off in the distance, and a chilly bout of wind made him shiver. Five minutes earlier, he would have been wondering where Triple A was.</p><p>But now.... Well. He could wait for a little bit. He desperately wanted to hear Benrey talk more. He wanted to- No, needed to hear Benrey continue. He could feel himself getting aroused as he nervously opened his mouth again.</p><p>“If- if we, uh. Went over there,” Gordon gestured to the woods, “What… what would you do?”</p><p>Benrey didn’t respond immediately. It was another long bout of silence until Benrey responded, talking over the low whistle of the wind blowing against them.</p><p>“You really wanna know?”</p><p>Gordon gave a small nod.</p><p>“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”</p><p>“Look at me, man.” Benrey said, “Look at me and say that.”</p><p>Gordon looked up at the man beside him. His face was bright red, which he didn’t even know was a color he could make from how emotionless he usually looked. </p><p>For an eldritch being, he looked very human at the moment.</p><p>“I wanna hear what would happen. Uh, please.”</p><p>The wind seemed to stop suddenly. The air around them was deathly still as Benrey pinned him up against the car with just his eyes.</p><p>… </p><p>Benrey averted his gaze after the longest seconds of Gordon's life.</p><p>“Ok.” He said simply.</p><p>It was unnaturally quiet outside as he started, “I’d take you pretty far back. Like, where no one could see us. Cause that’d be lame, y’know.”</p><p>Gordon found he wasn’t able to speak because holy <i>shit</i> this was actually happening-</p><p>“And then we’d find some tree out there. That you could, uh, stand against.”</p><p>Benrey shifted in place, starting to tap against the car again.</p><p>“And once we did, I’d get down on my knees. Probably end up stabbing myself on a branch or something but I’m kinda dedicated at this point. And I’d try unbuckling your pants but you have a belt on I think so- So I’d have trouble. Getting them off.”</p><p>Gordon found himself able to speak at that.</p><p>“I’d- I’d help you out.” He blurted out.</p><p>He heard Benrey mutter “Holy shit.” under his breath beside him. </p><p>“... Ok. You’d help me out. And then I’d. Uh… Suck your dick, man.”</p><p>Gordon was tempted to comment that his dirty talk was atrocious, but held his tongue. That and blood was still rushing to his dick, regardless.</p><p>“... I see.” He said simply, his brain unsure how to respond after that.</p><p>Gordon and Benrey didn’t move for a long time. The chilly air bit against his flushed face as he stood next to the other man. His mind was rushing at the words amid the deafening silence between the two-</p><p>Something warm touched his arm.</p><p>He looked over, seeing Benrey closer than he had been, lightly grabbing his arm like he was scared Gordon would break if he did it any harder.</p><p>“Hey.” Benrey said.</p><p>“Hey.” He replied, mouth beginning to go dry. Benrey's hand was just as warm and comforting as he remembered it was even out in the cold.</p><p>Benrey looked away for a moment, seeming like he was trying to find the right words to say.</p><p>“I can’t- I don’t want to- Christ,” He rubbed his face for a moment in frustration, “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable cause I know how much of a shithead I am, but- I, uh. You wanna- uh, go do that?”</p><p>Benrey looked absolutely embarrassed, the visible parts of his face red under the moonlight. And fuck, if it wasn’t the most attractive thing Gordon had ever seen in his life.</p><p>Gordon slowly raised a hand to Benrey's face, feeling the soft skin and barely there stubble under his palm.</p><p>Gordon decided to throw all caution in the wind and say what was on his mind before he talked himself out of it.</p><p>“Only if you kiss me first.” He whispered.</p><p>Benrey only stared at him in response, like his mind was drawing an utter blank after Gordon’s rash decision to say what he did. Gordon pulled his hand away and averted his eyes. Why the hell did he even say that?</p><p>“... Sorry,” Gordon dropped his hand from his face, “That was-”</p><p>Benrey didn’t let him finish before he leaned down and kissed him.</p><p>Gordon was caught by surprise, feeling his lips kiss him so enthusiastically, but he tried his best to find a rhythm that could work. Benrey’s hands gripped his arms tighter as Gordon's own started to paw at Benrey's shoulders. Gordon couldn’t focus on anything else but the feeling of the larger man's warm body so close to him against the cold metal of his car.</p><p>They kissed for a while, eventually finding a rhythm that worked. It was quick and messy, with Gordon barely pulling away to breathe as their lips moved in unison. One of Benrey’s hands found its way into his hair, undoing his ponytail as he started to tangle his fingers through the long strands.</p><p>Gordon was tempted to try and find his lost hair tie, but only for a moment. He needed the other man closer to him more. He wrapped his arms around Benrey, trying to pull them together even further. Benrey sighed into their kiss, moving his hands to Gordon's sides and lifting him, putting a knee against the car for support. Gordon gasped, feeling his legs forced wide as Benrey slotted himself between them, trying to find some accommodation for their glaring size difference. Shit, he knew he was strong, but he just picked him up like he weighed fucking <i>nothing</i>. </p><p>A heady rush was filling Gordon's being, making him feel lightheaded as he pulled away from their increasingly passionate kiss to pepper Benrey's jaw with kisses of their own.</p><p>It was only when Gordon started to kiss his neck that Benrey fucking <i>growled</i> in his ear.</p><p>Gordon’s legs were forced even wider apart and holy fuck, that was <i>definitely</i> a boner he felt-</p><p>Benrey’s grip on him shifted, moving one of his hands away and sliding his knee up further so Gordon wouldn't fall, while his other arm snaked around his waist.</p><p>Gordon was so distracted by the sudden movement that he wasn't expecting it when the missing hand found its way to his hair and <i>pulled</i>.</p><p>He cried out in surprise and slight pain, feeling his head being tugged back. Benrey wasted no time, enveloping Gordon completely as he lowered his face to his neck. He opened his mouth, making Gordon let out a shaky breath he felt too sharp teeth start to trace his neck.</p><p>Benrey’s hot breath tickled his flesh, heightening the sensations of the razor sharp teeth dancing on his sensitive flesh. Benrey’s hand in his hair tightened and loosened while the other gripped him harder, digging his large fingers into his side.</p><p>It was all becoming too much. He hadn’t had any action in years, and fuck- he wanted it, he needed more-</p><p>“H- Holy shit, hah,” He panted, “Benrey-”</p><p>He let out an embarrassing moan when Benrey’s mouth closed around his neck and started to suck lightly.</p><p>He unconsciously scratched at Benrey’s back, writhing between the larger man and his car as he gave him a hickey. Benrey was careful not to pierce his flesh as he sucked, meticulously interchanging between teeth and tongue as a bruise began to form. </p><p>Gordon groaned, turning his head more so he could get an even better angle-</p><p>A truck was approaching, its headlights illuminating them as it pulled up behind Gordon's car.</p><p>He pushed Benrey away as hard as he could, causing Benrey to drop him on his feet. He adjusted his crooked glasses and wiped his mouth and neck off as he heard a car door open and close. An older man approached him, hair greying around his temples and wrinkles lining his smiling face.</p><p>“You Gordon?” He asked, “I’m with Triple A. Which tire is flat?”</p><p>“Oh, uh-” He stammered, “It’s, uh, over here.”</p><p>He glanced at Benrey who was looking pointedly away from him, attempting to seem  nonchalant. He went around to the other side of the car and explained to the mechanic what happened. The older man looked at his tire for a minute before telling him that whatever happened pierced his sidewall so they would have to put a spare on it if he wanted to go home. Thankfully, Gordon had a spare tire in his trunk that came with the car. He got it out and watched the man dutifully take his flat tire off and replace it with the new one.</p><p>Ten minutes later, Gordon was waving goodbye to the Triple A mechanic. He put his old tire in his trunk and stepped around to see what Benrey was doing. He wasn’t surprised to see that he was sitting on the curb and looking at his phone.</p><p>He cleared his throat, causing Benrey to look up at him.</p><p>“You ready?”</p><p>Benrey nodded. They got into his car, silent as Gordon put his keys in the ignition and drove off.</p><p>Gordon could hear every bump and twig they hit as they went down road after road. It was making his anxiety rise, thinking about what the hell to say combined with the random sounds his car or the road would make. They were halfway home when he reached over to the radio, attempting to turn on a station when Benrey grabbed his hand.</p><p>“Don’t.” He said.</p><p>Gordon slowly removed his hand from his (calloused, but still inviting) grip.</p><p>“Why not?” He asked, not taking his eyes away from the road.</p><p>“If you do we won’t talk about what happened.”</p><p>Gordon's blush returned.</p><p>“... Oh.”</p><p>It was quiet for a moment before Gordon broke the awkward silence.</p><p>“So… That happened, huh?”</p><p>“Don’t fuckin’- I can’t do this beating around the bush shit anymore, bro.”</p><p>Gordon stopped at a stop sign at an intersection, allowing him to look at Benrey. He was staring at him, fingers rubbing his pants as he lightly bounced a leg nervously.</p><p>“I’m not gonna pretend that didn’t happen, man. I fucking-” He stopped, growling to himself as he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to gather his thoughts.</p><p>Gordon looked around, trying to see if there were any other cars around. It was pretty late at night so it wasn't surprising to him when he didn’t see any. He threw his car into park at the stop sign, paying full attention to Benrey.</p><p>Benrey opened his eyes, giving Gordon what was the most pleading look he had ever seen on him, “Just tell me, man. Do you want this? Do you- Do you want me?”</p><p>Gordon’s mouth started to open when Benrey interrupted what he was about to say.</p><p>“I’ve fucking- I know it seems like I don’t have feelings, but I do, I do, I have a emotion- And- I want you, so long now, bro-”</p><p>He reached over, touching his shoulder, “Dude, calm down-”</p><p>“And you just sit, being cute, and it’s hard- I don’t wanna ruin us by being me cause I’m fucking dumb and- And weird but fuck- I just- I can’t- What-”</p><p>Gordon unbuckled his seat belt and kissed Benrey on the lips.</p><p>Benrey stopped talking, eyes unblinking as Gordon kissed him again. Gordon pulled away once he was sure whatever train of thought he was on stopped.</p><p>“Just shut up, ok?” He said, “I… I want you too, dude.”</p><p>Gordon wasn’t sure if his face could get any redder, but it felt like it was trying to.</p><p>“And I’m not gonna just- just pretend nothing happened. I mean, I don’t know how you want all this to go or whatever but…” He rubbed Benrey’s shoulder, “I like you, Benrey. And… I want you.”</p><p>Benrey blinked slowly, watching Gordon like he was scared he was going to up and bolt before steadily relaxing, the muscles in his shoulder underneath his hand no longer clenching.</p><p>“... Oh.”</p><p>“... Yeah.”</p><p>They stared at each other for a few moments. Gordon could hear a lone cricket outside as Benrey leaned in closer. </p><p>“Can I…?” He asked, “I need- I need to-”</p><p>Gordon nodded, eyes flickering between the other man’s and his lips.</p><p>“Please do.” He whispered.</p><p>Benrey closed the distance between them, capturing his lips in a soft kiss. It wasn't as frenzied as the first kiss was, instead being so gentle and sweet Gordon felt like he was going to melt into his seat. It was quiet in the car save for the soft wet sounds of their kiss and Gordon's sighs as he leaned closer, putting a hand on Benrey's thigh-</p><p>A car had come up from behind them and honked as it passed, scaring the shit out of them, Gordon especially. He yanked himself away, grabbing his chest like his heart was about to explode.</p><p>He let out a shaky breath as he tried to collect himself. Benrey adjusted his beanie, pushing it down harder over his head.</p><p>“Uh… Let's just go home, ok?” He let out a nervous laugh, “We can, ah… Finish this there.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Benrey said, shifting in his seat, “Sounds good, bro.”</p><p>The silence the rest of the way home was awkward for a different reason. Gordon was anxious, wondering what would happen once they got back. That, and his dick was hard as a fucking rock in his jeans. Thankfully Benrey wouldn't be able to notice, but it was distracting as he tried to find his way back in the dark and pay attention to the little traffic they encountered.</p><p>Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Gordon pulled into their apartment parking lot. He and Benrey got out of the car, Benrey waiting behind him as he locked it with his key fob from the front entrance. </p><p>They went inside and up the few flights of stairs until they were at his apartment door. Gordon took his keys out again and opened the door, hanging them up on his key rack as he flipped on the hallway light and kicked his shoes off. Benrey closed the door and locked it behind them as he ripped his socks off and threw them where he put his shoes.</p><p>When he turned around, Benrey was hovering over him, unmoving as he stared down at Gordon.</p><p>“Hey,” He said nervously, “W- Whats up?”</p><p>Benrey slowly grabbed Gordon's arms with a delicacy he didn't think was possible.</p><p>“... Just really fuckin’ pretty, man.” He muttered.</p><p>Gordon looked away in embarrassment. When the hell had Benrey ever been this sweet? God, he felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. Maybe he would die before anything else happened at the rate he was going at.</p><p>“No, wait, don't do that... Look at me.”</p><p>Benrey lifted a hand up to his face, gently guiding his face back to him. Gordon found himself looking up into Benrey's eyes, observing how wide his pupils were underneath his beanie.</p><p>He was rubbing his face, feeling the rough texture of his facial hair under his thumb as he moved it back and forth. Gordon leaned into the touch, eyes growing lidded as he raised one of his own hands to touch the one on his face.</p><p>“That feels nice.” He said. “You do this often?”</p><p>“No.” Benrey replied, “Do you want me to?”</p><p>Gordon was still smiling as he nodded slowly.</p><p>“Kay,” Benrey breathed, “The, uh, contract is sealed then. Or something.”</p><p>Gordon snorted, “Oh my god, dude, just shut up. You're ruining the moment.”</p><p>Gordon decided to be spontaneous at that instant, standing on his tiptoes in an attempt to kiss Benrey quiet and not say anymore dumb bullshit. But he was too tall, so all he did was bring his face up between his chest. It wouldn't have worked anyway… He wasn't even sure why he tried. Benrey was what, seven foot even? Compared to his five foot three it would have been like climbing a mountain to reach his face. Which he kind of was, but still.</p><p>“... Well, that didn't work.” He said out loud.</p><p>“Whatcha doin’ down there?” Benrey grinned, “Trying to kiss me again or somethin’, gay boy? Huh?”</p><p>“Dude, you gave me a hickey, like, forty minutes ago. I think we’ve been well into gay territory for a while now.”</p><p>Benrey hummed, pausing in his face rubbing, “Guess you're right. Do you, uh… Want some help or somethin’?”</p><p>“Yeah.” He answered. “Get your ass down here. And don't make a joke about how I need a step stool or something-“</p><p>Benrey leaned down and kissed him, cutting Gordon off. He didn't mind, however, humming against Benrey's lips as he felt himself relax. He put his heels back down on the ground, feeling Benrey adjust himself further to kiss the shorter man at a comfortable angle.</p><p>Benrey's hand on his face shifted and began to play with his still undone hair. He curled a lock between his finger, rubbing the strands delicately.</p><p>“Soft.” Benrey said as he pulled away for a moment, “Nice n’ soft.”</p><p>“Thanks,” Gordon replied, rubbing his hands on Benrey’s arms, “I use Dove.”</p><p>Benrey hummed again, resuming their kiss at the words. Gordon wasn't sure how long they were standing there before Benrey's unoccupied hand found its way to his waist and pulled him closer. Gordon eagerly went with it, wrapping his arms around him as he attempted to deepen their increasingly messy kiss.</p><p>He stuck his tongue out a bit and licked at Benrey's lips, quietly asking for permission. He opened his mouth, allowing Gordon access. Gordon took the lead, feeling how slow and apprehensive Benrey was as they made out. Benrey tasted like the nachos he had eaten at the party. But Gordon didn't mind, taking his time to explore the inside of his mouth as Benrey let out small hums from the sensations.</p><p>Gordon put his hand on the back of Benrey's head, wanting to feel his hair but furrowing his brows when he remembered he was wearing a beanie. He didn't think as he ripped the beanie off and threw it to the ground, finally able to feel Benrey's hair on his fingers. It was as soft as it looked earlier that day, but kind of greasy. If Benrey noticed his hat was off he didn't say anything, content to continue their kiss without a word.</p><p>After a minute, Gordon pulled away, wiping the spit that was covering his mouth away.</p><p>“... That was nice.” He said, eyes going down to Benrey's own saliva covered lips.</p><p>“Yeah…” He agreed, “Sorry I kind of suck, I- I’ve never... Uh, done that.”</p><p>Gordon's brows raised, “Really?”</p><p>Benrey's eyes flickered away for a moment, a glint of embarrassment evident in them, “I haven't… I've never done-“</p><p>He gestured between the two of them, still looking away, “This.”</p><p>… Huh. Gordon never actually thought about that before. He supposed that he thought Benrey had fooled around before from how much he talked about sucking Gordon’s dick in the past.</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“I mean, uh. I did once, actually. A really long time ago. But I- I wasn't like this.”</p><p>“Oh?” Gordon said, tilting his head, “Ok, I’m… kind of confused by what you mean.”</p><p>“I wasn't human.” Benrey blurted out, “I was- Uh. I didn't look like this.”</p><p>… Oh.</p><p>
  <i>Oh.</i>
</p><p>“So… You don't actually look like this? Like, this isn't your ‘true form’ or some shit.”</p><p>Benrey was silent for a long moment.</p><p>“... Nah.” He mumbled.</p><p>Gordon shrugged against Benrey, “Ok. I can roll with that.”</p><p>“... Really?” He asked, finally looking back at Gordon.</p><p>“I mean, I didn't really think about it all too hard? But it makes sense, I guess. You do all this inhuman shit so much that it seems obvious in a way. And I mean, you can shapeshift, too…”</p><p>Gordon… Had never thought about what Benrey looked like. <i>Really</i> looked liked, apparently. He had just figured he looked like he did all the time. It's not like Benrey had said what exactly he was besides ‘not human’. But… It didn't bother him. It probably should, but Gordon was in love with the man, true form known or not. In for a penny, out for a pound, he supposed.</p><p>“So, yeah,” Gordon continued, “It’s cool. I’m cool with it.”</p><p>“...Cool. It's, uh,  easier to look like this. Takes less energy.” He said, “‘N I like this look. Having thumbs is epic.”</p><p>“It's pretty nice.” Gordon agreed.</p><p>Benrey nodded, starting to mess with his hair again.</p><p>“I just- I forget that humans can't do things sometimes. Never meant to try and scare you.”</p><p>Benrey stopped for a moment before smiling to himself, “... Well. Maybe a little bit. Look cute when you're freaked out.”</p><p>“I fucking knew it.” Gordon grumbled, “Glad all that nightmare fuel you gave me was just cause you like seeing me scared. You into that pred prey shit or something?”</p><p>Benrey’s smile fell. He didn't respond, just… looked at Gordon. Very intently.</p><p>It clicked for him after being under that intense gaze for a few seconds.</p><p>“... Oh. You- You’re actually into that.”</p><p>Benrey nodded.</p><p>“‘S not like I wanna eat you or somethin’. I just have, uh… Instincts. I don’t ever like… Let them get out of hand but- Seeing you so cute and…” He trailed off, gesturing to Gordon, “... Small. It- It does things to me. Yeah.”</p><p>Gordon… Well, he never thought about anything like that before. He’d done some kinky stuff before, but nothing like that.</p><p>But when it came to Benrey… It felt like he’d try anything. Within reason, of course, but still. If it was something that Benrey was really into, he could at least give it a shot.</p><p>… That, and thinking about being Benrey’s prey, whatever that entailed… Sounded incredibly hot.</p><p>(Wow, Gordon was more of a freak than he thought.)</p><p>“I mean… You wanna, uh, do that?”</p><p>Benrey blinked very, very slowly.</p><p>Gordon coughed, “Ah, the- y'know, prey shit? I’d… be willing to try it.”</p><p>“... Maybe in a bit. It’d mean I’d have to let you go.” Benrey said, leaning back into his face, “Don't wanna do that right now.”</p><p>Benrey kissed him again after that, but it was more frenzied than it was before, and Gordon groaned as he felt himself pushed up against the wall. Benrey took charge of their kiss, his enthusiasm making up for his inexperience. Their tongues danced as Gordon felt Benrey's hand in his hair start to scratch at his scalp. He moaned in the other man's mouth, feeling places he hadn't been kissed in in so long being so earnestly and meticulously caressed.</p><p>Benrey pulled his mouth away, kissing his jawline before making his way to one of his ears, pressing kisses to it as Gordon struggled to catch his breath.</p><p>“Fuck, dude, like this a lot- Like you-“</p><p>Benrey tugged at his hair, eliciting a low groan from Gordon. He started to whisper into his ear.</p><p>“Tell me- Say that again. Please.”</p><p>Gordon panted and rubbed his hands against Benrey’s chest, feeling his warm flesh beneath his hoodie as he was squished between the man and the wall.</p><p>“I, hah- I like you, man. So much.”</p><p>Benrey nibbled at his ear at the words, making Gordon feel electricity pour from his ear down into his neck.</p><p>“Again.” He asked.</p><p>“I fucking like you, I like you, Benrey-”</p><p>Benrey’s teeth went straight from his ear to his neck and bit <i>hard</i>.</p><p>He cried out, feeling the teeth begin to pierce his skin. It was so much, the pain and pleasure starting to make the heady rush he already had begin to overflow. He shook against the wall as Benrey removed his teeth, licking where the teeth had been just a moment ago. His tongue traveled from the small wounds, tasting the barely there amount of blood like it was fine wine. </p><p>“Ah! Hah- Shit, Benrey-”</p><p>“Tell me- Tell me if I go too far, Gordon.” Benrey said, voice low, “Don’t wanna hurt you. Never wanna hurt you. Ever again.” </p><p>Gordon’s heart pounded faster at the honest tone the former guard had. Hearing Benrey being so sweet, sounding so cautious as if he hadn’t just bitten him on the neck- Fuck, if Gordon wasn’t into either of those things right now. He was officially a fucking freak.</p><p>“Don’t stop then,” Gordon said, “Do that again. Please.”</p><p>Benrey fucking growled in his ear, latching his teeth onto his neck again, just barely piercing the skin so only the smallest of blood droplets would come out. Gordon moaned, trying to rub his dick against Benrey, attempting to get any friction he could as Benrey added more bite marks to his neck.</p><p>“Just wanna make you feel good-” Benrey muttered against his neck, “Gonna- I’m gonna be so good to you.”</p><p>Benrey shifted, removing his hand from Gordon’s waist to his ass and lifted him up the wall one handed, holy shit-</p><p>Benrey moved his head to the other side of his neck, beginning to give the previously unmarked skin a hickey of its own. Gordon attempted to wrap his legs around the larger man, trying to pull him in closer and closer, not wanting any space between the two of them.</p><p>Gordon looked up to the ceiling as Benrey started to nick at a strained tendon, breathing heavily as he traced the muscle with his teeth. </p><p>“Fuck, fuck, holy shit-“ He chanted, squirming against Benrey as he still desperately tried to rub his dick against him.</p><p>“God, can feel you fuckin’- just moving and shit. That feel good?”</p><p>“Yeah,” he breathed, “Yeah, feels great.”</p><p>Benrey hummed, sticking his tongue out to catch a trail of sweat that had found its way down his neck. Gordon shivered, a hot sensation going through his already overheated body from the feeling.</p><p>Gordon wasn't expecting Benrey to sit him down after that.</p><p>He looked up at him in confusion, about to ask him what was up, but the pure look of hunger Benrey was giving him made his mouth go dry.</p><p>“You really, uh- You actually wanna do some prey stuff? “ Benrey asked, “You sure?”</p><p>Gordon nodded, eyelids still heavy from the overstimulation he was put through earlier.</p><p>“You know I don’t wanna hurt you. I just- I can’t- can’t do it without you knowing that.”</p><p>“You already said that.” Gordon said.</p><p>“Just say it. Say you know I won’t hurt you. I don’t… Ever wanna do anything to hurt you.”</p><p>He moved his hands from Benrey's chest to his arms, “I know you would never want to hurt me, Benrey. Don’t worry, ok?”</p><p>Benrey was silent for a few moments, looking down at Gordon before he pulled away completely, the sweet warmth of his body being drawn away suddenly.</p><p>“Ok. Run.”</p><p>“...Huh?”</p><p>“Run.” Benrey stated, “I’m gonna give you a three minute headstart. ‘M kinda thirsty.”</p><p>“... Uh, what? Run where?”</p><p>“Those woods behind the apartments. You gonna start runnin’ or what? We, like, just agreed to try this out.”</p><p>“I’m… You just want me to leave and run? Seriously?”</p><p>“Yeah, bro. Just slip on those sandals by the door and get goin’.”</p><p>“... Uh, ok, I guess.” He turned around, putting on some cheap sandals before facing Benrey again, “You’re not, like, trying to kick me out of my house or something, are you?”</p><p>“Dude,” Benrey said, “I’m hard as a rock here. ‘M pretty damn serious.”</p><p>Gordon glanced down.</p><p>… Oh.</p><p>Yeah, that was a boner. A very, very obvious erection was poking against Benrey’s sweatpants. Gordon was surprised he hadn't noticed it before.</p><p>“... Ah.” He swallowed, “I see.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Benrey made a shooing motion toward the door, “So, uh… Bye.”</p><p>“Am I, uh, supposed to be role playing here or something?” He asked, tilting his head, “Like, am I supposed to act like I'm scared?”</p><p>Benrey blinked, eyes widening for a moment as a look of comprehension overcame his face.</p><p>“Oh, you need motivation. I gotcha…”</p><p>In an instant, the hallway light went out. Gordon jumped, not having expected to be thrown so suddenly into darkness. Benrey wasn't even near the switch, so how in the fuck…?</p><p>All at once, the darkness of his house was illuminated by eyes.</p><p>They unfurled everywhere around him, encompassing all of Gordon's vision and making his heart stop. They centered their slitted pupils at him, locking onto his small form simultaneously. They glowed so brightly, but he couldn't see anything other than them. Something warm feathered his chin, making his skin vibrate with an unholy energy where it hovered.</p><p>Benrey’s voice echoed through the room, making the walls vibrate with an unnatural tone he had never heard before.</p><p>“R U N.”</p><p>Gordon had never left his house faster in his life.</p><p>He ran down the stairs, bursting out of the apartment entrance door and running around to the back to flee into the woods. His cheap sandals dug between his toes as he ducked between trees and shrubs, trying his best to avoid tripping as he kept running and running and running. He was farther in the woods than he had ever been, not recognizing any of his surroundings but he just kept fucking going-</p><p>He slowed down, looking around. He <i>really</i> didn’t know where he was.</p><p>Shit. He was kind of screwed. How long had he been running? Did he run in a straight line? He didn’t think he did… </p><p>It was then that he realized just how unnaturally silent the forest was. The only sound to be heard was Gordon’s own heavy breathing as he turned from side to side. It was as if every animal was collectively frozen, holding their breath as they hid out of sight. The air hung heavy in the air, thrumming with a nervous energy as not a single breeze went by. It felt as though time had stopped and Gordon was caught in a loop, unknowing until just then.</p><p>A twig snapped in the distance. Gordon spun around and faced the noise.</p><p>In the distance among the tree line was a tall and dark shadow, unnaturally still. </p><p>Gordon froze, captured under the gaze of the shadow that looked increasingly Benrey shaped the longer he looked at it. Their eyes were bright in the darkness, the ambient yellow light coming from them giving them an ethereal radiance as they looked at him like he was a piece of meat on the block. </p><p>His heart stopped as the shape that looked like Benrey lifted their hand to a nearby tree ever so slowly. Blood was rushing in his ears as he watched them touch a tree to their side, tapping at the bark like they were thinking, deciding on something that Gordon both desperately wanted to know and never wanted to grace his mind at the same time-</p><p>The shape dug their nails into the bark and ripped it off with their bare hand, the wood splintering violently before letting it drop to the ground.</p><p>Gordon ran even faster than he was before, the burn in his legs starting to get the better of him as he heard them get closer and closer, breaking branches and churning up soil and the heavy footsteps closed in on him-</p><p>Gordon felt the tip of Benrey's fingers touch against his back as he yelped, because it was <i>him</i>, he knew it was Benrey, it couldn't be anyone else. He lurched forward, trying to propel himself away from Benrey, but his legs were too fucking short, and he was getting so fucking <i>tired-</i></p><p>And Benrey lagged behind, just barely. He was right on his heels, silently chasing his prey as he ran away like his life depended on it. His aura was overpowering, radiating behind him an energy that screamed ‘Run, run, don’t stop, <i>run</i>’.</p><p>It was then Gordon realized that Benrey could have caught him at any time. He was so much faster than he ever imagined he could have been, but he was just toying with him. Playing with his prey before he caught him, doing whatever it was that he wanted when he inevitably either grabbed him or Gordon collapsed.</p><p>And Gordon wanted nothing more than to be caught. He wanted Benrey to yank him back, take him into his big, strong arms and fuck him like an animal. Gordon body heated up as he thought about it, desire coursing through his veins-</p><p>The next time Benrey reached out, he grabbed him by the waist.</p><p>Gordon was yanked back into Benrey's strong grip, forced against his wide torso as he cried out and attempted to wiggle out of his grasp. Benrey didn’t say anything, only holding him tighter with one thick arm as his free hand gripped Gordon's thigh and squeezed.</p><p>“Fuckin’ got you.” Benrey breathed in his ear.</p><p>Benrey spun Gordon around in his grasp and forced him to the forest floor, feeling leaves and small twigs underneath his back as Benrey wasted no time in sliding his legs apart and slipping between the small amount of space.</p><p>Gordon instinctively tried to lift himself up from the ground, but Benrey grabbed both of his hands with one of his and pinned them above his head. The larger man leaned over Gordon as he started to grind his clothed dick against his own.</p><p>Gordon moaned, writhing on the forest floor as Benrey set up a hard yet agonizingly slow pace. The former guard stared at Gordon as he ground himself into him, the hand beside his head digging into the dirt the more Gordon gasped.</p><p>He tried to move his arms, but Benrey tightened his hold on him. Not enough to hurt, but enough that he couldn't escape. </p><p>(Gordon did not want to escape in the first place, though. Benrey would just grind harder the more he squirmed under him.)</p><p>Benrey lifted his hand up from the ground and snaked it through his hair, getting dirt in the strands as he played with them.</p><p>“Look so good right now,” He chanted, his breaths growing heavier and heavier, “Look so good under me j- Just- Movin’ around n’ moaning.”</p><p>He started to tug at Gordon's hair, causing him to moan and attempt to grind his hips against the others above him.</p><p>“Ffffuck, Gordon, I- I need- Tell me what you want. I’ll do it, just tell me.”</p><p>Gordon tried to catch his breath, tried to speak, but it was just so much, so hard to talk-</p><p>He closed his eyes, losing himself in the feeling as Benrey thrusted against him even harder. His entire body felt like it was on fire in the chilly fall night, shivering despite how hot he felt. He turned his head, trying to breathe because it was all too much-</p><p>Benrey stopped suddenly in his motions, his hips stilling but still so heavy against him. Gordon groaned in frustration, trying to rub his boner against Benrey’s own to no effect.</p><p>“Fuckin’- Look at me, dude. Don’t- Don’t look away.”</p><p>Gordon turned his head back, still panting. Benrey's pupils were blown wide in the darkness, unblinking as he stared down at Gordon below him.</p><p>“Tell me, tell me- What do you want?”</p><p>“You- I want you,” Gordon breathed shakily, “Want you so-”</p><p>Benrey gripped his wrists tighter, his hands scratching against the leaves underneath him.</p><p>“No- Tell me what you <i>want</i>. Please, just- Fuck- Tell me, Gordon.”</p><p>Gordon's mind slowly stopped spinning so much from the lack of pleasure. He found himself grinning up at the man above him, still taking uneven breathes as he attempted to gather his thoughts.</p><p>“I want- I want to have sex with you, Benrey.”</p><p>The forest was silent, save for the diminishing pants from Gordon as they stared at each other. Time nearly seemed to have come to a standstill as Benrey opened his mouth for a moment, closing it only to open it again, like he was shocked that Gordon had even said that out loud.</p><p>After what seemed like an eternity, Benrey settled on kissing Gordon. It was just as passionate as it had been before, but it was even more heated, somehow, it didn’t even feel possible, and Gordon felt like he was going crazy but he swore he felt something more-</p><p>Benrey's hands quickly went to Gordon's pants, fumbling with his belt. When he couldn’t get it open he growled into their kiss and <i>tugged</i>.</p><p>Gordon yelped as he felt the front of his pants rip away from his body, a violently loud tearing noise echoing through the forest as it happened.</p><p>He shoved Benrey away, looking down at his now destroyed pants. </p><p>“Holy shit, dude, you fucking- Why?! I liked that belt!”</p><p>Benrey grumbled, rubbing at his legs.</p><p>“Needed ‘em off.”</p><p>Gordon's boner was beginning to die down as he messed with the flap that used to be his pants crotch, “Damnit… Gotta warn someone when you’re about to do that.”</p><p>He scooted away and sat up, trying to rub some of the dirt off of his arms. He made a face as he pulled a small twig out of his hair, looking back at Benrey.</p><p>“Uh… I don’t think it’d be very sanitary to do shit out here.”</p><p>“Fuckin’ loser doesn’t want dirt in his ass.” Benrey said, “What's wrong with a little dirt, bro? You scared of, uh, worms or somethin’? What's wrong with worms?”</p><p>Gordon scrunched up his face at the thought. Leave it to Benrey to ruin the mood.</p><p>“Oh my god I don’t want to think about worms and sex at the same time! Stop it!”</p><p>He started to look around, trying to potentially locate a way back. He still didn’t know where the hell he was at… He didn’t know the forest was this deep behind his apartments.</p><p>“Besides, I have no idea where the hell we are…”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it. I got this.”</p><p>In a moment that went by too fast, Gordon suddenly found himself picked up from the ground and into Benrey’s arms.</p><p>“Woah!” He cried out, grabbing onto his hoodie instinctually, “What are-”</p><p>“Uh, close your eyes.” Benrey said, “Can’t do it while you look.”</p><p>“... Are you gonna do that teleporting thing you do?” </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Ok…? Why can’t I look?”</p><p>Benrey shrugged, shifting Gordon in his arms.</p><p>“Probably don’t wanna see it. Humans are dumb and can’t- Their brains shut down when they see something cool. Like, death shut down.”</p><p>Gordon felt much more nervous than he was just a few seconds ago.</p><p>“I’ll fucking die if I open my eyes?!” He nearly screamed.</p><p>“No, no, uh… Probably not. Just trust me on this one, bro.”</p><p>He looked up at Benrey, who was giving him his usual blank look save for the flush across his cheeks.</p><p>He sighed to himself and closed his eyes.</p><p>“Whatever. Lets do it, I guess.”</p><p>“Sweet.”</p><p>He felt Benrey adjust an arm, wrapping a hand around Gordon's eyes at a somewhat awkward angle.</p><p>“Dude-”</p><p>“Gotta do it just in case, man. Curiosity or some shit.” Benrey answered.</p><p>Before Gordon knew it, his stomach dropped.</p><p>It felt like he was plummeting endlessly, his gut churning as he gripped onto Benrey tighter. A feeling of something taking off the very top layer of his skin appeared, making his entire body crawl as it grew colder and colder.</p><p>But the lights were what he experienced the most.</p><p>Even with his eyes closed and Benrey's hand over them, impossibly bright lights danced across his mind. They twirled and danced incomprehensibly, swirling in a mess of colors that his mind tried to make into shapes, but it made his brain start to ache the longer he focused on them.</p><p>The lights was so bright, so alluring, he had to open his eyes, see what it was-</p><p>And just as suddenly as it happened, everything stopped. </p><p>His vision was black again, and everything felt so much warmer. A pins and needles feeling in his body was rapidly fading, replaced with only the sensation of how tightly Benrey was holding him.</p><p>“Was pretty cool, huh?” Benrey asked him as he sat him down.</p><p>Gordon nodded, thankful to be on solid ground after that. But once his feet hit the floor his legs began to buckle, shaken from the trip. He grabbed onto Benrey’s arm for support without thinking, trying to steady himself.</p><p>Benrey grabbed his arm in return, his other hand finding a solid place on his hip.</p><p>“Woah, uh, don't die, bro. Like a fucking… Uh… baby deer over here. Stupid bitch boy legs.”</p><p>“Don't- Don't call my legs stupid.”</p><p>“... Huh?”</p><p>Gordon sighed. His eyes were slowly getting adjusted to the darkness which made Gordon realize just how dirty he was. His pants (or at least the part not ripped open) were covered in dirt from where he tripped on the knees, and he could still see smeared in grime on his arms and hands.</p><p>Gordon picked his hand up from Benrey's sleeve, trying not to get it dirty, “We should probably… Clean this shit off.”</p><p>Benrey made a small hum from the back of his throat, but made no attempt to move or release Gordon.</p><p>“... Like, now.”</p><p>Benrey was still for a few seconds, but finally let him go and moved away. Gordon stood awkwardly in the middle of his room, shifting as Benrey continued to look at him. Benrey had obviously looked at him before, but this was… Different. The context was so much different.</p><p>He pointed to the bathroom door in his room, “I’m gonna… Get cleaned up. You probably should too.“</p><p>“Ok.” He replied, looking at Gordon one last time before leaving his room and closing the door behind him with a soft click.</p><p>“... Guess I should go do that now.” He said to himself.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>——————</p>
</div>Gordon did exactly that.<p>The water in his sink was brown and filled with bits of dirt and leaves as he shook his hair out. He threaded the damp strands in front of his mirror, considering if he should blow dry it or not. It’d be extra work, but he hated the sensation of wet hair on the back of his neck… That and he wouldn't want his sheets or pillows to get wet while-</p><p>Ah. Yeah. The whole reason he was in the bathroom. Because he was going to have sex with Benrey and felt they were both too dirty to do anything. And now he was clean.</p><p>Gordon's stomach twisted. He wasn't sure how it was twisting, whether it was from nervousness or sickness or excitement. Whatever it was churned in his gut, sending pure raw emotion coursing through him. It had to be nervousness. It had to be. He had imagined something like this for so long now, and was just in shock that once he left the room that it would actually be happening… Probably. Maybe? Benrey had seemed very… Enthusiastic the whole time, but he could respect if he didn't want to anymore.</p><p>… Oh god, what if Benrey thought he was making a mistake or something? What if he was in the other bathroom thinking about how much of an easy freak Gordon was and thinking about leaving? What if he already left?</p><p>Ok, calm down Gordon. Deep breaths. Don't freak out. Chill the hell out. Benrey hadn't left. If he did he would have heard the front door open. Just calm down.</p><p>He plugged in the hairdryer and went to work, blowing the hot air all over his head and brushing any tangles out as he tried to ignore his thoughts. His scalp would probably be dry as shit in the morning, but that was for future Gordon to worry about.</p><p>His hair flying around from the hot air uncovered the bite mark on his neck for all to see.</p><p>Gordon paused, clicking off the hair dryer to look at the wound. It wasn't bad, just red pin pricks that could easily be covered if he kept his hair down, but it was obvious what it was. He rubbed it under his hand for a few seconds and made a face when it didn't go away. He didn't even know why he tried. It wasn't like that was going to work anyway.</p><p>… And it wasn't like he actually wanted it to go away. It made heat begin to pool in Gordon's abdomen that he had to force down, wanting to finish drying his hair.</p><p>Once he was done with his hair Gordon stepped out into his empty room. He had long since thrown his dirty clothes into the laundry bin and was naked save for his boxer briefs. He should put on pajamas or something. He probably <i>would</i> scare Benrey off if he was just sitting in his room naked.</p><p>He grabbed an old sleep shirt from his dresser and a pair of fleece pajama pants. Once he put them on he crawled into his bed and got under the covers, his newly dried hair billowing over his pillow. Gordon took off his glasses and put them on the bedside counter.</p><p>… And so the waiting game started, he guessed. </p><p>He anxiously rubbed the sheets between his fingers as he heard Benrey move stuff around in the bathroom in the hall. Seconds turned to minutes as he waited for Benrey to walk into his room. Gordon felt like he was going to tear a hole in his sheets the longer he was alone, picking at a loose string in the fabric from anxiousness.</p><p>After what seemed like an eternity, he heard the bathroom door open. The sound of muffled footsteps approached his door followed by a knock.</p><p>“Can I, uh… Come in?” Benrey asked behind the door.</p><p>“Yeah. You're good.”</p><p>Benrey opened the door slowly, peeking his head inside to look at Gordon. He then stepped inside, having to duck a bit under the doorframe. Gordon saw that he had changed from the sweatpants he was wearing earlier to a baggy pair of pajama pants as well. Benrey closed the door behind him with a click and walked a few feet forward, standing awkwardly in the middle of his room.</p><p>“... Hey.” Gordon said.</p><p>“Uh. Sup.”</p><p>Neither of them said anything for a while. Gordon was trying not to appear like he was about to have a heart attack, switching from messing with a loose string in the sheets to rubbing the underside of his fingers with his thumb.</p><p>Gordon coughed awkwardly, getting Benrey's attention.</p><p>“You should…” He patted the space beside him on the bed, “You should come lay down. If you want to.”</p><p>“... Ok.”</p><p>Benrey made his way to the bed and laid down on top of the covers, the mattress sinking under his weight. Gordon shifted, unsure if he should move himself closer to or away from Benrey.</p><p>“So… ” Gordon started, trying to come up with the right thing to say, “Whats up?”</p><p>“Just chillin’, I guess.” Benrey mumbled.</p><p>“Cool, cool…” </p><p>The room grew quiet again, save for the creaking of the bed whenever one of them moved. Fuck, he had had sex before. Not often, but enough that he could call himself somewhat experienced. But now here he was, potentially going to do stuff with the (secret) love of his life and he was acting like a fucking nervous wreck. He could blame it on the fact that it had been literal years since he last did anything, but christ. He should just grow a pair and kiss him or something. Sitting there twiddling his thumbs wasn't going to get them anywhere.</p><p>Gordon took a deep breath, attempting to steel himself. He then took his hand and cautiously put it on Benrey's, intertwining their fingers gently. Benrey's fingers were wide and thick, making his seem miniscule in comparison.</p><p>Gordon felt Benrey squeeze his hand in response, rubbing the back of his hand in such a gentle way that made the nervousness he had been feeling simultaneously rise and slow at the same time.</p><p>He turned his head to the other man. Benrey was watching him as he continued to rub his hand, eyes filled with an emotion Gordon couldn't place but made butterflies flutter in his stomach nonetheless.</p><p>“... Wanna kiss?” Benrey asked, warm breath hitting his face from how close they were.</p><p>A small smile formed on Gordon's face.</p><p>“I’d like that.”</p><p>They both rolled onto their sides in sync, facing each other completely as their hands came undone. The only light in the room was what came in through the window over his bed and the yellow gleam from Benrey's eyes as they flickered between his face and his lips.</p><p>Gordon was the one that leaned in and initiated the kiss. It was soft and slow, not filled with any of the urgency like some of the earlier kisses had. They had all of the time in the world.</p><p>Gordon decided he no longer wanted the covers on him, kicking them off so he could drape a leg over Benrey's torso. It was nice to not have to worry about their height difference while they kissed, something that Benrey was no doubt thankful for. </p><p>The kiss stayed sweet and gentle for a long while, filled with soft sighs from Gordon and the occasional hum from Benrey. Eventually, Gordon decided to take a chance and paused their kissing, pulling his lips away to take Benrey’s bottom lip in between his teeth. He tugged on it gently, eliciting a soft groan from Benrey. The former guard’s hand found solace on his waist, rubbing small circles into his flesh through his shirt.</p><p>When Gordon released the other man's lip Benrey grew more confident, beginning to take the lead in their kiss. It began to grow more passionate, the soft pecks turning into something more heated that made his head spin even though he was laying down. Kissing the other man made his entire body tingle with emotion, spilling over so intensely that it felt like it was going to pour out of him in waves. It felt like everything in the world could end at that moment and he wouldn't notice nor care. He would just be happy that he was there with him in the end, their lips and bodies sensually tangled together as the universe fell to pieces.</p><p>Suddenly, Benrey's tongue was licking at his bottom lip, silently asking for permission. Gordon parted them, allowing Benrey to deepen the kiss even further. He let out a quiet moan into Benrey's mouth as he grabbed his arm, feeling himself start to get aroused again as their tongues moved against the others. He was barely able to pull back for air, not wanting to miss anything for a single second.</p><p>Gordon pushed up against Benrey harder, trying to close the space between them. Benrey tugged him closer, groaning into his mouth as Gordon's hand moved from his upper arm into his hair-</p><p>Benrey's tongue shifted without warning and reached the back of his throat.</p><p>Gordon pulled his head away, gasping and coughing as the other man's tongue hung out of his mouth.</p><p>“Holy- Holy shit,” He wheezed, trying to gather himself, “The hell happened there?”</p><p>“Sorry,” Benrey said, withdrawing the freakishly long tongue back into his mouth, “Just, uh. Got excited.”</p><p>He coughed again, the tickled feeling in the back of his throat gradually fading. It was only when he was sure that it was gone did he speak again.</p><p>“Look… You gotta warn a guy before you literally shove your tongue down his throat.”</p><p>“Ok,” Benrey deadpanned, “‘M gonna do it again.”</p><p>His eyes darted away for a moment, finding something in the darkness of his room to focus on, “... If you want. I mean, I can chill. Get the normal human tongue out. Got it on the back burner ready to go. Can totally, uh… Do that instead.”</p><p>Gordon mentally sputtered at the thought of that inhumanly long tongue that Benrey showed him months ago in his mouth. </p><p>He… definitely wasn't against the idea. He didn't think that could fit in his mouth, though. At least not the one he saw months ago. Whatever was happening a few seconds ago was probably a decent enough size.</p><p>“Don’t- Um, worry about it. Just… Keep doing what you were doing. With your tongue.”</p><p>Benrey’s eyes widened at Gordon's words. His teeth gleamed in the darkness as he grinned.</p><p>“What, you want- You wanna have your mouth filled up, huh? Wanna choke on my tongue a lil’?” </p><p>Gordon didn't break eye contact as he nodded slowly. Fuck, it felt like his face was going to burn off or something but he really wanted that tongue back in his mouth the more he thought about it. He was discovering way more things about himself that night than he ever would have imagined he would.</p><p>Benrey's grin fell. He blinked in disbelief at the man beside him.</p><p>“So, do you wanna do it or not?” Gordon asked, “And if you laugh I’m- I’m kicking you out of my room.”</p><p>“I’m not laughing.” He answered quickly.</p><p>Gordon nodded again. He still felt embarrassed over the whole situation even though he knew he shouldn't be. The man had his tongue down his throat a second ago, literally and figuratively. He shouldn’t be embarrassed asking him to do it again.</p><p>“... So,” Gordon started, “How should we do this?”</p><p>“Uh... Get on top of me. So you don't get too… Whelmed. Or some shit.”</p><p>Oh, jesus. Benrey really was going to give him a heart attack. </p><p>Benrey flipped over onto his back, allowing Gordon to climb on top of him. He had started to spread his legs wide over the others abdomen when Benrey interrupted him.</p><p>“Uhhh, just- Just lay on top of me. So you don't gotta bend over.”</p><p>“I don't wanna crush you, dude.” Gordon said, looking down at Benrey. The soft glow from the window and Benrey's own eyes showed Gordon the blush on his cheeks, watching as Benrey's hands went down to his lower thighs and patted him.</p><p>“Not gonna crush me. I, uh, don't need to breathe. You're the fuckin’... The one who needs air. Idiot hasn’t even- Hasn't figured out how to not breathe yet.”</p><p>Gordon's brows furrowed together, “Don't call me an idiot while we're doing shit.”</p><p>“Ok… Loser.”</p><p>Gordon began to get off of him. Benrey's hands on his thighs moved to his waist, keeping him in place.</p><p>“Wait- Don't- Don't go.” He said quickly, “I’ll chill. Just don't go.”</p><p>Gordon squinted down at him, “Promise?”</p><p>Benrey nodded once. Well, that was the best he was going to get, probably. He would take what he could get.</p><p>“Ok.”</p><p>He began to lay down on top of the other man, legs still spread wide as he let his weight come down on top of Benrey. Even though Benrey gave him permission to put his full weight on him Gordon decided to support himself somewhat on his hands. Their faces were only a few inches apart, Gordon's warm breath making Benrey blink. </p><p>“Just, uh,” Benrey said, glowing eyes shining onto Gordon, “Whenever you're ready, I guess.”</p><p>“Cool. Just gonna… Start… Now, then.”</p><p>He leaned in and pressed their lips together. Benrey's lips were still just as chapped as they were earlier that night, if not more chapped.</p><p>He pulled away just a bit, “Really need to use some chapstick, man.”</p><p>“Wuh?”</p><p>“Your lips are super dry. Like, goddamn, drink some water every once in a while-“</p><p>Benrey grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down for another kiss. Gordon grumbled into the kiss, miffed that Benrey interrupted him, but he didn't really mind. They exchanged small pecks between each other, falling back into a slow rhythm until he felt Benrey's tongue lick at his lips.</p><p>He parted his lips, allowing Benrey access. Benrey put his tongue in gently, sliding them together as their make out gradually grew more heated. Gordon moaned into their kiss, causing Benrey's grip in his hair to tighten. A hand that had been on his waist went up his back, rubbing his skin through his shirt as he felt the tongue in his mouth grow longer.</p><p>He felt it travel inside his mouth, touching his molars with a precisional gentleness he didn't think was possible. Gordon began to lose control over the kiss, Benrey's tongue too large to wrestle with. All he could do was moan softly as the other man's tongue twisted inside his mouth, coiling and undulating as it meticulously touched places no other person had reached before.</p><p>The tip happened to twitch at the back of his tongue, sending a wave of heat through his body. He tried to say Benrey's name but only succeeded in groaning nonsensically around his tongue. Gordon felt himself start to shake, opening his legs wider unconsciously on Benrey's chest as he pushed their faces closer-</p><p>Suddenly Gordon was moved, flipped onto his back as Benrey hovered over him. He opened his eyes in surprise, watching Benrey's make eye contact with him as he growled, sending shivers down his spine. Gordon's hands clutched Benrey's shirt, nails digging into the fabric as the former security guard began twisting his tongue around his mouth with a newfound urgency.</p><p>It was overwhelming, his mouth growing fuller and fuller with each passing second but fuck, it felt so much better than it had any right to-</p><p>Benrey withdrew his tongue, letting Gordon gasp for air that he so desperately needed before plunging right back in. </p><p>Gordon groaned, lifting his hips up involuntarily as Benrey did it again, forcing his tongue in and out of his mouth. Saliva began to drip out of the corner of his lips as he writhed underneath Benrey. God, his mouth was so fucking full while Benrey near fucked his mouth, because that’s what he was doing, wasn't he? Fuck, his head was spinning, and he wanted more, needed to be touched, <i>something</i>.</p><p>Gordon heard Benrey make a noise above him as Gordon started to reach up, grabbing at his back to try and draw him closer. Benrey leaned down further, careful not to crush the smaller man. He wrapped his arms around Benrey as much as he could, pawing at his wide shoulders while Benrey continued to explore his mouth with wild abandon.</p><p>He never went too far, Gordon realized; never hitting the back of his throat or making him gag. Just sensually moving his tongue back and forth inside of him like he was trying to memorize every part of him.</p><p>Finally, after what Gordon felt like was an eternity, Benrey withdrew his tongue for the last time. Gordon gasped for air, face flushed while he wheezed. </p><p>“Fuck- Uh, you good?” Benrey asked, “Did I fuck up? Fuckin’ kill you? Are you dead?”</p><p>“I’m not- I’m not dead,” He coughed, wiping the spit off of his face, “Just- That was. Wow.”</p><p>“Is that… Good?”</p><p>Gordon nodded from underneath him. Benrey nodded alongside him, watching his former coworker push stray strands of hair out of his face.</p><p>“Uh. Cool. That’s- That’s cool.”</p><p>They sat there in silence for a few awkward moments until Gordon's hands moved from Benrey’s back to his chest, trying to draw some sort of reaction out of him. Benrey shifted, putting one of his hands on top of Gordon’s. His hand made Gordon’s seem so small by comparison as he rubbed his knuckles delicately, like he was afraid the slightest miscalculation would hurt him somehow. His eyes nervously went back and forth all over Gordon, like he couldn't find exactly what he wanted to look at. </p><p>“Do you… Wanna keep going?”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah-” Benrey said quickly, “‘M just. Uh… Lookin’. Enjoyin’ the view.”</p><p>“... Oh.” Gordon was thankful that the already present blush on his face wouldn’t betray his embarrassment. Benrey had already called Gordon ‘pretty’ earlier, but they weren’t having sex then. About to have sex, rather. Although Benrey did just fuck his mouth in a way-</p><p>Jesus christ, Gordon. Stop thinking about it too hard. Just try and go with the flow for once and don’t overthink about how Benrey called you attractive twice in the last hour. </p><p>He gripped Benrey's shirt again, tugging on it to distract himself from his thoughts.</p><p>“Well, quit looking and get to… Doing something.”</p><p>Even in the darkness Gordon swore he saw Benrey’s faint blush intensify.</p><p>“... Ok. Uh, sit up. Please.”</p><p>Benrey moved off of him so he could do as he asked. Gordon sat up, feeling something akin to disappointment now that Benrey wasn't on top of him.</p><p>The other man reached down to the bottom of his shirt and rubbed the fabric between his fingers.</p><p>“Can I…?”</p><p>Gordon nodded, stomach rolling from excitement. </p><p>Benrey swallowed thickly, “Dope. Cool. Gonna… Do it, then.”</p><p>Benrey lifted his shirt up, exposing Gordon’s hairy stomach to him. Gordon raised his arms up to help him along, feeling the soft cotton shirt being lifted over his head before being thrown down onto the floor. Benrey laughed as he looked down at him, his sharp teeth poked out of an awkward smile.</p><p>“Oh- Oh shit,” Benrey breathed, “Uh. Holy shit. Haha.”</p><p>Gordon frowned, putting a hand on his stomach unconsciously, “What's so funny?”</p><p>“Nothin’- Nothin’s funny, just… Can't, uh. Believe it.”</p><p>“Believe what?”</p><p>“That…” Benrey made a vague gesture to Gordon, “You're naked- And I can, uh… Touch you.”</p><p>Benrey paused, eyes moving back up to his face, “I can do that, right? Touch you.”</p><p>Gordon let out an internal breath he didn’t realize he was holding as he smiled softly. He was scared that Benrey was laughing because he was kind of pudgy, but was glad that he just seemed a bit nervous.</p><p>“Yeah. Yeah, you can touch me. On-“</p><p>Gordon snapped his mouth shut because holy shit would that have been a sentence to say. </p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“Nothing, nothing…”</p><p>“No, uh, you can say it. Wanna hear it.”</p><p>Gordon shook his head, “No way. My fucking- My horny brain was gonna make me say something dumb.”</p><p>“Say it, bro.” Benrey leaned in closer, “Say it. I need to- Need to hear it.”</p><p>Oh christ, Gordon felt like his body was going to explode from embarrassment. </p><p>“... Don't laugh.”</p><p>“I won't.” Benrey answered quickly.</p><p>Gordon squirmed under Benrey's intense gaze, looking away as he whispered, “I was gonna say only… You could touch me.”</p><p>Benrey paused for a long time. Gordon almost said he was sorry until the other man took a very long, deep breath.</p><p>“... Holy shit, dude. Gonna fuckin’- Gonna kill me in one blow. Can't just say things like that. I mean you can but… Holy shit.”</p><p>“Ah. Um. I told you my brain was gonna make me say something dumb-“</p><p>“No,” Benrey told him, “Say it again.”</p><p>Holy fuck.</p><p>What little blood was left in his brain rushed to his dick as his mouth grew dry. Benrey's eyes were solely focused on him and him alone as he opened his mouth.</p><p>“Only- Only you can touch me, Benrey.”</p><p>... In mere seconds Benrey had pulled himself away completely and got off the bed, sitting down on his knees at the end of the mattress.</p><p>Gordon was confused until he felt two very warm hands grab his shins and <i>tug</i>.</p><p>He cried out, being pulled harshly to Benrey as the sheets bunched up under his back. His bed frame wasn't that tall to begin with, but for Benrey it meant that he could hover over Gordon again as he grabbed his hips, digging his fingers into his soft flesh through his pajamas as he adjusted him. </p><p>Gordon could feel a stiff erection begin to rub against his own as Benrey breathed, “Again, say it again.”</p><p>He whimpered softly, a feeling of warm pleasure boiling in his abdomen as Benrey rolled his hips in agonizingly slow bursts.</p><p>“Only- You can, you can touch me,” He groaned, trying to grind up against Benrey, but he was effectively pinned down by the hands on his hips, “Only you- I- I'm yours-“</p><p>Benrey slammed their hips together, eliciting a long moan from Gordon as he started to dry hump him fully. It was so much better than earlier now that he was out of his jeans and into thin pajama pants. He could feel exactly how hard Benrey was as he moved a hand from his hip to his chest, rubbing and scratching at the hairy skin.</p><p>The mattress creaked loudly as Benrey set a hard pace, rubbing their clothed dicks together in the darkness as he said, “Wanna know- You wanna know what, haaah, <i>shit-</i> ‘M gonna fuckin’ tell you what I was gonna do in the woods. You wanna know? Wanna hear it?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Gordon's voice cracked, “Tell me- Tell me-“</p><p>“Was gonna fuck you on the ground,” Benrey said, voice taking on a heated tone as he stared down at Gordon. The sheen from his eyes reflected on Gordon's torso, showing him the thin layer of sweat building on him, “Would've figured out a way to- To bite you, bite you while I did because I caught you- Fuck, Gordon-“</p><p>Benrey's hand on his hip started to weigh down on him heavily, trying to keep him still as his thrusts grew more frantic. A droplet of sweat fell onto Gordon as Benrey's other hand scratched long lines down his side, and fuck, he wasn't a masochist but it felt so damn good that he babbled nonsensically, the mix of pain and pleasure melting his brain.</p><p>“Haaaaah, Benrey- Benrey-“ He scratched at the sheets underneath him, back arching at a particularly harsh thrust. </p><p>“Say my name again,” Benrey groaned, “S- Say it again.”</p><p>“Benrey,” Gordon chanted, unable to think about anything other than what Benrey was saying and the electric heat that coursed through him from every thrust, “Benrey- I'm, fuck, Benrey-“</p><p>“Fuckin’- sayin’ my name like that, shouldn't sound like that, shouldn't sound so good,” Benrey began to ramble, his large palm becoming damp on Gordon's flesh, “Was gonna bite you again, show everyone- Show everyone I caught you, show people you're mine, and I was, shiiiiit- Hah, gonna make you fuckin’ <i>scream</i>.“</p><p>Jesus, he was going into kind of possessive territory as he rutted against him. It made Gordon’s stomach twist, thinking about being his, thinking about Benrey making him scream in pleasure as he marked him. And Gordon wanted it, but he needed to know, needed to know if-</p><p>“Are you mine?” Gordon said, trying to catch his breath, “If- If I'm yours, are you mine?”</p><p>“Always,” Benrey answered quickly, as if answering any other way was never considered, “Always yours.”</p><p>He felt his heart soar at the words. Even though he knew it was just Benrey's horny brain answering, even if it had no deeper meaning, it made Gordon's want to jump for joy hearing the love of his life say that he was his.</p><p>It gave Gordon the courage he needed to grab onto to hand on his shirt and say, “Then go ahead and- And fuck me, then.”</p><p>Benrey's looked like they were going to pop out of his head. Gordon let out a small laugh at the sight.</p><p>His laughter was cut short as Benrey slipped a hand under his head and tugged his hair roughly. He moaned, feeling his roots strain in his scalp as his head was forced back.</p><p>“Yes. Fucking. <i>Siiiir</i>.” Benrey groaned above him, each word marked with a hard thrust against him.</p><p>Gordon writhed, his skin sticking to the sheets. He tried to wrap his legs around Benrey, trying to pull him even closer. The larger man broke out into laughter, sharp teeth visible as he watched Gordon squirm on the bed. Gordon hadn't heard that same intense laughter since his birthday months ago. It echoed through the room and Gordon's mind as Benrey continued his dry humping.</p><p>“Want me to fuck you? Thats- HaHA- Thats kinda gay, bro. But thats what I'm gonna do, gonna fuck the shit outta you till you can't fuckin’ walk. You want that? Huh?”</p><p>“Yes, yes, Benrey, yes, fffuck, Benrey, need it-“</p><p>Benrey's laughter died down as he continued, “Gonna- Gonna be so good to you, Gordon. Gonna be so good.”</p><p>The man above him threw his head back, panting. He squeezed his eyes shut, a single droplet of sweat dripping down over his closed lids.</p><p>“God, fuck, I love you-“</p><p>Benrey went still instantly, pausing above him as Gordon's mind went blank.</p><p>There was… There was no way he heard that right. It wasn't possible. It wasn't real.</p><p>“... What?”</p><p>He felt Benrey start to grow soft against him as he looked down at him, his face losing the flush it had. Benrey's face shifted, growing into one of intense worry and <i>fear</i>.</p><p>“I- I- I’m so- fuck, I fucked up, fucked up again, nonono,” He sat up, not looking Gordon in the eyes as he talked to himself, “Whats wrong with me, stupid fuckin’- ‘M sorry-“</p><p>Gordon's heart was in his throat as he lifted himself up, staring at Benrey with wide eyes. He tried to speak but he couldn't breathe, something catching in his chest as he attempted to find words.</p><p>It was so intense, but for an entirely different reason than it all had been earlier. </p><p>“B- Benrey. Calm down.” He finally said, his voice a shaky whisper in the darkness of his room. </p><p>“Can't, can't fuckin’- I'm a sorry, can't believe I-“</p><p>He scooted closer, trying to knock Benrey out of his nervous trance by grabbing his arms.</p><p>“Benrey-“</p><p>He shook his head, not calming down in the slightest as Gordon touched him. He hadn't realized it before but Benrey was shaking like a leaf as he mumbled to himself. </p><p>“Idiot, just sayin’- Sayin’ words, fucking up, nonono, ruin every-“</p><p>“Benrey.”</p><p>He grabbed the man's head with his hands, turning his head towards him. Benrey wasn't looking at him, his glowing eyes staring down somewhere on the bed as they refused to meet his own.</p><p>“Look at me.” He said softly, “Please.”</p><p>Benrey was silent, looking like he was going to be sick as Gordon rubbed a cheek with his thumb.</p><p>“Benrey, I need you to look at me.”</p><p>Benrey’s eyes gradually lifted up, shining a faint light on his face. Gordon's heart broke as he saw a look of vulnerability he had never seen on him before.</p><p>“Benrey…” Gordon whispered, “I love you too.”</p><p>Ar first, it seemed like Benrey hadn't heard him, staring at him uncomprehendingly. But ever so slightly his face shifted, going from shock to confusion until it finally settled on disbelief.</p><p>“... Huh?”</p><p>“I love you too.” he repeated, “I have for a while now.”</p><p>Benrey blinked very, very slowly. He shook his head to himself.</p><p>“... You're lying.”</p><p>“What?” Gordon said, pausing in his rubbing, “Listen to me, dude. I love you. I'm not- I'm not lying.”</p><p>“I don't… I don't understand.”</p><p>Benrey touched his arm, right where the jagged scar was from Black Mesa. His fingers feathered over the skin like if he pressed down Gordon would shatter to pieces.</p><p>Gordon furrowed his brows just a bit, “Is this about my arm? I already forgave you for that, remember…?”</p><p>“You shouldn't,” Benrey answered, “Shouldn't forgive me for that. ‘S fucked up.”</p><p>Gordon resumed his face rubbing, attempting to comfort him as he started to talk.</p><p>“Benrey. We’re both kind of fucked up. Everyone we know is fucked up. I mean, maybe it is fucked up? But I… kind of don't care? It's- It’s my decision, not anyone else's. And I had long since forgiven you before, uh… I realized how much I loved you. So… Yeah. Not sure what you want me to say.”</p><p>A small smile formed on his face as he made eye contact with Benrey.</p><p>“Besides, what's a little limb loss between dudes?”</p><p>Benrey looked down at him dumbfounded for a moment before grinning alongside Gordon, leaning down to put his head on Gordon’s shoulder.</p><p>“Oh my god, you remember that? You remember that shit? What's wrong with you?”</p><p>Gordon laughed against Benrey's neck, “Yeah, I remember that. It made me so mad at the time. It got tattooed on my brain.”</p><p>“Damn. Maybe- You might actually be fucked up if you remember that. That’s like… Number seven in the Benrey dumbass moments vid. Bringin’ that shit up again.”</p><p>Benrey went quiet, growing still on his shoulder as he took a deep breath.</p><p>“... You’re really serious, though? Like, for real?”</p><p>Gordon nodded even though he knew Benrey wouldn't have seen it, “Yeah. Yeah, I love you, man.”</p><p>“... Uh. Cool.”</p><p>“Oh, is someone getting shy?” Gordon teased, playfully shoving Benrey's head off of him, “Just told me you love me but now you can't say it back? I see how it is.”</p><p>“Ohmygodshutup.” Benrey muttered, face red in the darkness, “Don't make it weird. Over here ruining the moment with your… words. And your mouth.”</p><p>… Hearing the word ‘mouth’ gave Gordon an idea.</p><p>“Hey… Get on the bed. Just sit down on the edge.”</p><p>Benrey didn't move, so Gordon patted the sheets beside him.</p><p>“C’mon. Just- Just sit on the bed, dude.”</p><p>Benrey silently got up and sat down beside Gordon, the mattress creaking under his weight. Even with Benrey sitting down on his mattress he still managed to tower over him. Gordon got up and stood in front of him, slotting himself between his spread legs and placing his hands on his face.</p><p>“What- What's happening.” Benrey said, eyes flickering from Gordon's face to his bare chest.</p><p>Gordon leaned in, putting his lips up to Benrey’s ear and just barely grazing the thin flesh.</p><p>“I'm gonna show you how much I love you,” He whispered, “So just relax and let me take care of you for now.”</p><p>Benrey let out a noise that sounded like a cross between choking and a balloon deflating.</p><p>“Oh. Oh shit. Haha, uh. Sweet. Great. Awesome.”</p><p>Gordon rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. He pulled his head back and kissed Benrey's forehead before pulling up Benrey's shirt. The other man lifted his arms, allowing Gordon to pull it off completely. He threw the fabric on the floor, his full attention turned to Benrey’s bare torso.</p><p>It was just as sexy as he remembered from the pool party months ago. Dark hair covered his chest and stomach, growing progressively thicker the lower it went. A large happy trail peeked out from his sweatpants, making Gordon swallow thickly.</p><p>He leaned in again, kissing Benrey softly on the lips before travelling to his neck, peppering it with kisses. His hands rubbed at Benrey's chest and stomach, eliciting a low groan as he began to nip at his neck. </p><p>“You gonna fuckin’ bite me, bro?” Benrey said, a hand that had been previously on the bed making its way into Gordon's hair.</p><p>Gordon pulled his mouth away just a bit, hot breath hitting his neck as he asked, “Do you want me to?”</p><p>“Hell yeah- Better bite me hard.” He answered quickly, “Wanna see those teeth try-“</p><p>His words turned into a raggedy moan as Gordon bit into his skin, blunt teeth digging into the flesh. Gordon wasn't applying much pressure, not wanting to hurt Benrey. He moved his mouth to another part of his neck and bit down again, making Benrey's hand in his hair tighten.</p><p>“Fffffuck, harder, do it harder,” Benrey groaned, “Bite me like you mean it.”</p><p>Gordon lifted his head away completely, looking at Benrey's as he said, “I- I don't wanna hurt you, dude.”</p><p>“Not gonna hurt me- Never gonna hurt me. Trust me, so just- Just do it, please.”</p><p>Gordon's eyes went between Benrey's face and his neck once, giving him an unsure look.</p><p>“Ok… But you have to tell me if I go too far.”</p><p>“You won't,” Benrey said, “So be a man and bite me already, bro.”</p><p>He felt his head shoved into Benrey's neck, his mouth making contact where his teeth had previously been.</p><p>Well… He was asking for it. And he did say please…</p><p>Gordon parted his lips and bit him hard, blunt teeth carving a mark into Benrey's skin. Benrey moaned loudly, pushing his head further into his neck.</p><p>“Harder, harder,” Benrey chanted, “Do it harder, do it-“</p><p>Gordon did as he asked, digging his teeth harder and harder until his teeth began to ache. He was scared he was going to break the skin and make him bleed but Benrey only moaned the longer it went on, not seeming like he was in any pain. It made the heady rush in Gordon's brain grow stronger as he removed his teeth, finding another tender spot to sink them into.</p><p>“Fffffuck yeah, that's the stuff, gonna make- Gonna mark me up so good-“</p><p>Gordon hummed, moving to the other side of his neck to give it a few bites of his own. The marks were sure to bruise from the amount of force he was applying, but his rational thinking skills had long since left the building as Benrey groaned like he was going to cum in his pants just from Gordon biting him.</p><p>Gordon finally pulled away after a few minutes, observing Benrey in front of him. His face was flushed, grinning as he let out raggedy breath after breath. Gordon saw some sort of movement below him, looking down to see-</p><p>Oh. Oh shit.</p><p>“How, uh…” He swallowed, “How long have you been, uh. Touching yourself?”</p><p>Benrey looked down, watching his hand palm at his erection in his sweats before looking back at Gordon.</p><p>“Huh? For a while now... Couldn't help it. You mind?”</p><p>“No!” Gordon said quickly, waving a hand. How the fuck hadn't he noticed that before? “No, no, I don't mind. I just- It, uh… Yeah.”</p><p>Benrey sighed, spreading his legs a bit wider and fuck Gordon could watch him touch himself all night, rubbing and grinding against his hand. He swore he could see a wet spot, too.</p><p>“You should- You need to use your words, man. Gotta use your words for lil’ old me. Show me that, uh… PhD you got. Gimme those big boy words all up in your brain.”</p><p>“I mean,” Gordon shifted, trying to figure out what exactly to say, “I was already gonna do it to begin with… But I just, ah… Really want to-“</p><p>He gestured to his crotch and gave Benrey an awkward grin, “Suck your dick? Y'know?”</p><p>Benrey stopped touching himself, looking at Gordon in shock. His mouth opened and closed several times, his mind seemingly drawing a blank.</p><p>“... You wanna suck my dick that bad?” Benrey finally said, “Gordon wants to schlob on my knob? Huh? Gonna suck the soul straight out of my dick? Cause I mean- I don't- I don't let just anyone jump on this. Only professionals can handle this rod.”</p><p>“Literally never call your dick anything other than a dick ever again.” Gordon deadpanned, “Or I will kick you out of this room.”</p><p>“Wuh?”</p><p>He sighed, “Never… Never mind.”</p><p>“... You really wanna do that, though?” Benrey asked, smacking his lips together before continuing, “You- Uh, you actually wanna… Put your mouth on that?”</p><p>Gordon patted him on the shoulder, “Dude. If I didn't want to I wouldn't have said it.”</p><p>“Say it again, then.” Benrey said, his voice taking on a progressively heated tone, “Tell me again- Say what you wanna do.”</p><p>Christ, Benrey had no right to sound so sexy when he said things like that. It made his mind short circuit hearing him talk when his voice started to get low.</p><p>“I... I want to- Uh, suck your dick.”</p><p>Benrey was silent for a moment as he removed his hand from Gordon's hair and placed both of them on his own waistband.</p><p>“Kay. Get on your knees.”</p><p>… Ah.</p><p>His mind went blank at the words. Gordon got down on his knees faster than he thought was possible. Benrey was so tall above him sitting down, the ambient light coming from his eyes giving Gordon a good view of how hard Benrey's boner was straining against his pajamas.</p><p>Before he knew it Benrey lifted himself off the bed just enough that he could slide his pajama pants off-</p><p>Hold up.</p><p>“No underwear? Really?”</p><p>“Yeah. Would've had to take ‘em off anyway so…” Benrey shrugged, “But you should pay more attention to my dick than my undies- You ever even- I thought you knew how to suck? Remember? Are you a liar? Huh? G- Gordon Gayman makin’ rookie mistakes over here.”</p><p>“That was YOU,” Gordon pointed at him, “that said that, not me. I don't even know where you got that from!”</p><p>Benrey hummed, tapping his bare thighs.</p><p>“Got a- You have a nice lookin’ mouth, i’unno. I think it’d look really good on my dick. You should… Uh. Put it on there. Give it a lil’ smooch. With your lips. Getting distracted by words when you should- You should be… Not doing that.”</p><p>He was getting distracted, wasn't he? He finally ripped his eyes away from Benrey's face and looked down.</p><p>… Yeah, that sure was a penis, alright.</p><p>Benrey was already a big guy, so he figured he would have been larger than average down there as well. But honestly, it was only an inch or two longer than other dicks he had seen, just much thicker. Gordon didn't realize how thankful he was for that until just then. He cringed thinking about how much it would have hurt to try and fit what he was expecting into his mouth… Or other places.</p><p>Gordon put his hands on Benrey's thighs, spreading them apart a bit wider so he could slide himself closer. He rubbed the hairy skin under his palm for a moment before beginning to plant kisses on the inside of Benrey's thighs. The other man's legs twitched as he began snickering softly.</p><p>“Fuckin’ tickles, man.”</p><p>Gordon grinned, giving Benrey an evil look from his position, “Oh, you're ticklish, huh? I’ll keep that in mind for later.”</p><p>Benrey almost said something in response but closed his mouth shut, holding back a noise as Gordon took his dick into his hand. He rolled back his foreskin, observing a small droplet of pre cum coming out of his urethra. He glanced up, noticing that Benrey was looking at the wall with a nervous expression on his face.</p><p>“Hey,” Gordon said, “Look at me.”</p><p>Benrey swallowed and tilted his head down at him.</p><p>Gordon maintained eye contact with Benrey as he stuck his tongue out and licked a long stripe from the base of his dick to the tip. Benrey groaned, his hands on his thighs going to the sheets beside him as Gordon put his lips to his head, making tiny swirling motions with his tongue as he licked the pre cum away. It tasted so much fucking better than it had any right to.</p><p>“Oh shit- Oh fuck-“ Benrey's voice cracked, watching Gordon take his dick into his mouth, “Holy shit, Gordon, hah-“</p><p>Benrey began to laugh again, mixing into a combination of chuckling and moans as Gordon fitted as much as he could into his mouth and began to suck. It was a stretch, jaw already starting to feel strained from the width. But if there was one thing Gordon wasn't, it was a quitter. He was going to give Benrey the best fucking first blowjob of his life, jaw be damned. He moved his head up and down slowly, pumping what he couldn't fit in his mouth with his hand. </p><p>“Sorry, don't- Don't mean to laugh, just, haaaHA-“ Benrey's voice wavered, “Feels realllllly good, man-“</p><p>Whatever laughter was still in his voice left once Gordon touched his balls, gently massaging them with his thumb. Benrey's hands clenched and unclenched on the sheets as he breathed heavily. </p><p>Gordon moaned around Benrey's dick, glad he could make him feel so good. It gave him a primal satisfaction that went straight to his core as Benrey threw his head back and thrusted his hips forward involuntarily from the vibration. Gordon gagged, feeling the dick hit the back of his throat as Benrey did it a second time. He removed his mouth with a wet popping noise and coughed, tilting his head to the side.</p><p>“Jesus, dude-“ He said, wiping the spit from his lips, “You're gonna make me get sick all over you. Chill out.”</p><p>“Sssssorry, Just- Jesus, bro. Makin’ it really hard not to uhhhh…” Benrey smacked his lips, “Fuck your mouth.”</p><p>Gordon made a very unmanly noise as the thought. His own dick twitched as he envisioned Benrey doing exactly that. And fuck, if that didn't sound good; Benrey gripping the back of his head while he thrusted into his mouth like his life depended on it. But he had to show restraint somewhere. He had to be patient.</p><p>“Dude, I've been sucking your dick for like two minutes. Chill out a bit. I'm trying to make this last.”</p><p>He stroked Benrey's dick in his hand, moving the foreskin back and forth. Another small droplet of pre cum leaked out, a hum coming out of Gordon from the sight.</p><p>“Maybe I don't wanna be chill. Maybe I… Uh, wanna do that instead. Bet you’d like that.”</p><p>Gordon didn’t respond because he <i>would</i> like that. He would like that a lot. Much more than was probably normal.</p><p>His face must have betrayed him because Benrey smiled, teeth poking out of his chapped lips.</p><p>“Oh shit, you’d actually like that? You want me to fuck your mouth?”</p><p>“Yes.” He whispered, speaking without thinking.</p><p>“Tell me, uh… You want it then. You gotta tell me before I do it.”</p><p>Benrey lifted a hand to his face, rubbing a gentle circle into his cheek. It sent electricity flooding through his body, making his face tingle from the touch.</p><p>… Fuck it. <i>Fuck</i> restraint. Gordon had been restraining himself for months on end, and here he was, finally sleeping with Benrey. Months of imagining something like this happening but thinking it would never come into fruition, but it was <i>real</i> and it was actually <i>happening-</i></p><p>And Gordon was tired of waiting. He wanted it, anything and everything that Benrey would give him. He wanted it so bad it made him feel like he was going to burst, ripping at the seams from pure hunger and emotion.</p><p>That, and when Benrey looked at him like that, with that look of longing and lust and unadulterated <i>love-</i> Gordon could never say no to him. He wanted to be in the spotlight of those intense eyes for the rest of his life.</p><p>So Gordon allowed himself to answer back truthfully.</p><p>“I want you to fuck my mouth.”</p><p>It was quiet in his room, the words repeating in Gordon's mind alongside his racing heart as Benrey looked down at him. The man above him let out a single laugh before responding.</p><p>“Put your hands on my legs, then. Can't do shit like this.”</p><p>Gordon did as he was told, removing his hands and placing them on Benrey's thighs. He watched with bated breath as Benrey stroked his dick a few times, the spit covered flesh glistening in the ambient light. Gordon could see another drop of pre cum leaking out. He desperately wanted to taste it again.</p><p>“Just… Tap my leg if you needta’ breathe. Can't choke out my best bro.”</p><p>He nodded, sliding himself even closer as the hand on his face traveled to the side of his head. Benrey placed the head of his dick against his lips, and he swallowed.</p><p>“Open up.” Benrey said, “... Uh, Please.”</p><p>Gordon parted his lips silently, allowing Benrey to slide his dick inside. He rubbed his hands against Benrey's thighs as the other man made a low groaning sound in the back of his throat. His hand that had previously been on his dick moved to the other side of his head, threading his fingers through Gordon’s long hair.</p><p>Benrey began slowly, moving Gordon back and forth on his dick. He was careful not to hit the back of his throat, always stopping short if Gordon made a noise or tapped softly on his thigh. Benrey's sighs and moans filled the room as Gordon rubbed his thighs lovingly, trying to spur them along the best he could.</p><p>His jaw ached, stretching nearly as wide as it could around his thick member. But he loved it, loved feeling Benrey's legs twitch as he fucked his mouth, loved hearing his breath hitch when Gordon groaned around him.</p><p>Eventually, Benrey began to talk again.</p><p>“‘M- I’m gonna go faster.”</p><p>Gordon softly moaned what he hoped Benrey would understand as a ‘yes’.</p><p>Benrey picked up the pace, not violently pulling his head back and forth but enough that it had him gripping the other man's thighs tighter. He felt like if he didn't grab onto him he would fall through the floor, his dizzy with arousal as his body turned to jelly with each thrust.</p><p>“Ungghh- Hah- Gordon,” Benrey rambled, watching saliva drip from his stretched lips, “Ohhhh shit, holy shit- God, you feel so good.”</p><p>Each word made his dick ache, made him feel like he was going to explode. But Gordon didn't want to remove his hands to touch himself. He knew he could, knew he could use just one hand at least, but something in his brain told him he <i>couldn't</i>, like he would be breaking a law of the universe if he did. So instead Gordon closed his legs together, desperate for any form of friction as he rubbed against himself.</p><p>Benrey threw his head back, panting as he picked up the pace. Gordon's head was bobbing up and down rapidly in his hands as he began to thrust his hips shallowly, trying his hardest not to choke Gordon as he lost himself to pleasure. Spit and pre cum mixed in his mouth, pooling heavily on his tongue.</p><p>“So good- So good to me- Love you so much, Gordon.” Benrey chanted above him, legs shaking as he thrusted in his mouth, “Fuckin’- Shit, love you-”</p><p>He hummed, hoping Benrey would understand he was saying ‘I love you too’. Benrey groaned from the vibration, digging his fingers into his scalp.</p><p>“Look so good like this- Always knew, al- Always fuckin’ knew you’d be good at this, fffffuuuuck.”</p><p>Spit began to drip down onto Gordon's legs, making wet spots on his pajamas as Benrey continued to ramble.</p><p>“Gonna- Youre gonna make me fuckin’- Fuckin’ shoot my load, Gonna blast some thick ropes down your throat. You want that? Wanna swallow- shitttttt, hah- You wanna swallow my cum, bro?”</p><p>Benrey's body glistened with sweat as he tried his best to respond. Gordon dug his nails into Benrey's thighs, trying to force his head further on his dick even though it would choke him because he did want it, he wanted Benrey to cum down his throat-</p><p>Suddenly, Benrey pulled his head back off his dick, leaving his mouth painfully empty. Gordon made a whining noise that he would have been embarrassed about if he wasn't painfully hard.</p><p>“Uh… Too bad, I guess.” Benrey said.</p><p>Gordon removed his hands from Benrey's thighs, now increasingly more aware of how much his jaw ached. He closed his mouth and groaned, rubbing his jaw with his fingers.</p><p>He felt Benrey rub at his head, one hand moving stray pieces of hair away that was sticking to his damp face.</p><p>“You good?” He asked, threading his hair back, “Didn't, uh… Hurt you or some shit? Was my face fuck game too hard? Huh?”</p><p>Gordon shook his head, “No, just, ah… Kinda sore. I'm good. That was just…”</p><p>He waved a hand toward Benrey's erection as he smiled, “<i>Wow</i>.”</p><p>Benrey hummed, moving his hands from his head to the bed as Gordon continued.</p><p>“I mean, you didn't have to stop if you thought you were hurting me. We can- We can keep going, if you want.”</p><p>“Huh? Wuh- Oh.” Benrey blinked, “I stopped cause I wanna fuck you. Like, actually fuck you.”</p><p>Gordon breathed out deeply from his nose. Oh, christ, that sounded good-</p><p>“‘N I'll probably pass out if I cum.” Benrey scratched his stomach, “Brain’ll just give out. Pass out like a lil’ bitch cause the nut was too good.”</p><p>… And the head rush that Gordon had been building up thinking about Benrey fucking him came violently crashing down.</p><p>“Don't ever say the word ‘nut’ ever again.” Gordon said, “‘Nut’ is not a word I ever want to hear during sex.”</p><p>Benrey rolled his eyes, “Oh, look at you over here... More worried about nuts ‘n shit than how hard I'm gonna plow your ass.”</p><p>“I'm not-“ He put his head in his hands, “I'm not worried about nuts, Benrey. Just don't fucking say stupid words for orgasm.”</p><p>“Ugh, alright, geez. Chill out, man.” Benrey tapped his fingers on the bed, seemingly thinking of what to say, “... But, uh… You do wanna do that, right? I mean it's chill if you don't. I'm cool with it. Like one of those green things in the veggie section. The green tube things- The tubes you cut up and put on your eyes.”</p><p>Gordon gave him the blankest look he could muster between his legs.</p><p>“... A cucumber. You mean a cucumber.”</p><p>“Uhhh… Sure, whatever. But it's fine- If you don't wanna that's, uh, fine. We’d be chill.”</p><p>Gordon did want to. He still ached between his legs, desperate for some form of attention even after Benrey killed the mood. But now he was thinking with his brain and not his dick, and that made him realize something.</p><p>“No, no, I want to- A lot, actually, but… I don't, uh, have any condoms.”</p><p>“Oh. I mean, I'm clean, if that's what you mean. I don't really… Get sick. Part of the whole, uh, ‘not human’ deal. Got a super clean and not gross penis. Shit’s squeaky clean. Fuckin’... Eat a steak off it. Or a dick. My dick-“</p><p>“Could you get me pregnant?” Gordon blurted out. It felt like bile was clawing its way into his throat as he said the words.</p><p>Gordon hadn't needed condoms since he was in his early twenties, and the ones he found a year ago in a dresser were long expired, so he threw them away and put ‘buying new condoms’ on the bottom of his to do list. But here he was now, wanting to get fucked after years of no action but entirely unprepared. He had been trying to save up for years to get his womb removed but it just seemed like life just wanted to make it as long and difficult as possible to do. He really was wishing that he was rich so he wouldn't have to be worrying about this when he was just trying to avoid having a child.</p><p>“Oh, no. It's uhhh… Not possible.” Benrey answered quickly, “Don't hafta worry about that.”</p><p>What.</p><p>“What.”</p><p>“Uhhhh…Can change my dna around. It won't happen.” He tapped on the bed with the tips of his fingers, “‘S really all there is to it.”</p><p>… Oh. More non human fuckery, apparently. Not that Gordon minded. He just had to ask before they did anything or he would most definitely have had a panic attack about it the next day.</p><p>“Ok… I’m not even gonna ask you to try and explain. But, for real? It won't happen?”</p><p>Benrey shook his head, “Nah, man. We’ll be fine.”</p><p>Gordon sighed, letting out a breath he hadn't known he had been unconsciously holding.</p><p>“Ok. That's- That's good, then.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Benrey smacked his lips, “So stand up.”</p><p>Gordon made a noise in the back of his throat. Oh jesus, it was happening. This was a thing that was happening, after so long, it was gonna fucking happen and his legs felt like they were stuck to the floor-</p><p>… Why did his legs feel so tingly?</p><p>Gordon shifted, trying to move his legs. Pins and needles went through his thighs and shins, making Gordon scowl to himself. His legs must have fallen asleep at some point and didn't notice. Great.</p><p>“Uh. My legs are asleep.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“I- I can't stand up. Because my legs are asleep.”</p><p>“Oh. Ok. That's fine.”</p><p>Gordon saw Benrey lean forward, his stomach rubbing against his face as he put his hands under his armpits.</p><p>Suddenly Gordon was in the air, lifted in Benrey’s hands as he stood up. He turned quickly, making Gordon's stomach churn as he was manhandled.</p><p>“Holy shit!-”</p><p>And just as quickly as he was lifted he was dropped, his back hitting the mattress. He bounced up and down a bit, the mattress squeaking from the sudden weight. Two hands grabbed his legs, dragging him to the end of the bed. Benrey hung heavy over him, slamming his hands beside his head as a wicked grin spread over his sweaty face.</p><p>“You ready to get fucked up?”</p><p>Despite the still present tingling in his legs, Gordon could feel them shake from excitement.</p><p>“Fuck yeah.” He whispered, smiling as he held Benrey's gaze.</p><p>A drop of sweat hit him on the chest as Benrey's fingers tightened on the sheets. Benrey leaned over him fully then, his mouth hovering over his neck as his teeth feathered over a section of unmarked skin.</p><p>“Sweet.”</p><p>Benrey sunk his teeth in, eliciting a loud groan from Gordon as he scratched his arms. His teeth only just pierced the skin, not wanting to injure Gordon but enough that it sent hot electricity from his neck straight to his dick. </p><p>Benrey removed his teeth, licking up the faint amount of blood that trickled out of the shallow bite marks. He felt a hand make its way to his torso, moving up and down his side as Benrey bit another mark into the junction between his shoulder and neck. The man above him groaned, sending deep vibrations into his neck that reverberated in his skull.</p><p>“Hhhholy shit- Ah, fuck-”</p><p>Benrey removed his teeth, bringing his mouth to his ear as his hand went lower and lower, trailing its way down to the hem of his pants.</p><p>“You remember earlier? The fuckin’- The party we went to? That weirdo who tried flirtin’ with you?” He whispered, breath tickling the shell of his ear, “Made me so mad. Wanted to just- Wanted to just throw you against the wall, stick it in you right there. Make you fuckin’ scream my name in front of that creep.”</p><p>Benrey's hand tugged his pants down ever so slightly, his boxer briefs slowly becoming visible in the darkness as it bunched around his mid thighs.</p><p>Gordon felt Benrey lick his ear before putting it between his teeth, pulling on it lightly while he shook under his touch. </p><p>“Still was thinkin’ about it at the car. Saw that- The tire bein’ all flat and it made me so mad. Might not’ve been him but- But it <i>could’ve</i> been and I- I just fuckin’ wanted to shove my dick in you and make you forget, make you feel good and not think about him.”</p><p>Gordon's nails dug into Benrey's shoulders, scratching at the pale skin-</p><p>Benrey pulled away, making eye contact with him as he ground his palm on his dick.</p><p>One of his hands shot up to his mouth, holding back a long moan as Benrey's hand moved, his curved palm cupping him completely. He lifted his hips, instinctively chasing more of that precious friction.</p><p>“Wow, you're really wet, huh?” Benrey said, not pausing as he spoke to him, “I get you that excited?”</p><p>Gordon groaned behind his hand, nodding as he felt his soaked boxers grind up against himself. He hadn't even noticed until Benrey started to touch him how wet he was.</p><p>“Don't- Don't cover your mouth, dude. Those sounds are like kisses to my brain. Like straight shots of serotonin.”</p><p>The hand that had been beside his head lifted, grabbing his wrist and pinning it to the bed. Gordon keened as Benrey slipped his thumb right over the head of his dick with a hard flourish. He tried to move his hand, tried to wriggle it out from underneath his grasp, but Benrey's hand was like an iron shackle, unmoving and uncaring of his struggle.</p><p>“That’ssss better… Haha.”</p><p>His underwear rubbed roughly against him as Benrey ground down harder, drawing out groans and whines from the smaller man as he switched between his fingers and his palm at random intervals. Gordon went from clawing at Benrey's shoulder to pawing at his chest, feeling the soft hair with his hand as his body shook. </p><p>“Maybe I don't- Uh, even need to get you ready. Can just stick it in right now. You’d like that? Huh? Bet you would.” Benrey said, not waiting for Gordon to respond as he continued, “But I- You won't be getting that right now. Got- God, so many things I wanna do. Ideas all bouncin’ around in my brain like uh… Ping pong balls. But I can't do ‘em all. Too impatient.”</p><p>Suddenly he shoved Gordon's boxers down, removing the hand pinning his wrist to the bed and moving away. He slotted himself between Gordon's legs, throwing them over his shoulders as his mouth hovered inches away from his dick. He stuck his tongue out as Gordon waited with baited breath-</p><p>Benrey's head turned, sinking his teeth Gordon's thigh. His legs spasmed, a whine that turned into a long moan as his tongue circled soft hair and stretch marks. Benrey dragged his teeth along the flesh, leaving reddening scratches before biting him again. </p><p>Gordon's hands found its way to Benrey's head, threading his fingers in his hair as he switched to the other thigh. He swapped between harsh bites and gentle licks, getting up any faint amounts of blood that would trickle out before sinking his teeth back into another spot. His dick throbbed painfully as he watched, nearly feeling like he would burst to tears if he wasn't touched again soon. God, he wanted his dick in Benrey's mouth so bad, tired of the teasing.</p><p>Benrey removed his mouth from his thigh, looking up at Gordon from his position in between his legs.</p><p>“Wish you could see that look on your face. You’d be so embarrassed. Got, uh… Tomato face. Getting lost in the sauce. Tomato sauce.”</p><p>“God, just- Shut up, please- Christ.” Gordon let out a shaky sigh, “You always know what not to say.”</p><p>“Ok.”</p><p>Benrey opened his mouth and licked a long stripe across Gordon's dick.</p><p>He cried out, back arching off the bed as Benrey took it into his mouth completely. He couldn't hold back the embarrassing moan that escaped his lips, his hands shooting up to cover his mouth once more-</p><p>Benrey's mouth popped off just as quickly, the sweet heat taken away that had Gordon thrusting his hips up chasing the feeling.</p><p>“Don't, uh- Don't do that. Shouldn't do that.” He stuck a tooth out, gently scrapping it along one of his lips, “What’d I just say earlier? Not a good listener. Gotta put your hands on my head.”</p><p>“Ffffuck off, Benrey.” Gordon mumbled behind his hands. His hips lifted again, trying to find his way back into Benrey's mouth instinctively. </p><p>Benrey's fingers dug into his hips, holding him still.</p><p>“Nah. Gotta do it. Gotta be good. Know you can do it. Or else, I’ll, uh… Blue ball you. Just get up n’ leave and you’ll be like ‘mluuuh Benrey- My, my bestest bro blue balled me noooo’ and I’ll be like-”</p><p>Gordon reached his hands down and shoved Benrey's face into his crotch, digging his fingers into his scalp. He felt Benrey grin against himself and chuckled, sending vibrations straight to his core.</p><p>Benrey’s lips parted as he took Gordon’s dick into his mouth again. He rolled his head around with his tongue, groaning as Gordon’s fingers tightened in his hair. God, it just as fucking good as he imagined it would, getting a blowjob from Benrey like he had been imagining for so long. And he was fucking <i>sloppy</i>, too, periodically sliding his tongue out to lick long, wet patterns up and around his dick.</p><p>But when Benrey closed his lips tightly around his dick and <i>sucked</i> was when Gordon completely fell apart. Words were beyond him as white hot electricity spread from his core to his legs as Benrey sucked him off. Benrey growled when Gordon let out a especially loud moan, lightly bouncing his head up and down as his fingers made bruises in the former scientist's hips. Saliva dripped from Gordon's crotch to his ass before pooling onto the sheets, making a large wet spot beneath him. </p><p>Benrey’s eyes were half lidded as he watched Gordon struggle to do anything other than squirm.</p><p>He removed his mouth, his tongue lolling out of his mouth to lick his dick once before asking, “You gettin’ close?”</p><p>Gordon whined as he attempted to thrust his pinned hips into Benrey's mouth.</p><p>“Better tell me when you’re about to. You gotta tell me- Gotta be good.”</p><p>He nodded, biting his lip as he squeezed his eyes shut when Benrey resumed. Gordon was trying as hard as he could not to finish early as Benrey began to add tongue to his sucking motions, the tip of it rubbing against his head while his head bobbed. He tried to think of anything other than what was happening, wanting to make it last as long as possible. But it was so hard, the sensations overpowering everything so much that it was all he could focus on.</p><p>Fuck, Gordon was going to cum at the rate Benrey was going, his sucking getting harder and faster, losing himself as he pleasured Gordon-</p><p>He tapped Benrey's head rapidly, trying to get his attention.</p><p>“Gonna- Gonna cum, ‘m gonna cum-” He breathed, his voice soft and light as he tried to get air into his lungs. He was so fucking close, he needed it, needed that sweet release-</p><p>Benrey popped off of his dick, a strand of saliva dripping out between his lips. A long and pitiful noise escaped Gordon's mouth that he would have been self conscious over if he wasn't more concerned that Benrey just edged the fuck out of him.</p><p>Benrey took a deep breath as he wiped the spit off his mouth onto the bed, “‘M kinda, uh… That good, huh?”</p><p>Gordon was unable to respond, only able to nod his head on the bed as he shakily touched Benrey's head. The former guard tapped his fingers on his hips, humming to himself.</p><p>After a few seconds Gordon collected his thoughts, opening his mouth a few times as he came down from his natural high, “... Holy- Holy fuck, dude.”</p><p>“Yeah… Haha, uh. Got any requests? Before I get to the other part. I mean, if you even- If you still wanna do that.”</p><p>“I do,” Gordon said quickly, “That, ah… Hasn't changed.”</p><p>Benrey nodded between his legs once, “Cool. Dope.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>They were both quiet for a few moments before Benrey broke the silence, “So… You actually wanna do somethin’ else or…?”</p><p>… In a moment of horny weakness his mind went to a place it only went to when he was masturbating.</p><p>“I mean- Kinda? But it's- It’s kinda extreme.”</p><p>“Dude. I nearly fucking creamed my pants runnin’ after you earlier. I think you're fine. Just say what's goin’ through that big brain of yours. Fuckin’... I’ll do whatever you want, man. Wanna make you feel good. Show you… Show you how much I love you. And your dick.”</p><p>Gordon's eyes flickered down to Benrey's reddened lips, then back up to his eyes.</p><p>“Ah… Ok, I- I guess. Remember, like, months ago, y'know? With the ice cream… You, uh, stuck your tongue in it and ruined it?”</p><p>Benrey looked at Gordon blankly.</p><p>“Yknow,” Gordon waved his hands near his face, “Your tongue got all long and stuff? Remember that? And your mouth got all fucked up?”</p><p>A glimmer of recognition shined in Benrey's eyes.</p><p>“Oh, yeah. Your face was soooo funny. And sexy, but- Uh. Mostly funny. Only funny, actually. Not sexy at all. What?”</p><p>“What? I probably looked like I was gonna shit my pants in fear. How could you find that sexy?”</p><p>“Huh? Wuh?”</p><p>Gordon groaned in frustration, “Never- Nevermind. Whatever. It’s dumb. Shouldn't have even brought it up.”</p><p>Benrey squeezed his hips for a moment, “Nono, don't- You gotta say it, bro. You gotta tell me what you need. I'm all ears.”</p><p>“... Only if you're not weird about it,” Gordon made a face, “Or laugh at me.”</p><p>“I won't. So you hafta tell me… Please.”</p><p>Gordon nodded to himself. Now he just had to word it without sounding like a total freak.</p><p>“Ok… Uh. I kinda, ah, want- Want that tongue… In me.”</p><p>Benrey didn't blink, silent as he stared at him from the chin rest that was his pubic bone. After a few seconds Benrey opened his mouth again.</p><p>“Sorry, wasn't listening. Say that again?”</p><p>“Don't-“ Gordon rubbed his eyes to hide momentarily from his gaze, the beginnings of humiliation coursing through his being, “Don't make me say that again.”</p><p>“Mmmmyeah, you gotta. I don't listen too well. Have to repeat yourself for me.”</p><p>Gordon took a deep breath, steeling himself before looking Benrey in the eyes.</p><p>“I want- I want you to put that tongue inside me.” </p><p>Benrey smiled contentedly as he observed Gordon's flushed and frustrated face.</p><p>“Nice. ‘S what I thought you said.” Benrey said, lifting his head and going back between his thighs.</p><p>“So you did actually hear me? Fuck off, dude.”</p><p>“Nah,” Benrey said, shifting Gordon's legs still on his shoulders, “Can't get me to go away that easily. You're stuck with me now.”</p><p>His eyes flickered up to Gordon again, “But, uh… You ready?”</p><p>Gordon nodded once, “Yeah. I'm ready.”</p><p>“Cool.”</p><p>Benrey's fingers dug into his hips once again, keeping him still as he heard something in Benrey's jaw <i>snap</i>.</p><p>Gordon could only watch as Benrey's jaw broke, opening his mouth inhumanely wide to allow an equally inhuman long tongue to slither out. The skin around his mouth began to split, showing glimmers of his sharp teeth as bits of saliva dripped out. </p><p>He couldn’t react before Benrey’s tongue moved, forcing its way inside of him without warning.</p><p>He gritted his teeth, trying to cut off a moan that almost turned into a scream. He could feel himself stretching around Benrey’s tongue, muscles and areas that hadn’t been used or touched in so long, if not ever, were being made to contort too quickly. </p><p>“Fuckfuckfuck- Hah, w-wait!” He cried out, feeling Benrey start to move his tongue inside him.</p><p>Benrey paused, looking up at him worriedly.</p><p>“You good, man?”</p><p>Gordon took a few shaky breathes, trying to get accustomed to his tongue's sheer girth. He hadn’t expected it to just be so fucking <i>big</i>. Gordon hadn't put anything in himself besides his fingers in a very long time, but he had thought that since he was so wet combined with Benrey's slick tongue that it would be fine regardless of size. That goes to show just how naive his past self from ten seconds ago was.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah- Just… Gimme a second.”</p><p>“Alright.”</p><p>He sat there for a minute, moving his legs a bit as he got used to the feeling. Eventually it started to feel less like something slimy was trying to rip him open and more like something slimy was just inside him.</p><p>He coughed, unsure how to tell Benrey he was ready.</p><p>“Ok. I’m- I’m good.”</p><p>“Dope- Uh. Cool. Let’s fuckin’... Do this shit then.”</p><p>Benrey began slowly, his tongue carefully moving back and forth inside him. It was sinfully warm, licking along his walls as Gordon unconsciously opened his legs wider.</p><p>Gordon let out a sigh that turned into a low moan, feeling the tip of his tongue flick against something deep inside of him.</p><p>“Taste real fuckin’ good. Goin’ straight to the source here. Slurpin’ it up like uh… Yogurt.”</p><p>“Please shut up- Jesus, Benrey-“ He moaned, “Keep- Ah, keep going but christ, don't fucking call my cum ‘yogurt’.”</p><p>“Why not though. Could call it uh… Cream cheese. Or- Wait, the- Like the water when you cook macaroni and it gets all cloudy and white-”</p><p>Gordon groaned loudly, trying to interrupt Benrey's train of thought so he didnt talk about the fucking starch in macaroni water. How the hell he could talk about food in a situation like this was beyond him.</p><p>… Hold up.</p><p>“Wait, how the fuck are you even talking right now?”</p><p>Benrey gave Gordon a blank stare, tongue pausing in its actions as he responded, “Don’t, uh, think about it too hard.”</p><p>… Had Gordon had that headache the whole time? It was like a thin layer of pain covering his brain, sending faint tingles of discomfort through his head and down his neck. Benrey rolled his eyes as Gordon massaged his temple.</p><p>“Just told you not to think about it.”</p><p>Jesus, he hadn't noticed before but Benrey's voice was echoing in his fucking <i>mind</i>, faintly reverberating in his skull with each word. He was just too damn horny earlier to have noticed.</p><p>“It's kind of hard not to think about.” Gordon said, “How the hell can I not think about it?”</p><p>Benrey looked between Gordon and the tongue still inside him, then back up again. Without warning his tongue retracted, nearly leaving him entirely before it thrusted back in. Gordon nearly squealed, unable to think of anything else other than <i>warmbigwet </i>as Benrey set up a hard yet slow pace, lazily moving his tongue in and out of him.</p><p>The muscles in Gordon's legs grew pained, tightening repeatedly as he tried to move, attempting to get closer to Benrey's face. He was getting so impatient- Being edged so close earlier made him extra sensitive, every flick and simple movement of Benrey's tongue drove him wild. But Benrey wouldn't let him move, wouldn't let him get closer and try to put more inside of him, make him go faster, do <i>anything</i>.</p><p>Gordon threw his head back onto the pillow, groaning in simultaneous frustration and pleasure when Benrey's tongue stopped in its motions, coiling inside as Benrey made a noise that almost sounded like a content purr.</p><p>“Taste so good. So, so good.” He said, speaking into his mind as he rubbed his fingers lovingly into Gordon's skin, “Drivin’ me wild with those noises. Makin’ ‘em cause of me. You’re- You’re so good to me.”</p><p>“Benrey- Ah, AH, fuck- I, I need you to go faster, Benrey.”</p><p>“Say it again. Say it and I will.” </p><p>“Benrey, Ben- I need it, faster- Go faster- Gonna fucking explode-”</p><p>Benrey's tongue twisted inside him violently, eliciting a high keen from Gordon as his pace increased. It thrusted in and out with such force that it made his head spin, his head turning to the side as he squirmed. It had been years since something this big was inside of him. And it was Benrey who was doing it, Benrey, the one he loved who was tongue fucking him so viciously. His fingers found their way to Benrey's own on his thighs, trying to confirm it was him, that it was really happening. Benrey's hands lifted from their perch on his hips for just a moment, clasping Gordon's own underneath his grip as he growled.</p><p>“You like that? Like gettin’ fucked with my tongue? Makin’ all those noises… Somethin’ only I can do. Say it.”</p><p>“Hhhhah,” Gordon keened, fingers attempting to flex under Benrey's grasp, “Ben- Benrey, only you, only you can do it, Benrey.”</p><p>Benrey growled, a deep guttural sound reverberating from his chest. His tongue coiled, twisting in ways that a human tongue couldn't. He brought his head closer, trying to fit more of his tongue inside of Gordon. It was so much, Gordon was being stretched so wide, so so wide, he could feel the heat pooling in his stomach again. The familiar heat that he had felt earlier, he was getting close again. His breath hitched, trying desperately to breathe as he felt his core tighten more and more, getting so close to the edge, chasing the release because it was right there again, he was right <i>there-</i></p><p>The tongue withdrew with such a speed that it nearly made Gordon scream from frustration. He clawed desperately at the bed as a high choked noise came out of his throat. He wrapped his legs tightly around Benrey's shoulders, trying to draw him in closer and get him to finish what he started.</p><p>Benrey untangled Gordon's legs off of him and stood, leering down at him with an all too pleased look in his eyes. He withdrew the long tongue back into his mouth, sliding quickly back inside with a gnash of his teeth as the skin around the skin around his mouth sewed itself shut. Benrey rolled his jaw around, a disturbing crunching sound reverberating in the room while he set his jaw back into place. He finally opened his mouth after a particularly loud <i>pop</i>, sharp teeth visible as he smirked at Gordon.</p><p>“You should <i>really</i> see the look on your face now. Look so cute when you’re mad.”</p><p>“Fuck you,” Gordon breathed, core aching painfully from the sudden lack of stimulation, “Fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou I fucking hate you, christ almighty. Dickhead.”</p><p>Gordon was going to kill Benrey after they were through. It was driving him insane, being edged twice in such a short amount of time.</p><p>“Can't fucking- Can't believe you. Should've let me finish.”</p><p>“Nah,” Benrey replied quickly, “If you’re gonna cum it's gonna happen on my dick.”</p><p>Gordon felt his mind stop, his horny induced anger turning into liquid desire that made his limbs tingle from excitement. His eyes trailed down to Benrey's dick, hanging heavy between his legs. He’d very much like to have it inside of him. Have Benrey panting and growling above him as he fucked him, fucked his prey that he caught in the woods. He ached the longer he thought about it.</p><p>“Then do it then. Fuck me already.” Gordon breathed, “Just- Just fuck me. I'm dying here.”</p><p>Benrey hummed, observing Gordon sprawled before him. Seeing how tall Benrey was above him made him have a fleeting thought about how exactly sex would work between them since Benrey was just so <i>big</i>, but he didn't care. He wasn't thinking rationally anymore. He just needed to get what remained of his thoughts fucked out of him.</p><p>“Maybe I will if you, uh…” He flicked a nail in between his teeth, scratching at his gums momentarily, “Say it a bit nicer.”</p><p>“Fffuck Benrey- Don't-“ Gordon fidgeted, debating on if he should just touch himself at the rate this was going, “You gonna make me beg for it?”</p><p>Benrey paused, face going blank for just a moment like he was processing what Gordon had said. But a second later, a too wide grin went across his face, giving Gordon a look of pure predatory <i>hunger</i>.</p><p>“Yeah. <i>Beg</i>.”</p><p>Something in Gordon's gut twisted. He wasn't sure if it was general horniness or how small he felt under Benrey's gaze. It was probably a mixture of both, honestly. </p><p>“Fuck off, j- Just get up on the bed,” Gordon tried to sit up, scooting up the bed a bit, “I'm not gonna beg-”</p><p>Benrey grabbed his legs faster than he thought was possible, dragging Gordon back to his previous position before lifting his ass up into the air with his large hands. His legs were forced to stretch wide as Benrey slotted himself between them. The broad man's dick sat heavy on Gordon's stomach, making him swallow with want.</p><p>“You have to be nice. I’ll give you what you want but you gotta- You gotta be nice. Got a pretty voice so it shouldn't, uh, be too hard. So c’mon… Beg a lil’. Tell me what you need.”</p><p>… Fuck, Gordon wished he wasn't so easy. But it had been way, way too long since he had any action. Combined with the edging and teasing from earlier and Gordon was desperate. He would do anything for Benrey to fuck him, even if it meant feeding into his already overinflated ego.</p><p>“Fuck me,” Gordon's voice wavered, “Please.”</p><p>Benrey moved his hips forward slowly, rubbing the underside of his dick against Gordon's. His voice cracked as he continued, “Please, Benrey, please fuck me, I- I need it, quit teasing me.”</p><p>God, Gordon wished he could kiss the pleased as punch look off of Benrey's face. His eyes radiated satisfaction as he watched Gordon beg for him.</p><p>“Gotta do better than that.” Benrey said, voice taking on a dark quality that made Gordon's mind spin, “Say it with your chest. Say it loud enough the neighbors get mad. Want ‘em all to know how bad you wanna get fucked by me.”</p><p>His face was red with growing embarrassment through the flush of desire as he raised his voice.</p><p>“Please fuck me, Benrey. Please, please, please-”</p><p>One of Benrey's hands moved, able to lift him one handed as he moved his hips back slightly. His other hand aligned his dick with Gordon's hole, grazing the warm head up against him.</p><p>“Please, Benrey, please, fuck me- I need you to fuck me, God, please!” Gordon felt like he was going to cry from frustration, his words resounding loudly in the otherwise silent room, “P- Please, Benrey, I need you in me, please-”</p><p>Benrey snapped his hips forward, entering Gordon with such force that it ripped a scream out of him. Gordon could feel Benrey's dick stretch him out still as he bottomed out, the thick head pushing against something deep inside him.</p><p>The noise that Benrey made as he sat inside of him was worth the begging, though. It was music to his ears as Benrey made a long, drawn out moan of his own as his hand found its way back to his ass again.</p><p>“Hhhooooooly <i>shit</i>, Gordon. Real fuckin’ warm. Ohhhh fuck.”</p><p>Gordon whined, feeling so utterly full it made him want to cry from relief. But then Benrey began to pull his hips back, drawing out such a pathetic noise from Gordon's throat he thought he was going to die right there from lack of dick.</p><p>Benrey didn't pause as he whispered to Gordon from above him, “‘S ok, ‘M gonna give you what you need. Gonna give it to you cause you were good. You were so good.”</p><p>Gordon shook in Benrey's grip as he pulled back until only the tip remained inside of him. It was only a few seconds but to his too aroused mind it was an eternity, painfully aware of just how empty and wanting he was.</p><p>But when Benrey finally thrusted his hips forward again he swore he could hear heaven’s bells somewhere underneath his own moan.</p><p>Benrey started to set up a slow pace, soft slapping noises filling the room over Gordon's gasps. He was just so fucking <i>full</i> and stretching him in such a way he felt like he was going to explode. Benrey's tongue from earlier was big but it had give to it somewhat, but his dick was another story. But god if it didn't feel amazing. It was everything he imagined and better.</p><p>“Such a good boy- So good to me, Gordon.” Benrey chanted, not stopping in his motions as he spoke, “Feel so good, mmmm<i>fuck-</i> ‘S hard not to- Not to cum just from this. Want to so bad.”</p><p>“Don't- Not yet, please-“ Gordon panted, “Please, d- Don't.”</p><p>Benrey shook his head, a drop of sweat flinging somewhere onto the floor, “I won’t. I won’t, Gordon. Hah, Fuuuuuuuck…”</p><p>A hand left his hip, the other compensating by gripping him tight enough to bruise. Gordon had a vague thought through the cloud of pleasure that he was going to have quite a lot of bruises in the morning. But that just made a pleased groan escape his mouth, thinking about how marked up he was going to be. He wanted proof that Benrey was there, show the world that Gordon was his.</p><p>The hand that left made its way to Gordon's lower stomach, touching him almost reverently as Benrey fucked him.</p><p>“So amazing, Gordon. Fittin’ so much in you… So perfect. Just for me. So, so good to me.”</p><p>Benrey sped up ever so slightly, letting out a shaky laugh while Gordon's sounds increased. Gordon's whole body tingled with pleasure, white hot electricity travelling up his spine to his clouded mind with each and every snap of Benrey's hips. His legs tried to wrap around the broad man's hips but couldn't fully, only able to dig his heels into his lower back as he tried to pull him closer.</p><p>“Benrey, oh my god, holy shit-” Gordon panted, clawing at the sheets, “Jesus <i>chriiiiist</i> go faster, please, oh my god.”</p><p>The hand that was on his stomach made its way back to his hips as Benrey thrusted particularly hard, making Gordon's head snap back on the bed, exposing his marked throat for all to see.</p><p>“Don't call out for god, bro. Say my name instead.”</p><p>The noise that Gordon let out couldn't be adequately described, a combination of a wheeze and a high pitched whine as Benrey rolled his hips forward with harsh yet painstakingly slow thrusts. Spit and pre cum dripped from Gordon as an unholy mixture of Benrey's name and moans left his lips, spurring Benrey's smile on his face ever wider as he watched Gordon come undone with every motion.</p><p>Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Gordon couldn't take it anymore. He needed the other man on top of him, needed him even closer than he was while he fucked him.</p><p>“Benrey, ffffucking- Get on top of me, please, Benrey. Please, please.” He breathed. His lungs felt like they were on fire, trying to draw in as much air as possible.</p><p>Benrey groaned, rolling his head to the side as he cracked his neck, “Dunno- Dunno how. ‘M a big guy, don't wanna hurt you. ‘N I wanna see your face. Need to see your face while I fuck you, Gordon.”</p><p>“Please, I- I'm begging you Benrey, please. Do it, get- Get on top of me, please.”</p><p>Benrey growled, nails clawing at his hips. Gordon let out a high keen as Benrey said, “Fuck, can't- I can't say no to you. Can never say no to you, Gordon. Fuckin’... Drive me insane. So goddamn sexy when you say my name like that.”</p><p>Suddenly, Benrey withdrew himself, leaving Gordon painfully aware of how empty he was. Benrey put his hips down, letting his legs hang off the bed as he stared down at him with a lustful gaze.</p><p>“Get up on the bed.” Benrey ordered.</p><p>Gordon listened, scooting up the bed as Benrey followed, bed squeaking with each motion. Benrey crawled on top of him, observing Gordon's flushed face and chest as sweat glistened on his body as his stomach hung heavy on top of him.</p><p>“So fuckin’- You're so pretty.” Benrey said, leaning in to quickly kiss him. It was harsh but short lived, their teeth gnashing together before Benrey drew away quickly. He began to pepper Gordon's jaw with kisses, muttering to him as he did so.</p><p>“So cute.” <i>kiss</i>, “You’re so fucking perfect.” <i>another kiss</i>, “Love you so much,” <i>a kiss on his neck</i>, “Love you so fucking much.”</p><p>“I love you too- I love you so much, Benrey.” Gordon said, hands rubbing the arms beside him as Benrey began to lavish him with even more affection.</p><p>Benrey growled, teeth scraping down his already tender and bruised neck, raising even more marks as his teeth dug in painfully. Gordon raised his hips in the air, trying desperately to get any sort of friction, get Benrey to keep fucking him, <i>anything</i>.</p><p>“Benrey, please, please…” He murmured, eyes lidded as he pleaded with him.</p><p>“I know, Gordon, I- I’m gonna give it to you, just gotta wait, please.” Benrey said against his collar bone, “Doing so good, so good just for me, just wait a lil’ bit longer, please Gordon.”</p><p>Gordon nodded, trying his best to wait patiently even as every nerve in his body screamed to be fucked while Benrey kissed down his collar bone to his chest. Benrey took a long breath against his chest, rubbing his face against it. The barely there stubble on Benrey's face tickled, making Gordon squirm a bit as he fought back the need to scratch at it-</p><p>Benrey suddenly took the meatiest part of his chest and bit, his teeth just barely piercing the flesh. </p><p>The former guard groaned, sending deep vibrations into Gordon's ribs as he cried out. And fuck, it felt so good, so, so good, Gordon wanted more. Whatever Benrey would give him he wanted more because it was Benrey and he loved him so much it made him want to cry.</p><p>“Harder, Benrey-” The words spilled from Gordon's mouth before he could stop them, “Please, bite me harder.”</p><p>Benrey lifted his head quickly, looking at Gordon in confusion, “... Huh?”</p><p>“Need you to- I need you to bite me harder. Please.” Gordon said, “I want it. Feels so good when you do that.”</p><p>Benrey shook his head.</p><p>“I don't… I don't wanna hurt you. Never wanna hurt you.”</p><p>“I'm asking you to,” He squeezed Benrey's arms, “So please, just- Bite me harder, please.”</p><p>“I…” Benrey looked between Gordon's face and his chest, the internal debate in his mind obvious to anyone who saw it. He lifted a hand, rubbing a almost invisible droplet of blood with his thumb before trailing down to his top surgery scar, touching it reverently. He muttered something under his breath before looking back up at Gordon.</p><p>“If I- If I do that you gotta tell me if I fuck up,” Benrey said quickly, “You have to, I can't- I can't handle hurting you. I- I’d-”</p><p>“You won't. I’ll tell you. I won't keep anything from you. So please…”</p><p>He smiled softly up at Benrey, hoping his blind trust in the other man was visible, “Just bite me already.”</p><p>Benrey didn’t respond, only staring at Gordon as he took a deep breath. But then he put his head back quickly, closing his eyes as he sunk his teeth in and broke the skin completely.</p><p>Gordon let out a high pitched moan that was closer to a scream as Benrey gutturaly groaned, teeth stuck in the flesh as blood began to be drawn. He felt Benrey's tongue lick at the mixture of sweat and blood as he buried his teeth deeper, eliciting whines of pain and pleasure from the smaller man. The pain was so much stronger than he could have thought it would ever be, but fuck if it didn't make him want more. It made his body shake with desire as Benrey moaned while licking up his blood.</p><p>Benrey lifted his head, sinking his teeth into yet another part of his chest. Gordon began to scratch at Benrey's back, nails digging into him as his teeth sent wave after wave of heat coursing through him.</p><p>“Benrey, Benrey, haaAAH-” Gordon moaned, moving his head from side to side from the pillow, “Holy- Oh fuck, Benrey, oh fuck-”</p><p>He reached between his legs, playing with his dick because he couldn't handle it anymore, he had to touch himself or else he was going to go crazy, he needed it, needed it so bad-</p><p>Benrey grabbed his arm and roughly yanked it away, pinning it to the bed as he growled, sinking his teeth in further. Gordon's voice cracked loudly as he moaned, writhing as he tried to break his arm free. But Benrey's hand was strong, like an unmovable weight as he marked Gordon again. The other man removed his teeth from Gordon, giving him a dark look that sent shivers down his spine. Benrey's lips were covered with blood, staining his lips dark red in the visible light from the window. His tongue stuck out of his mouth, licking his lips slowly as if he was savoring every stray drop stuck to them.</p><p>“Don't.” Benrey stated simply.</p><p>Gordon wasn't sure if the shivers that went down his spine were from pleasure or fear. All he knew was that when Benrey put his head down and bit him again he didn't try again with the other hand, choosing to run it through Benrey's short hair. Benrey bit him over and over again, sinking his teeth into the increasingly tender flesh as Gordon panted and groaned, dick painfully hard as he squirmed. His hair was matted with sweat, sticking to the back of his neck against the increasingly dampened pillow.</p><p>Finally, after what felt like ages, Benrey lifted his mouth for the final time, licking long lines on his hairy skin as he got every single drop of blood up. Gordon's chest was covered in bite after bite, visible in the lighting from Benrey's eyes. The flesh was inflamed and puffy, dozens of teeth marks littering him but clean of blood. But Benrey's mouth was a different story as he sat up and looked at Gordon, covered with even more blood than earlier. </p><p>Benrey maintained eye contact with Gordon as he opened his mouth and obscenely licked his teeth, getting up each and every single drop of blood that discolored them. A bloody drop of spit dripped out of the corner of his mouth as his tongue danced across his teeth, travelling down his face to his chin until it finally dropped down onto Gordon's stomach.</p><p>“... O- Oh fuck, Benrey,” Gordon finally said, “That was… That was great. Holy shit-”</p><p>Benrey unpinned his arm to grab his legs, throwing them up against his stomach as he began to hunch himself over Gordon. It forced his body to contort, lifting his hips up into the air again as Benrey adjusted himself and Gordon to his liking before putting his hands beside his head. He felt squished underneath the larger man, legs forced up against Benrey's chest as his stomach hung heavy onto him. But fuck if it wasn't hot, being manhandled and effectively pinned by him. He could feel Benrey's dick lined up with his hole, and Gordon swallowed, pure need coursing through his veins.</p><p>Suddenly, Benrey spoke.</p><p>“Look me in the eye.”</p><p>Gordon blinked, looking up from Benrey's stomach to his eyes.</p><p>Before he could react, Benrey snapped his hips into Gordon, entering him without warning. The previously dark and heated look on Benrey’s face turned into one of pleasure as Gordon <i>screamed</i>.</p><p>Benrey set up a harsh pace, loud slapping sounds echoing in the room as the mattress squeaked underneath them. He was so deep inside him, so much more than earlier due to the new positioning, and it drove Gordon wild, scratching at Benrey as he fucked him. Benrey didn't say anything, only snarls and moans escaping his mouth as he slid his dick in and out of him. The hands beside Gordon's head tightened in the sheets as Gordon threw his head back and let out a particularly high sound.</p><p>“Benrey! Oh, Oh fuck, holy shit- AH-”</p><p>His hands felt so awkward, unsure what to do with them as he touched Benrey's skin. But then Benrey rolled his hips forward, somehow stretching Gordon wider even further as his dick rubbed up against something inside of him that had him seeing <i>stars</i>, and his mouth uttered the first words that came to his mind.</p><p>“Haaah, shit- Shit, Benrey, fuck-” Gordon said, “Ffffucking shit, grab my- Grab my wrists. Please, please, pin me down, please.”</p><p>Benrey’s hands moved, grabbing his wrists in a near bruising grip as he pinned them above his head. He moved one hand, managing to encase both of Gordon's wrists underneath his large palm as the other grabbed a leg, trying to keep him in place as he continued to fuck the smaller man.</p><p>Gordon's legs ached from the awkward angle, mixing with the dull pain covering his chest, but it felt so good, adding extra layers of pleasure that made squeal under Benrey's demanding pace.</p><p>“You fucking like that? You like bein’ manhandled like that?” Benrey suddenly said. His mouth didn't move as he continued, voice echoing in Gordon's brain, “You- You like this shit?”</p><p>Gordon nodded, a stray drop of sweat dripping down his face, “Yes, fuck yes, Benrey. I love it- Love you-”</p><p>Benrey growled, fingers tightening around his wrists.</p><p>“Love you too. Love you so much. Fuckin’- God, you feel so good, Gordon.”</p><p>Hearing Benrey telepathically speak to him made his brain hurt through the haze of lust, but he didn't care because Benrey said he loved him again, and Gordon wanted to get those words tattooed on his brain so he could hear them forever.</p><p>“Do you- Do you want me to go faster? You need me to fuck you harder?” Benrey asked him, not pausing in his motions while he did.</p><p>“Fuck yes, please, Benrey, please go faster.” Gordon begged, legs tensing and untensing against Benrey's stomach, “I need it- I- faaaah- I need you, please.”</p><p>“Say thank you, then.” Benrey said, the words leaving his mouth instead of being fed into his mind, “Thank me and I will.”</p><p>Gordon bit his lip, trying to hold back a whine as he processed Benrey's demand. God, something was seriously wrong with him, because nothing sounded better than just that. He was definitely going to go to hell.</p><p>“Thank you- Thank you-“ He moaned, words pouring out of him, “Ben- Benrey, haaah, thank you-“</p><p>The hand on his wrists tightened, shoving them down further into the bed as Benrey's thrusts quickened. The squeaking of the mattress grew even louder, the springs sounding like they were going to violently pop out underneath him. </p><p>“Keep sayin’ it,” Benrey grinned, sweat dripping from his forehead as he watched Gordon writhe, “Ffffuck yeah, keep- Keep thanking me, Gordon.”</p><p>Gordon's hips ached, everything ached but it felt so good and he never wanted it to stop. He wanted to be caught in their dance of flesh for eternity, caught in Benrey's arms until the heat death of the universe destroyed them.</p><p>Benrey didn't stop, listening to Gordon moan between breathy ‘thank you’s’ and ‘please’s’ as the heat in Gordon's core grew stronger and stronger. He knew he couldn't last much longer, his sounds increasing in volume as he lost himself even more. He was sure he was loud, loud enough that the neighbors could hear, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to finish, wanted Benrey to fuck him so hard he couldn't walk.</p><p>“I- I'm close, Benrey- Ah, ah, I'm so close, please, I need to- I need to cum.” </p><p>“You wanna cum?” Benrey asked, voice switching between his mind and his mouth as he snapped his hips harshly, “Yeah you fuckin’ do. Wanna cum around my dick cause- Cause I’m the one makin’ you, hah<i>shit</i>, makin’ you feel so good. God, fuck, I love you so much. You can- You can cum. You can cum, Gordon.”</p><p>Benrey’s hand that had been beside Gordon's head reached down underneath his own stomach and touched his dick, which was the final straw that made Gordon come undone.</p><p>He threw his head back and let out a moan that was downright sinful, his entire body tensing as he came. It was as if a rubber band snapped violently in his core, spreading heat suddenly through his being as unintelligible words and noises spilled from his lips. Benrey thrusted slowly in him, dragging Gordon's orgasm out as long as he could, stroking his dick all the while. Finally, Gordon started to come down, leaving his limbs feeling simultaneously like putty and stone, unable to move as he panted.</p><p>“... Ohhhh fuck, Benrey.” He finally said, throat beginning to feel raw, “That- That was amazing.”</p><p>“... Yeah.” Benrey replied, unpinning his wrists as he sat up, putting his hands on Gordon's hips once more, “Was realllll nice. Gonna get- Gotta have that O-face of yours engraved on my eyes.”</p><p>Gordon let out a laugh, wrists still tingling above his head from how hard Benrey had pinned them. Benrey began to move his hips a bit faster, showing Gordon just how sensitive he was after the furious fucking he just endured. Gordon gasped, hands finding their way to Benrey's.</p><p>“You, uh, don't mind if I finish, do you?” Benrey asked. What was a smile on his face quickly turned to a nervous look as he continued, “I mean, I can stop. If you don't wanna keep going.”</p><p>Gordon furrowed his brows in confusion, “What? I- Of course I want you to keep going.”</p><p>“... You sure? I… Uh. I don't think I can go easy on you.”</p><p>“Benrey. You bit the fuck out of my chest till you drew blood.” Gordon gestured to his torso, “And I loved it. I kinda like it rough if you couldn't tell already.”</p><p>“Tell me then. Tell me what you want me to do.” Benrey said, voice growing rough even under his nervous demeanor, “I’d do it. Just for you, I’d do it.”</p><p>Benrey's hands rubbed small circles into his hips, waiting for Gordon to answer. Even beyond the anxious look Benrey was giving him, Gordon could see the love underlying in it. His heart swelled the longer he looked into those inhuman eyes. He patted Benrey’s hand with his own as he smiled.</p><p>“I want you to finish, dude. I want you to fuck me again till you’re done… And it better be hard.”</p><p>… A slow, evil grin gradually plastered itself on Benrey's face as he processed what Gordon said.</p><p>“Alright.”</p><p>Benrey rolled his hips forward with such a ferocity it had what remained of Gordon’s muscles screaming in pleasure. His hoarse throat released a drawn out groan as Benrey fucked him hard, stabilizing him with his thick hands on his hips. Benrey moaned above him, mouth still stained with old blood as he breathed heavily.</p><p>Gordon was being overstimulated from the harsh sex, his poor insides beginning to ache after coming down just a minute ago, but fuck if the expression on Benrey's face wasn't worth it. Hearing the noises Benrey was making was music to his ears as he roughly slammed in and out of him like he would die if he stopped.</p><p>But Gordon heard something else, too.</p><p>It was like a cacophony of rough whispers, slowly making his brain ache as it entered his mind. He didn't understand what they were saying, the syllables so garbled and unpronounceable it sent his mind reeling. The words clawed at his grey matter, piercing the clouded thoughts that remained until all he could focus on was the whispers and Benrey's thrusts.</p><p>His eyes grew lidded, the ache in his mind growing stronger with each word, only able to groan as Benrey sped up.</p><p>In between the whispers, however, he could hear Benrey's voice. They mixed with the incomprehensible whispers, words like ‘Gordon’, ‘I love you’ and various curses filled his brain. He focused on Benrey's mouth, seeing him chant the same words silently as he fucked him roughly. It made him grip his hands tighter, letting him know that he heard him. </p><p>He heard Benrey growl loudly, shaking his head as he closed his eyes momentarily.</p><p>“Sorry,” He said aloud, voice rough, “Hard- Hard to talk- Fuckin’ shit, Gordon- Don’t listen- Don't focus on that. Listen to me instead.”</p><p>“Benrey, oh fuck,” Gordon chanted, “Oh fuck, oh shit, shit, Benrey-”</p><p>Benrey began to ramble, his voice speaking louder than the ones in his mind, “I love you- I love you so much, Gordon. You know that? <i>Ahhh</i>, shit, shit, I- I love you so much. You’ve ruined me. Makin’ me so soft. But I- I love you so much I don't care. Want you so bad, can't- I can't imagine life without you. I love you, I love you- Please, Gordon, ohshit- Shit.”</p><p>“I love you too, Benrey, please- Oh fuck, Benrey, please.”</p><p>“I’m gonna- I’m gonna cum soon.” Benrey said, watching Gordon gasp for air below him, “Where- Where do you-”</p><p>Gordon didn't hesitate as he answered, “Inside, please, need it inside me. Want it so bad.”</p><p>Benrey sped up, the slapping sounds of his hips against Gordon's flesh ungodly loud as a primal noise escaped from deep inside his chest, “<i>Shit</i>, Gordon, You want- You need some cum in you? I’ll fuckin’- I’ll give you it. I’ll give you what you need.”</p><p>His thrusts became more frantic, losing any semblance of rhythm as he rutted inside of Gordon, desperate for release. He babbled and rambled above him, drowning the whispers in his mind out completely.</p><p>“Gordon, I- I’m gonna,” Benrey groaned, “You ready?”</p><p>“Fuck yes, please-”</p><p>Gordon's lidded eyes opened completely as a thin crack splintered across Benrey's face. </p><p>It went through his eye all the way down his chin, light pouring out of the sudden crack like the sun peeking through narrow blinds. It was alluring, so beautiful to look at even in its horrific unnaturalness that he couldn't look away.</p><p>Benrey’s eyes widened as well, seeming to grow even brighter as his thrusts sped up.</p><p>“Don't look,” He demanded suddenly, even more cracks appearing on his face with each passing second. Light shone down increasingly bright on Gordon in the darkness as Benrey spoke, “Can’t- Can't stop, Don't look, Gordon, Gordon, Don't-”</p><p>Without warning, two things happened at once.</p><p>The first was that Benrey snapped his hips forward a final time and let out the beginnings of a loud moan.</p><p>The second was that Benrey's face shattered in on itself.</p><p>It was as if his face was previously made of glass, a broken hole taking residence where it had been just moments before. But the light that came from it was transcendentally hypnotic. </p><p>It poured out, filling the room with such an alluring bright light Gordon's eyes widened to take in as much as he could. The whispers in his mind turned to screams and then to an ear shattering cacophony of pure noise as Benrey's hands held his hips down on his dick, nails piercing the bruised flesh. But Gordon didn't even notice, too enraptured by the sight even as his mind screamed ‘Oh god, something is wrong, wrong, <i>wrong</i>’.</p><p>He could see shifting fractals in Benrey's face, incomprehensible patterns and forms that his brain couldn't understand. They pranced across Gordon's vision, begging entrance to his mind in the endlessly deep hole that was Benrey’s face.</p><p>The light was so beautiful as it pleaded with him. It tore through his eyes and clawed at his brain in such a sweet way, the harsh fractals bending in such mind altering ways that it made him think that surely it wouldn't be such a bad thing if he did, right?</p><p>And then Gordon blacked out.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>—————</p>
</div>When Gordon opened his eyes, it was to see Benrey above him looking at him with the most worried expression he had ever seen on him.<p>“Oh my fucking god you're awake,” Benrey wheezed, his grasp on his shoulders loosening, “Jesus christ. Oh my fuck.”</p><p>“Wha… Huh?” Gordon said groggily. His brain felt sore. Everything felt sore, really, but the headache was what he noticed first.</p><p>Benrey yanked him up into a hug, rubbing a hand through his damp hair.</p><p>“Oh my god- Thought I- Thought I fuckin’- Holy shit.”</p><p>He pulled away just as suddenly, looking him in the eyes as he said, “Should've- You need to listen to me when I say shit like that, bro. Could've fuckin’- Your mind would've, like, turned to jelly if you didn't pass out. Jesus, Gordon.”</p><p>“What… What even was that?” Gordon asked. He remembered the searing light that came from Benrey's face, but if he tried to think about what exactly it looked like just made his head hurt worse, “Was that, like… Your true form or something? Or just more eldritch bullshit?”</p><p>Benrey shifted, trying to seem nonchalant even under his decreasingly anxious demeanor, “Uh. ‘S kinda complicated. So… Sure.”</p><p>… The ego boost Gordon got from that was damn near palpable.</p><p>“So you're saying you came so hard I made you fucking lose control of your human form?”</p><p>“Huh? I didn't, uh. Say any of those things. You're putting words in my mouth. Words that don't belong because you put them there. What?”</p><p>Gordon laughed, “It's ok. That's just, ah… Really hot, in a way. Making you lose control that hard.”</p><p>He patted the bed, signalling to Benrey he wanted to lay down. Benrey obliged, laying down so Gordon could join him. The bed squeaked loudly as they adjusted themselves until Gordon and Benrey were facing each other. </p><p>Benrey lifted his arm and put it over Gordon, his large hand rubbing Gordon's bare back as he said, “Don’t think it's hot that you could've died. I think that a normal turn off for humans.”</p><p>“I mean, the dying part would have sucked. Not hot at all.” Gordon replied, “Just… Never mind. I can't explain it well. I'm tired. Words are hard.”</p><p>Benrey let out a low hum, eyes drifting down to Gordon's chest. He hissed to himself, looking down at the battered flesh with a guilty expression.</p><p>“Damn, Gordon. Does that not hurt? Look like you got attacked by a fuckin’... Uh. Bear. Bear that only attacked your chest.”</p><p>“Huh?” Gordon reached down, feeling the inflamed and injured flesh under his fingers. He hadn't even noticed it until Benrey pointed it out. But now that it was on his mind it began to throb, sending bouts of pain through his torso.</p><p>“Uh…”</p><p>“Hold still. Lemme just-“</p><p>Benrey opened his mouth, singing a harmonic tune as teal and green Sweet Voice poured out. It tinted Gordon's skin green from the ambient light that came from them. Benrey only sang for a few seconds, closing his mouth quickly as he observed the floating balls in the little space between them. He grabbed a few of the small orbs and began to rub them on Gordon.</p><p>It was cold and sticky, making his chest hair stick together as he applied the Sweet Voice as tenderly as he could.</p><p>“What are-“</p><p>“Teal green heal beam. Remember? Didn’t- Did I fuck you that hard you forgot?” Benrey said, not stopping, “Fucked all the brains outta you. Gotta turn that PhD back in from the cereal box you got.”</p><p>“... Honestly, it may as well be from a cereal box. Haven't used it for shit.” Gordon muttered. He watched as the teal and green Sweet Voice mixed together on him, the colors swirling together as it was rubbed in. It made his skin tingle gradually as it seeped into his pores, a shiver going down his spine from the increasing coldness.</p><p>But just as quickly as the coldness appeared it disappeared, leaving Gordon with a healed but sticky chest. Benrey removed his hand, licking his fingers as Gordon experimentally touched himself. There wasn't a trace of any bite marks that he could see, only left with the memory of the dozens of marks that had littered his skin just a minute ago.</p><p>“... Wow.” He said simply.</p><p>“Yeah… Sorry about that. The cumbrain just- Uh, took over.”</p><p>“Benrey.” Gordon lifted his hand to his face, thumb rubbing just below his eye, “I don't know how many times I have to say I like something or want you to do something for you to get that I like it. It was hot. So shut up and enjoy the afterglow a little bit.”</p><p>He scooted closer, wrapping his arm around him as he threw a leg over his torso. Benrey made a low noise in the back of his throat as he pulled Gordon as close as he could.</p><p>“... We’re real sweaty.” Benrey whispered against his forehead.</p><p>Gordon smiled, “Yeah. But this is still nice.”</p><p>Benrey nodded once, moving his hand slowly up and down Gordon's back as they cuddled. They laid in silence for a long time, Gordon getting progressively more and more sleepy against Benrey's warm body, listening to the sounds of cars going by and other ambient noises as time passed.</p><p>Gordon sighed, squeezing Benrey once before wriggling downward a bit, pressing his face up against Benrey’s broad chest. The hair made his nose tickle but it felt so nice he refused to move.</p><p>“Can’t believe it.” Benrey finally said, breaking the silence as he began to touch Gordon's head.</p><p>“Can't believe what?” Gordon whispered, not moving his head as he asked.</p><p>“This. Holdin’ you. The shit we did earlier. It just- I can't believe it. Feels like I'm gonna close my eyes and just… Be alone. Like this was some sort of fucked up dream.”</p><p>Gordon frowned against Benrey. He squeezed him gently, the soft flesh giving a bit under his touch, “It’s real, dude. I'm here.”</p><p>“I know, I know, but… I really kinda thought that last night was gonna be the closest I ever got to you. ‘N that really fucked me up. Was ready for you to just… Kick me out. Realize that you shouldn't be leaning on ‘n cuddlin’ the guy who… Did that to you- Did that to your arm. So I just figured I man up and- And get my stupid feelings out there before you did. Haha.”</p><p>Gordon's heart shattered to pieces hearing the defeated and nihilistic tone in his voice.</p><p>“Don't- Don't talk like that. I love you, dude. So don't worry about that anymore. I’d never do that.”</p><p>“... Still real sorry about it. Was… Real fucked up of me. And Bubby, but- Mostly me.” Benrey said, “Definitely, uh, number one on the Benrey fucked up moments vid. Besides trying to kill you. And everyone else.”</p><p>Gordon pushed himself away, wriggling back up to face Benrey head on.</p><p>“Benrey. I can't make you forgive yourself. That's something you have to work on. But… Would you ever hurt me?”</p><p>Benrey's eyes widened, “What?”</p><p>“Would you ever hurt me?” Gordon repeated, “Would you ever try and kill me?”</p><p>“No.” Benrey replied quickly, shaking his head on his pillow, “Never. I- I’d never do that. Why-”</p><p>“Then I don't have to worry. I can still forgive you because I know I'm safe around you. I love you, Benrey. I'm not going to suddenly regret loving you or sleeping with you or whatever over it. I forgave you months ago, and even if- If something happened I wouldn't suddenly hate you over my arm. So please… Try and forgive yourself, too. You can’t let it hang over your head forever.”</p><p>Gordon leaned in, kissing him on the cheek as sweetly as he could. When he pulled away he smiled, trying to give him a look that conveyed just how deep his love ran.</p><p>Benrey didn't say anything, giving Gordon a wide eyed look he couldn’t quite translate. Shock, perhaps? Disbelief? Either way, Gordon kept his smile on his face as Benrey parted his lips slowly.</p><p>Suddenly, red and pink Sweet Voice balls came flying out of his mouth, hitting Gordon in the face and spreading into the air above them. Benrey closed his mouth promptly, trying to hold it in as Gordon laughed, trying to wipe the sticky substance off his face.</p><p>“Ok,” Gordon said, voice light with amusement, “I hate you now. Never mind.”</p><p>“Sorry. Just hadta do it after hearin’ all that sappy shit.” Benrey smiled, Sweet Voice dripping from his mouth as he did so. Gordon brought his face forward, kissing it away. It tasted like bubblegum and cherries as he licked his lips. Benrey grinned and grabbed his sticky face, looking at Gordon with lidded eyes before pulling him for a deep kiss. </p><p>Their lips tangled on the bed they shared kiss after kiss, uncaring about the mess coating their mouths. Gordon wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, lips moving in unison in the darkness. All he knew was that eventually Benrey ended the kiss so he could lean off of the bed and grab his shirt he was wearing earlier, using it to wipe off his messy face. Gordon could feel just how tired he was after that, eyes drifting closed more and more as he laid beside Benrey. His eyes closed for the final time as he felt Benrey rub comforting circles into his spine with his warm, calloused fingers.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>—————</p>
</div>When Gordon woke up, the sun was shining brightly through the window. He stretched, rubbing his eyes to try and get the sleep out of them. He sat up and looked over to the other side of the bed.<p>Benrey wasn't there. He touched where he used to be, feeling the last remnants of warmth in the sheets that proved he was there. He most likely just went to his room or something. They were both really dirty, no doubt.</p><p>As Gordon got out of the bed and stood, his hand shot between his legs as something began to drip out of him.</p><p>Ah. Yeah. <i>Really</i> dirty.</p><p>Gordon quickly went into his bathroom and turned on the shower. He stuck his hand under the spray of water with his other hand between his legs, not wanting to get cum on the floor as he waited. When he felt the water was hot enough he stepped inside, sighing as the warm water hit his skin. He rubbed the sticky remnants of Sweet Voice away on his face and chest and tried to clean his genitals as well as he could. He was <i>really</i> fucking sore, so he had to be gentle. And he was covered in scratches and bruises everywhere, especially on his hips. He even had a large hand shaped set of bruises on his wrists, too.</p><p>(Not that he minded it. It sent heat coursing through him as he thought back to what happened just a few hours ago.)</p><p>He turned off the shower once he was done and dried off, getting the excess wetness out of his hair before blow drying it. His scalp was dry and flaky when he finished, just as he thought it would be.</p><p>“Knew I shouldn't've dried it last night.” He muttered to himself, picking a stray bit of skin out of his roots, “This is what I get for wanting to get banged.”</p><p>He tried getting out as many knots as he could, trying to make his hair somewhat presentable before saying ‘fuck it’ and walking out. He didn't have nearly enough coffee in his system to mess with it right now.</p><p>He dunked his Sweet Voice covered shirt on the floor into the laundry bin in the corner while he put on some comfortable clothes, not bothering to wear anything decent. He would deal with real clothes later. Gordon then put on his glasses and left his room. He went into the kitchen and reached into the cabinet to find a half empty bag of coffee grounds. He poured water into the reservoir in the coffee pot and dumped a few spoonfuls of the grounds into the filter and turned it on, waiting for the coffee to be made. Gordon would have to thank Tommy for the coffee recommendation later. The coffee was definitely a kick in the ass when he needed to wake up quick.</p><p>A pair of hands wrapped around his waist unexpectedly, followed by a nose in his hair. Gordon smiled as Benrey inhaled deeply and made a noise deep in his chest as he hunched over.</p><p>“Nice smell, bro. Like, uh… Dunno. Flowers or somethin’.”</p><p>“It’s ‘Black Cherry’, if you wanna know.”</p><p>“Mmmm,” Benrey groaned softly, moving his face from his scalp to his neck, rubbing his cheek on it, “Like it. Smells like you... Even if you got some dandruff in my nose.”</p><p>Gordon hummed, patting Benrey's head as he watched the coffee slowly drip into the pot.</p><p>“Not to seem like I’m gonna be ignoring you but I’ll probably have to be on the computer all day.” Gordon said, trying not to lean back into Benrey’s touch, “I have to start applying for jobs.”</p><p>“Oh.” Benrey pulled away, still rubbing his hands up and down his waist, “About that. Uh… Coomer said you should go by his lab in a few days.”</p><p>“Huh?” Gordon turned to face Benrey. Benrey stood up to his full height, making Gordon have to crane his neck to look up at him, “Why should I do that?”</p><p>Benrey fidgeted.</p><p>“Uh. I may- I might have, uh. Made a bet last night. About getting you an interview.”</p><p>“... What.”</p><p>“I didn't want you to be sad and-” Benrey tapped his fingers on his legs, “I know you said it's hard to get a job around here and- You're a scientist, y'know? And I asked him about it and he only agreed to set something up if I won a bet in macaroni pong. And I did. So you gotta go in on Monday and get interviewed. Loser.”</p><p>Gordon blinked slowly, then leaned up against the counter.</p><p>“... If I had known that getting a job there was that easy I would have made a bet with him months ago.” Gordon mused. He had been trying repeatedly to get into the lab ever since Coomer had told him about it, but he never received any calls or emails back. He had figured it was a lost cause long ago.</p><p>The coffee maker dinged, telling Gordon the pot was ready. He turned his attention away from Benrey and began to pour himself a mug.</p><p>“I mean, thank you, Benrey. But you shouldn’t feel like you have to do things like that for me.”</p><p>“I know I don’t have to,” Benrey said from behind him, “But I wanted to. I- I know science ‘n shit makes you happy. ‘N there's lots of science stuff happening there. And everyone would be there… Besides me.”</p><p>Gordon faced Benrey again, blowing the steam away from his mug before taking a small sip. He smacked his lips softly, the bitter taste of black coffee perking his senses ever so slightly.</p><p>“... Well, still. Thanks. It means a lot to me. I think they pay pretty well there so if I get in I won't have to sell all my shit to, uh, survive… Although I’ll have to get you to use your Sweet Voice to heal my neck. And my wrists, too.”</p><p>He waved his empty hand in the air, turning his wrist from side to side, “I can’t go in there looking like this.”</p><p>“... Um. You want a normal answer or a sexy answer?”</p><p>Gordon pushed back some stray strands of hair, “The sexy one first.”</p><p>“I could do that,” Benrey gave Gordon a salacious grin, “But then I’d have to put them back.”</p><p>Gordon smiled as he took another sip of his coffee. The steam made his glasses fog up toward the bottom.</p><p>“You could, but not right now. I just woke up and I’m sore as hell. What’s the normal answer?”</p><p>“... I didn’t get that far.”</p><p>Gordon laughed, the coffee in his hand sloshing around in the mug haphazardly.</p><p>“That- That wasn’t even that funny, bro. What’s so funny?” Benrey asked, a tinge of confusion in his voice.</p><p>“Just you, Benrey.” Gordon let out another small laugh, wiping a tear from his eye, “You’re just really silly. And you make me laugh.”</p><p>A faint blush dusted across Benrey’s cheeks. It made Gordon’s heart soar at the sight. </p><p>Benrey looked between the mug in Gordon's hand and his face, “... Can I have some?”</p><p>“Oh, sure.”</p><p>Gordon put his mug down on the counter and began to walk to the cabinet-</p><p>Benrey lifted him up in his arms, holding him in the air as he rubbed his face in his hair.</p><p>“Dude!” Gordon yelped, squirming in his arms as a smile formed on his face nonetheless, “Can't just pick me up like that!”</p><p>“Gotta get used to it, bro. So short it's what I hafta do. Should start drinkin’ some milk so you grow more or somethin’. Get up to my level.”</p><p>“I know you can change size, Benrey. You could always make yourself a normal height.”</p><p>He could hear the grin in Benrey's voice as he responded, “... I could. But you’re so cute when you’re so small compared to me. So… Nah.”</p><p>Gordon huffed, smiling not having left his face the whole time. Benrey didn't seem like he was going to let him down anytime soon, so he figured he may as well ask what he forgot to last night.</p><p>“So what did those Sweet Voice colors mean last night? The red and… Pink? Dark pink?”</p><p>“Dark pink.” Benrey clarified for him.</p><p>“Yeah. So… You gonna tell me what it means or not? Should I just ask Tommy-”</p><p>“Don't ask Tommy, jesus. Fuckin’ die of embarrassment. Kill me dead.” Benrey said against his scalp, taking another deep breath, “I could tell you but... It’s pretty gay. Dunno- Dunno if youre ready for it.”</p><p>“Dude,” Gordon said, rubbing Benrey's arms around his torso, “We literally had sex last night. And we both admitted we loved each other. We are gay.”</p><p>“Yeah, and?”</p><p>Gordon rolled his eyes, “So you can tell me, Benrey.”</p><p>“... Promise you won't laugh.”</p><p>“I won’t.” Gordon said quickly, “I’d never laugh at you. You’re safe with me.”</p><p>Benrey took another deep breath, squeezing Gordon tighter against him. He rubbed his face against Gordon once more before bringing his lips to his ear, whispering into it.</p><p>“... Red to dark pink means you make me complete.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ITS DONE</p><p>find me on tumblr @scriptdoctors. not that i would post anything in the tags i just wanna chill. its more if you just wanna ask me something privately yknow</p></blockquote></div></div>
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